DEAR ABBY: I was a mother of two young children and a happily married woman until I got involved with a married former flame. Years ago I was crazy about him, but he didn't feel the same about me so I went on with my life. When our paths crossed several months ago, neither one of us thought we'd be unfaithful to our spouses, but we couldn't stay away, and I fell totally in love with him again. We both agreed we are soul mates, but unfortunately it wasn't meant to be.
The affair has now ended, and I am having a hard time going on with my life. I don't feel the same about my husband -- who is a wonderful husband and father. I feel so lucky I didn't get caught and lose everything. I want my happiness with my life back. I know if I hadn't crossed that line I wouldn't be in this mess. I'm afraid to go to counseling, as it may draw attention from my husband -- but I don't know how to cope and let go of those feelings of love for the other man.
Can people really fall back in love after having an affair? What can I do to get on with my life? I am trying to be strong one day at a time. -- SORRY NOW IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR SORRY NOW: Take the chance and get counseling. It will help you assess what made you so vulnerable to the affair, and to take stock of what's important in your marriage. Yes, it is possible for couples to "fall in love again." And one of the strongest motivators is recognizing the reasons they needed each other in the first place.