life

Wise Words to Live by Provide Food for Thought

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 18th, 2000 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I recently received the enclosed creed and enjoyed it very much. I thought perhaps you and your readers would be inspired by it, too. -- MRS. N.J.S. IN WESTERN SPRINGS, ILL.

DEAR MRS. S.: Thank you for sharing it. I can see why it inspired you, and I'm sure it will make many other people stop and think. Read on:

A CREED TO LIVE BY by Nancy Sim

Don't underestimate your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you will live all the days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give love; the fastest way to lose love is to hold to it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don't dismiss your dreams; to be without dreams is to be without hope; to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you're going.

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each and every step of the way.

life

Dear Abby for March 18, 2000

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 18th, 2000 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I can't top the letter from the lady in the body cast who was receiving obscene telephone calls, but I do have a tale about weird phone calls.

In 1967, I was hired as a claims examiner at the unemployment insurance office in my hometown. Since ours was the only listing in the phone directory under our unusual last name, I was advised to have our home number changed and unlisted. Unfortunately, I procrastinated. Then I began getting evening calls from men asking for a half-dozen or so girls by name. ("Candy" was the most popular.) They usually hung up if my husband answered -- and he finally began to look askance at me!

One morning before I left for work, I received a call from a collection agent demanding payment on a long overdue bill. Armed with a first and last name, I grabbed the phone book and found our number listed to that woman's name. Her address? Smack dab in the middle of our city's red light district! Quick action by the telephone company saved our marriage; we're still together after 41 years.

Please don't reveal my location or name. Just ... CALL ME 'MADAM'

DEAR 'MADAM': Bravo! And "Candy is dandy" -- and probably long "retired." Your letter is a compelling lesson to those who procrastinate.

life

Dear Abby for March 18, 2000

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 18th, 2000 | Letter 3 of 3

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Booklets, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

life

Young Parents Can't Conceive of Goals Beyond Making Babies

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 17th, 2000 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Over the past few years, I have noticed more and more reports of young people -- some barely into high school -- who seem to have no higher goal in life than making babies of their own.

Those I've talked to don't seem to realize how much tougher it will be to go on to college and take up a career while also having to care for a child. They don't believe that life can bring them anything better than their current situation and think that having babies is their only option.

Abby, for all its faults, this is still a great country we live in, filled with opportunities for those able and willing to take advantage of them. Getting a good education and NOT having kids when you're young is a step in the right direction. Without the responsibilities of parenthood, young people have the freedom to travel, gain more life experience, and then are able to share these with their children as they grow up.

Please keep spreading the word, Abby. Having kids is a responsibility that should not be taken lightly. -- STEVE IN MINNESOTA

DEAR STEVE: That's true. Professionals who work with young adults have observed that those who start a family during their teen years tend to see no possibility of a brighter future ahead. Conversely, teens who understand that a higher education and a career that pays more than minimum wage are possible for themselves are more inclined to postpone childbearing.

So, you see -- hope is a most effective contraceptive!

life

Dear Abby for March 17, 2000

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 17th, 2000 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I read your column most every day and enjoy it very much. I must tell you about an obscene telephone call I received about 8 o'clock one morning. There was heavy breathing and then a deep voice said, "I want your body." To which I replied, "Have you seen it lately?" The caller hung up immediately, never to call again. -- GINGER IN VENTURA, CALIF.

DEAR GINGER: Your letter broke me up. However, in a more serious vein, my readers should take note of the following:

DEAR ABBY: I feel that your compliment to "Frankly Boring" on how she handled her obscene telephone caller warrants further examination.

First of all, she played right into the caller's hands by inviting conversation. Next she informed the caller that she was the only adult in the house. Then she implied that she was lonely, being "cooped up with two kids under the age of 4."

As a retired police officer and author of the "Domestic Violence Survival Guide" (Looseleaf Law Publications Inc., Flushing, N.Y.), I advise readers to HANG UP IMMEDIATELY and REPEATEDLY whenever they receive a bogus phone call.

Even with automatic redial, a caller will tire of trying to bait someone who refuses to be baited. Hope this helps. -- CLIFF MARIANI, HUDSON, FLA.

DEAR CLIFF: You're right. The woman did disclose too much personal information about herself and her circumstances, and it could have led to an escalation of her problem. Fortunately, however, her unorthodox solution worked because she never heard from the caller again. Victims of obscene callers should take note of your advice -- it was more carefully thought-out than mine.

life

Dear Abby for March 17, 2000

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 17th, 2000 | Letter 3 of 3

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

life

Child's Playing on Thin Ice Breaks Schoolmates' Hearts

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 16th, 2000 | Letter 1 of 4

DEAR ABBY: Feb. 4 was a sad day. One less child is going to come back to school. He will never eat pizza, play games or laugh again. He passed away last night.

William Brown died on Feb. 3 in an icy pond in Chesapeake, Va. He and some other boys were playing on an iced-over pond when the ice broke. Two of the boys got out, and 911 people pulled one boy out of the pond. Sadly, William could not be revived. He died after 45 minutes in the freezing water. He wasn't even a teen-ager yet.

I had seen William in the halls at school, and he was probably in my class at one point or another. When I heard he had died, I started to cry. How could this happen to someone so young?

I want to make sure no more children die the way William did. Please, Abby, warn your readers about the danger of ice. Even if the ice looks thick, it often isn't. It may break, and you could drown. William learned the hard way.

No laughter was heard in school today. The flag will be raised only halfway. One less person will come back to school -- because of thin ice. -- KRISTEN MC CARTHY, AGE 12, CHESAPEAKE, VA.

DEAR KRISTEN: My deepest sympathy goes out to William Brown's family. Your heartfelt warning deserves space in my column. Thank you for writing.

life

Dear Abby for March 16, 2000

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 16th, 2000 | Letter 2 of 4

DEAR ABBY: When I saw the letter from "Tempted," the girls' high school coach in California, I had to write. I would like to urge him to remain calm and cool.

He should take "that look" some of his students are giving him as a compliment -- and handle it gracefully. Girls that age quickly develop crushes, and sooner or later they get over them. I would not bench anybody or report her to the principal. To do so would be an overreaction and too harsh. I would let them flirt all they want (after a while they'll become bored) and continue to go about the business of coaching.

While Title IX has given young women the opportunity to be strong and confident and learn teamwork, it seems to have given some of them license to be as aggressive, profane, vulgar and obscene as men can be -- which is unfortunate.

I have also noticed that some girls without fathers, be it through desertion, divorce or death, especially crave older male attention, and they don't care where they get it. Girls learn to relate to and love men through their fathers. Dad is "safe" and should be a role model. Teachers and coaches are handy substitutes.

So, "Tempted," be patient, kind and keep it friendly -- and keep your wits about you. -- 60-YEAR-OLD RETIRED COACH IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR COACH: You have made some valid points, and I agree with your conclusion. However, the 26-year-old coach signed his letter "Tempted." If he gives in to that temptation, he could not only ruin his budding career, but the life of the student with whom he became involved as well. If there's a question, it's better to err on the side of caution.

life

Dear Abby for March 16, 2000

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 16th, 2000 | Letter 3 of 4

CONFIDENTIAL TO MY MUSLIM READERS: Happy Eid Al-Adha!

life

Dear Abby for March 16, 2000

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 16th, 2000 | Letter 4 of 4

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

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