DEAR ABBY: I am a veteran of World War II. I have a bumper sticker on my vehicle announcing a past reunion of my Army unit. Recently, while shopping, I was approached by an employee of the firm I was in who asked me, "Did you serve, sir?" I replied that I had, indeed, served in WWII. The young man then said, "I would like to thank you, sir, for what you did for our country."

I was stunned. In 55 years, this is the first time I have ever been thanked by a fellow American.

I lost three friends at Normandy, one of whom died at my side. When I look back at the fulfilling life that I have enjoyed in this country that I love, I regard with lasting sorrow the memory of those friends who were denied that opportunity.

The considerate words uttered by that young man meant more to me than I could ever convey to him. In some manner, the pain of remembrance has been made less painful by his kindness.

I returned to visit that young man and gave him my combat medic's badge as a token of my gratitude. -- OSCAR ORTIZ, SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR OSCAR: Because you chose to write this letter, countless veterans will be able to read that young man's words. Memories fade, but the printed word often outlives the writer. Thank you for sharing that rewarding encounter.

DEAR ABBY: Please publish the following plea. It may well save lives. As a deputy sheriff in a small county, I am called to the home of a citizen in a remote area at least once each duty day. Very often, I have a difficult time finding the right house because there is no address on the mailbox, or if there is an address, it's only on the side from which the mail delivery comes.

Emergency vehicles will come in from the closest direction. If there is an address, and it's on the side opposite our approach, we can't see it until we pass it -- and then we must take our eyes off the road to read it. If it's the one we're looking for, we must then find a safe place to turn around, causing further delay in our arrival.

On behalf of all peace officers, firefighters and emergency medical personnel across the nation, I make the following suggestions:

1. Place your address in large numbers in a contrasting color on BOTH sides of your mailbox.

2. Place your address on the house in such a manner as to be easily readable in all light and weather conditions. This is even more important when there are several homes close together.

3. If at all possible, please have someone at the door or in the yard to guide us in.

4. Give the 911 operator a brief description of the house.

Remember, we're trained, equipped and eager to offer the best emergency service, but we can't do a blessed thing until we find you. -- PETER N. SPAGNOLO, DEPUTY SHERIFF, PAYETTE COUNTY, IDAHO

DEAR DEPUTY SPAGNOLO: Those are excellent suggestions, and I hope they'll be taken to heart. They may prevent a tragedy. Your plea is one I hear at least once a year from emergency personnel.

Readers, please take a moment to see whether your address can be easily read from the street. And if it can't -- make it a priority to remedy the problem.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets I and II, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: You receive many letters from people telling you they are taken advantage of -- by friends, relatives, neighbors, etc. Why don't these "victims" assert themselves and refuse to do that which makes them uncomfortable?

The people who drop in unannounced, or the out-of-towners who freeload, are not friends. They have their own agendas and don't stop for one second to consider the other person's feelings.

I used to have a close friend until she asked me if she could borrow $50,000. Her request occurred less than three months after my husband was downsized from a corporation after 19 years. The friendship was never the same after I had to refuse.

My formula is simple: Choose people who treat you the way you treat them -- with consideration and respect. Perhaps some people say yes too often because they want the whole world to love them, and that's why they end up frustrated and resentful. People need to be stronger and simply speak up and just say no. -- BARBARA IN THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST

DEAR BARBARA: I agree that if people were more assertive, fewer would be taken advantage of. It's impossible for anyone to be loved by everyone -- and giving beyond one's means does not guarantee that the giver will receive respect and affection in return.

Classes in assertiveness training are offered by community colleges, community centers and some seniors centers. Books on assertiveness are also available at public libraries and bookstores.

DEAR ABBY: Because of your well-known compassion for animals, I thought you might be interested in knowing what my twin daughters, Lindy and Barbara Wallace of Moscow, Idaho, did for their 50th birthday last year. They decided to make it a special occasion.

They held their party at a local church and had it catered. A small jazz group provided music.

At their age, they decided they didn't need any more "stuff," so the invitations requested donations to the local Humane Society instead of gifts. Friends brought a mountain of dog food, cat food, pet toys, collars, leashes, pet carriers, etc. And many contributed money for the Humane Society wish list.

The Humane Society, which has a no-kill policy, was delighted -- and everyone had a wonderful time. -- BILLYE WALLACE, BUTTE, MONT.

DEAR BILLYE: Although I have heard from readers describing how they turned their special occasions into benefits for food banks and homeless shelters, yours is the first I have received about a benefit for an animal shelter. It's a clever idea for a worthwhile cause. There's no telling how many imitators you have unleashed.

DEAR READERS: Today is the birthday of Martin Luther King Jr., whose words of wisdom ring as true today as when he uttered them during his acceptance speech for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1964:

"Nonviolence is the answer to the crucial political and moral questions of our time: the need for man to overcome oppression and violence without resorting to oppression and violence.

"Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love."

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Booklets, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I would like to pass on some information that came to me via a 14-year-old.

I bought a gun because I travel long distances alone. I called the police to ask them the best way to travel with a gun without getting in trouble with the police. They instructed me to put the clip in the trunk of my car and the gun itself on the seat beside me.

I was telling a friend about this and remarked that if I got into trouble, the gun would be useless. Her 14-year-old son spoke up and said, "No, there's a bullet still in the chamber even after the clip is removed." I asked my father if this was true, and he confirmed it. He removed the clip from my gun and instructed me to go outside and pull the trigger. I did, and it did, indeed, have a bullet in the chamber!

I have often wondered how people could shoot themselves while cleaning a gun. I had no idea that when the clip was removed, a gun could still be loaded. I wonder how many hunters are aware of this. I thought I'd pass this along. Perhaps it could save someone's life. -- DEBRA IN OKLAHOMA CITY

DEAR DEBRA: I am not particularly knowledgeable about guns, so I called the Los Angeles Police Department to inquire. Officer Rodriguez, with whom I spoke, informed me that one should always assume the gun is loaded, and a shell does remain in the chamber when the magazine is removed -- unless it, too, is removed. That's an important warning for inexperienced gun owners.

DEAR ABBY: You recently printed a letter encouraging letters of honest praise to often-overlooked workers. Sometimes, but not often enough, I try to do that.

A few years back, I tried to think of the most underpraised group of workers that I could sincerely compliment. So, I took a picture of our minimally dented 20-year-old metal garbage can sitting at its usual clean spot at the curb. I sent an 8-by-10 color print along with a complimentary letter to the head of sanitation for the city of Dallas. They have obviously been in operation for decades, and they have hundreds of employees who are often maligned for spilled trash, noise, etc.

A few days later, I received a letter in response. It said something like this: "Thanks very much for your complimentary letter. It causes a bit of a problem. We don't know where to file it. It's the first that we have ever received." -- KARL SOUTHWARD, NEMO, TEXAS

DEAR KARL: Your letter proves there's a first time for everything. Now clip this column and send it to the head of sanitation for the city of Dallas with a note: "How about filing it under 'C' for compliments? A letter like the one you received from me is a keeper!" (I'll bet they receive a dozen clippings of this column!)

DEAR ABBY: I read with interest the letter in which Ernest A. Schichler Sr. described how hospital visitors subject patients to stress. I, too, have seen this.

My father had a stroke that partially paralyzed him. While he was in the hospital recovering, his many friends came to wish him well. He could barely talk because of the paralysis, so they talked among themselves. At one point, he called me to the bedside and, speaking with great difficulty, said, "Tell them to leave. They're talking about the high price of funerals." -- KELLY MC DONOUGH, HURST, TEXAS

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)