DEAR ABBY: Because your name is synonymous with good advice, we wanted to share with you and your readers some of Uncle Sam's best advice for today's woman.

The "Women's Consumer Survival Kit" is a free package of up to 20 federal consumer booklets tailored especially for women by the Consumer Information Center. This free package is designed to help empower women to take positive control of their lives. The booklets contain vital information for staying healthy, taking medicines, buying a home, investing, getting federal benefits and handling consumer complaints.

Abby, we appreciate your assistance in getting this valuable consumer information to your readers, but please tell them to place their orders now, because supplies are limited. -- TERESA NAVARRO NASIF, DIRECTOR, U.S. CONSUMER INFORMATION CENTER

DEAR TERESA: Your offer proves the truth of the saying, "The best things in life are free!" I have reviewed the booklets you are offering, and they're chock-full of information on food and women's health, home and finance, Social Security and Medicare.

There are three ways to order the "Women's Consumer Survival Kit":

1. Call toll-free: 1-888-878-3256 weekdays 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. Eastern time, and ask for the Women's Consumer Survival Kit.

2. Send name and address to "Women's Consumer Survival Kit," Pueblo, CO 81009.

3. Go online to check out and order it through the Consumer Information Center's Web site at www.pueblo.gsa.gov. While you are there, you can read, print out or save any publication on the site for free.

Readers, the survival kits will be sent at no cost to you -- no postage, no fees. God bless America!

DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Ric," and I share a home and a child, and very soon a marriage certificate. When his best friend was married last fall, Ric was asked to be a part of the wedding party. However, when the invitation arrived, I was not included. I took his suit to the cleaners for the rehearsal party, picked up his tuxedo, shopped for the wedding gift (which cost more than expected), and sat at home with our son all weekend while he participated in the festivities, without complaining.

Since the wedding, his friend and his new bride have invited Ric to participate in various other outings with them -- and, you guessed it -- they have conveniently forgotten to include me, or to even acknowledge that I am a significant part of his life.

I have since told Ric that their lack of tact bothers me, but he continues to participate solo, I continue to sit at home and wait, and his friends continue to exclude me. Am I wrong to be hurt by this inconsiderate behavior, or to feel as if he has betrayed me by letting this continue? -- TIRED OF BEING TAKEN FOR GRANTED, NORFOLK, VA.

DEAR TIRED: Since you share a home and a child together, it should have been clear to your fiance's friends a long time ago that he is in a committed relationship. And that means you should have been included in the invitations. You are being treated with disrespect and lack of consideration.

The person to blame for this is Ric. It is long past the point where he should have made clear to his friends that you are a couple, and if they want his company, you are part of the package. Ask him why he has allowed you to be excluded, and why he is socializing without you. Listen closely to his answer. If Ric isn't willing to put a stop to it now, you'd be wise to rethink marrying him, because I predict he'll make your future miserable.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I feel the need to respond to "Curious," regarding who should write thank-you notes. When my son and his wife were married, they decided that it would be a joint effort, with each responding to the gifts from their own family and friends, and working together on those for mutual friends. I had several of my friends and family members compliment me on what wonderful thank-you notes they received -- and they were very impressed that he had written them.

When he was young, I impressed upon him the fact that household responsibilities are for all who live in the home, not designated to certain genders. I came from a home with all sisters, and we helped with all duties. His father came from a home with all brothers, and I know he would never write a thank-you note because this would have never been expected in his family. I am proud and pleased that my son assumes and shares all responsibilities with his spouse. The husband of "Curious" needs to get a clue! -- PROUD MOTHER IN OGDEN, UTAH

DEAR PROUD MOTHER: Orchids to you. You have done your job well, and you deserve to be proud. Whether it's conscious or unconscious, mothers have tremendous influence on the attitudes they impart to their sons -- and you seem to have imparted a sense of gender neutrality to yours.

