DEAR ABBY: In a recent column you discussed the subject of inhalant abuse. It incorrectly mentioned a 3M product, Scotchgard Fabric Protector, as one product that is commonly abused.

Prior to 1993, Scotchgard protector did contain solvents that were apparently attractive to "huffers." However, 3M responded to environmental and safety concerns and reformulated the product. Since that reformulation, we have not been made aware of any inhalant incidents related to this product. The current product is water-based. -- HARVEY BERWIN, PH.D., 3M HOME CARE DIVISION, ST. PAUL, MINN.

DEAR DR. BERWIN: That's a relief. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I am the director of the National Inhalant Prevention Coalition. I recently read the follow-up letter in your column about inhalant-related death. Unfortunately, incidents like this occur all too frequently. More than 340 deaths have been reported to us since 1996. Education and awareness are the prime prevention tools in dealing with this problem.

I would like to share another issue that has recently arisen that a number of people have contacted me about. One of the major shoe manufacturers has a new product -- a basketball shoe filled with helium. Their promotion for the shoe includes basketball stars who talk as if they have just huffed helium.

Abby, these are role models for young people who look up to these athletes. Some might say that if it's OK for these people to huff helium, then it's only a short leap of the imagination to assume it's OK to try something that could be far more deadly. -- HARVEY WEISS, DIRECTOR, NATIONAL INHALANT PREVENTION COALITION

DEAR MR. WEISS: The people responsible for that ad must have helium in their heads instead of brains. "Huffing" is not cool; it can be deadly.

Readers: The National Inhalant Prevention Coalition has a Web site that provides information in both English and Spanish at www.inhalants.org. The coalition also has materials it sends at no cost if people contact it through its Web site or via the toll-free number: 1-800-269-4237.

DEAR ABBY: On Dec. 25, you printed an unattributed piece titled "Friendship" that was sent to you by a reader in St. Petersburg, Fla.

I thought you would like to know those words were written by Dinah Maria Mulock Craik in 1866, in a book titled, "A Life for a Life" (p.169). Here is the original in its entirety:

"But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearless on any subject; with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Oh, the comfort -- the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person -- having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away." -- ROSALIE MAGGIO, ST. PAUL, MINN.

DEAR ROSALIE: Thank you for the reliable input. Several readers mistakenly informed me that it had been written by T.S. Eliot. However, Warren Seid, my trusty secret weapon at the Hollywood Library, has confirmed that you are correct.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Your advice to "Sis, the Nag" from Hickory Hills, Ill., was right on target. The woman is a primary candidate for retirement living. Unfortunately, society as a whole, and especially the maturing adult, is undereducated when it comes to the resources available to them and the many advantages of those resources.

A large part of the American culture continues to perceive retirement living in the same vein as life in a nursing home -- hence the hesitation when it comes to this type of decision making. Although life in a retirement community is quite the contrary, this perception has been slow to change.

I work in a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC). The beauty of this environment is that there are 60-, 70-, 80- and 90-year-old adults who continue to live active and independent lives, and yet have assisted and nursing care services available to them in the event these needs arise. The residents reside in a hotel-like atmosphere in their own apartments, with their own furniture, go to the mall, grocery stores, theater and anywhere else they so desire. They make new friends that have had or continue to have similar life experiences.

Today's senior has worked hard to provide children and grandchildren with the opportunity and vision to fulfill their own goals. The families want only the very best for them. They want their parents to enjoy themselves and all of the amenities they so often deprived themselves of to provide for their families. Retirement living is truly a step in the right direction.

"Sis" is no doubt facing a difficult decision. Regardless of how nice the retirement community is, it will never be the memory-filled home in which she raised her family. However, life is a series of trade-offs. She is already feeling the burden of caring for her house and at a loss as to why her children are not more available. "Sis" probably has a delightful brood, but what will she expect of them if her health declines and she finds herself able to handle less and less?

Taking this first step is a big one. I meet people daily who are hesitant to take the initial step. The majority of mature adults feel they are not ready for retirement living. Yet these same folks come into my office six months after they've moved in to tell me how happy they are, and how they wish they had made the move years earlier. -- KELLI KNOX, HOUSTON

DEAR KELLI: Thank you for an informative letter. I received mail from angry readers scolding me because I didn't criticize "Sis's" children for failing to help their mother with maintaining her property. However, I seriously doubt that if they're unwilling or unable to do it, they would appreciate a lecture from me.

It's far more important that "Sis" be empowered to control her own destiny and, if she's not getting the attention she'd like from her children, to develop an independent social life of her own. That is why I urged her to sell the real estate before it becomes run-down and to give serious thought to a retirement community targeted to active seniors.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Booklets, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I have enjoyed reading and re-reading the enclosed item from your column many times. And what a great original gift idea it provides for Valentine's Day: Write a "list" of all the qualities you love about your loved one. If it were framed, it would become a treasured keepsake, and it applies to mothers, fathers, spouses, children, friends, etc. -- HAPPY AFTER 30 YEARS OF MARRIAGE IN GEORGIA

DEAR HAPPY: I agree. And when someone asks me for a gift idea for the person who "has everything," the first thing I suggest is a letter telling that person how much he or she means to you and why. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My marriage was in need of repair. My husband and I had been fighting a lot. He told me that if I didn't like it, I could pack my things and go. I cried myself to sleep for nights on end.

One night I couldn't sleep because I was so upset with him. All I could think about were all the things that bugged me about him. I knew that if I didn't banish these negative thoughts from my mind, it would be a long time before I fell asleep. I decided to think instead of all the things that I loved about him. I wrote them down on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope and placed it in his briefcase.

The next morning, he called me from work to tell me how much he loved me. When he came home that evening, he put my "list" in a frame and hung it on the wall. We hardly ever fight anymore. I get love notes weekly and kisses daily.

I thought some of your readers might like to try this recipe for renewed love. It was so simple -- and well worth the effort. -- HAPPY AGAIN IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR HAPPY AGAIN: What a terrific idea for warming up a chilly marriage. Your list of the qualities you loved about your husband obviously meant a great deal to him. When we focus only on what is wrong, we tend to undervalue what he or she is doing right.

DEAR ABBY: Please tell me how to handle this. I have terrible winter asthma. During the holidays I go to visit my in-laws and my mother -- all chain smokers.

They know about my smoke allergy and they do "try," but being long-term smokers, they usually forget and wind up smoking in the next room or in front of me. I am tired of being the party pooper who says, "Please put that out." So, they don't invite us over to family gatherings unless it's Christmas. I go, and then seven to 10 days later, after I have compromised my immune system, I have terrible bronchitis. It lasted nearly three months last year.

This has gone on so long, I feel like they love their cigarettes more than me.

So here it is January, and I'm starting the new year sick and on inhalers and antibiotics. How can I get it across to my loving family to refrain from smoking in front of me or during my visits without so deeply offending them? -- SLEEPLESS IN OREGON

DEAR SLEEPLESS: You can't! Face it, your family (all smokers) are addicted to tobacco, and their addiction is greater than their consideration for you or your health problems.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)