DEAR ABBY: I have a beautiful 20-year-old daughter. She's currently home from college for a break. She spends a great deal of time in our back yard sunning by the pool and swimming. This is fine, but my concern is that she's doing it in the nude.

Now I am far from a prude, Abby, and do most of my own sunning and swimming in the nude as well. My concern is that I am recently remarried, and my daughter doesn't bother to cover up when my new husband is home. She seems just as comfortable nude in front of him as she is in front of me. This seems odd, because this is only the third or fourth time my daughter has met him.

I am further conflicted because my husband obviously enjoys looking at my daughter while she's naked. She has a great body. My husband has been constantly aroused, and this has been leading to some of the best sex I have ever had. When I thought we were falling into a rut, all of a sudden we're making love twice a day. I love it!

My daughter is home for one more week. I'm not sure whether to say anything to her or not. I'm certainly enjoying the side benefit of her exhibitionism. Should I just enjoy this week knowing that she'll be back at summer school soon? -- CONFUSED BUT ENJOYING

DEAR CONFUSED: Speak up now. By allowing this to continue, you are playing with dynamite. While your daughter has probably learned the habit of swimming and sunbathing in the nude from you, the fact that she is doing this in front of your new husband -- whom she has only recently met -- is extremely inappropriate.

Consider the future. What if your daughter decides to spend other vacations with you? You won't be able to let your husband out of your sight. And if he surprises you, and turns out to be capable of making love three times a day, it could mean the end of your marriage.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I brought his mom to live with us two years ago. She's almost 88 and could no longer take care of herself. This has totally changed our life. She had been living in another state where her other son is. He comes up to see her every month or so -- that's all he does for her.

She went to stay at his home last summer for one week so we could get away. We want to go away again this summer and would like for him to take her. He and his wife are giving us excuse after excuse why they can't. We are upset and feel this is unfair.

Abby, they should work it out. We do everything for Mom and brought her back to better health. What do you suggest we do? -- UPSET IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR UPSET: I agree that taking Mom for one week in the summer so that you and your husband can have a week of respite should not be too much to ask. However, since your brother-in-law and his wife have made it plain that they are not prepared to do so, your only other option is to find someone who's willing to come in and be a companion for Mom while you're away.

Consider contacting the National Federation of Interfaith Volunteer Caregivers. Founded in 1987, through a grant from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, NFIVC helps organize human compassion into caring acts of service for anyone who is chronically ill, frail or alone.

The address is: 1 W. Armour Blvd., Suite 202, Kansas City, MO 64111. The phone number is: (816) 931-5442, and the Web site is: www.nfivc.org.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading Roseann Hermann's letter about the importance of parents teaching their teen-agers everything they need to know about birth control so they can make informed choices.

I am the 17-year-old mother of a 4-month-old daughter. I did not listen to my mother and father. They are wonderful parents. They stressed to me the importance of finishing high school, going to college, saving money, getting married and having children. They would tell me this every day. I would give anything to go back and listen to my parents.

But now that my daughter is here, she is the most beautiful thing in my life. I never knew I could love something so tiny so much. I'm getting my GED, working, and taking care of her. I raise her -- my parents don't. Things are on hold, but I will go to college.

Why does everyone blame parents, Abby? Mine talked to me, but I disobeyed. My point is: Parents talk; teens don't listen. -- KIMBERLY IN RIVERVIEW, FLA.

DEAR KIMBERLY: I'm printing your letter with the hope that other teens will read it and heed what you, a contemporary, have to say. I commend you for juggling your GED studies, working, and facing all of the challenges of young motherhood.

The fact that you credit your parents with trying their best to communicate their hopes for your future -- even though you admit you refused to listen -- tells me how much maturity and insight you have gained. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I am responding to the recent letters in your column about the importance of teaching sex education to children before they become teen-agers.

I am 13 years old. My parents told me everything I need to know about sex. If I want birth control, I can go to them.

Abby, I think you would be one terrible, awful parent not to talk to your children and assure them that you will be there for them no matter what. Children who are not taught by their parents -- whom they trust the most -- are more likely to get a sexually transmitted disease or become pregnant at an earlier age, if only to get back at their overprotective parents. Trust me, I know because I have talked to my friends -- and we do talk about this sort of thing. -- CONCERNED IN RENO

DEAR CONCERNED: It's heartwarming to read how much credit you give your parents for providing all of the important information necessary to prepare you for future sexual relationships. Although you are a mature young lady at 13, I hope that you are years away from having a physical relationship.

Now that you have the information you need, I trust you will take your parents up on their offer to go to them with any questions or concerns that may arise. Knowing you can talk freely with your mom and dad will give you a definite advantage in making sound choices.

DEAR ABBY: My father died recently. Am I still a "Jr." or am I required to drop it? -- WONDERING IN WICHITA

DEAR WONDERING: Please accept my condolences for the loss of your father.

Amy Vanderbilt says that upon the death of the "senior," the "junior" usually drops the "Jr." -- unless both he and his late father were well-known and to drop it would cause confusion. However, if you so desire, there is nothing illegal or improper about retaining the "Jr."

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Jake," and I have been married eight years. We get along perfectly, except for his family. They have conned and cheated us out of thousands of dollars and spread vicious rumors about me.

At one point, the tension and hostility were unbearable, and Jake and I separated. After four months, we realized that we were meant to be together, so we reconciled. We both gave up successful careers and moved 400 miles away from his family. We have been happy here for three years. Aside from yearly holiday get-togethers, we don't see his family -- which is great!

About two weeks ago (just when I thought everything was going well), we were walking along the road and found an adorable dog giving birth to puppies. She was dirty, hungry and dehydrated, but she and the puppies survived under our care. After trying to find the owner, we realized that the dog was probably abandoned.

Well, Jake mentioned the pups to his cousin "Cindy" (a woman who has spread rumors about me), and to our horror, Cindy announced she was coming the following weekend to "pick up the cutest pup in the litter." We never offered a puppy to her, and had mutually decided to keep all the dogs so we wouldn't break up the little family.

When Jake returned Cindy's call, I heard him tell her that I wanted to keep all the dogs and was not giving any of them away.

I feel betrayed and hurt. This made me wonder if the reason his family has always disliked me is that Jake plays the "good guy" and blames decisions his family doesn't like on me.

Abby, I am shocked. Why did he sell me out and make me the "evil" wife? -- FEELING HURT IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR FEELING HURT: Jake doesn't want to make waves in his already turbulent family. He learned early to be a "people pleaser" -- and now you're paying the price.

You would both benefit from marriage counseling. It would give you the opportunity to express your hurt and frustration, and it could help your husband gain the confidence to finally express what HE wants, even to his family.

DEAR ABBY: My son is engaged to be married. I live several states away from his fiancee and her family. I was informed by the girl's mother that there will be a bridal shower in her state to which I will be invited. She also told me a shower should be given here for the groom's family and friends to honor the bride, and that she and the bride would attend.

No one here has offered to give the bride a shower. Abby, is it proper for the bride's mother to tell me to arrange a shower for the bride, and to invite family and friends who probably won't be able to attend the wedding? Should I be offended or simply confused? -- GROOM'S MOM ON THE FAR COAST

DEAR GROOM'S MOM: The groom's family is not required to host a shower, and there is no obligation for your friends or more distant family to do so. If someone volunteers to host a shower, it would be a nice gesture. However, since no one should be invited to a shower who cannot attend the wedding, it might turn out to be a very small affair.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)