DEAR ABBY: Last summer, my Cadillac "died" amidst busy traffic in a rundown area of town. I had to walk quite a ways before finding a telephone to summon help. When I returned to the car, I "directed" traffic around it for at least 45 minutes.

During that time, 17 people stopped and offered to push my vehicle to the curb or phone for assistance. I thanked them all, but said help was on the way. One lady even offered to let me sit in her air-conditioned car to wait, as it was a hot day. When I refused with thanks, she handed me a cold can of pop!

Finally a nice man parked on a side street, walked back and said he wanted to help me, even though I said help was coming. He replied, "If my mother were in trouble, I would want someone to help her!" Then he got my car started and insisted on following me all the way to the Cadillac agency (at least 10 blocks). These wonderful good Samaritans all stopped during their busy day to help a stranger!

I am a 67-year-old Caucasian woman, Abby, and 16 of those 17 people who stopped were black. When my local paper chose not to print this, I hoped that you would. It is a true testament of compassion, when all we seem to read about is the bad side of life. -- ANN ALDRICH, COLUMBUS, OHIO

DEAR ANN: Thank you for pointing out that there are caring, concerned people in every neighborhood. The level of affluence has nothing to do with it, and neither does the skin color of the residents.

CONFIDENTIAL TO "LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST": "Live all you can; it's a mistake not to. It doesn't so much matter what you do in particular so long as you have your life." (Henry James, 1843-1916)

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 18 years, and we've been through thick and thin. My husband knows all my fears, weaknesses and strengths. So why can't I get advice from him when I need him the most? I'm afraid he will think I am weak, stupid and careless. I'm afraid he will not love me anymore and will leave me.

We have two boys, and it costs a lot to raise a family these days, what with groceries, personal items and clothing. I try to make everyone happy, and it's killing me. What's ironic is that my husband thinks I'm a good money manager. I shop with coupons, etc., and tell him how much I've saved. He thinks it's great. I hate deceiving him.

My problem: We are approximately $17,000 in credit card debt. My husband is unaware of our financial situation. There is also a $3,000 loan that he does know about. He thinks $50 is a lot of money, so how do I begin to tell him we owe $17,000?

Hiding payments to the credit card companies is so stressful. The funny thing is, I didn't spend any of the money on stupid stuff. The gas cards are used because once everything else is paid, there's no money left for gas for the vehicles. Then there are family birthdays, special occasions, etc. -- and no cash for that -- so I use the store credit cards. The Visa is mostly for cash advances to pay for groceries or to supplement a checking account that has gotten too low. I think, "I'll pay this all off soon and he'll never know." But it doesn't happen, and I'm caught in this mad cycle that never ends.

Abby, I'm going crazy. Please help me with some good, sound advice. I don't want to lose my husband. I love him. I help anyone who needs it and I'm good to my husband's mother and family. I have had to forgive him on many occasions for things he has done in the past. Can he possibly forgive me?

For many months I have gone to bed at night asking God for guidance. I think he told me to write to you. -- DROWNING IN DEBT IN LOUISIANA

DEAR DROWNING: Please stop flogging yourself. You haven't done anything that hasn't been done to a lesser -- or greater -- degree by thousands of other people. The Federal Reserve reports that credit card debt hit $566 billion in January 1999.

Your husband will be understandably upset that you have kept this information from him. However, viewed rationally, you and he have far more invested in your 18-year marriage and two children than money.

Stop stalling and tell your husband of your predicament. The secrecy and not reviewing your expenses together are what have allowed this problem to get out of hand in the first place.

You and he can regain control of your finances by contacting the National Foundation for Consumer Credit (NFCC), a non-profit organization that provides education and counseling services on budgeting and credit.

To contact the NFCC member office nearest you, call toll-free from a touch-tone phone: (800) 388-2227. You can also get information from the NFCC Web site: www.nfcc.org. Please don't put this off any longer, because the organization can provide you with a workable solution to your problem.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)