DEAR ABBY: In my 66 years of life, I have never written to you, but I have to respond to the letter from "Widow Driver," who complained about chauffeuring older women who don't drive.

She seems to think that a driver's license is obtainable by anyone who can guide an automobile without hitting too many obstacles.

My wife can drive a car to some extent. I taught her the basics in case of emergency. But when we went to the DMV to see about making it legal, she passed only the written test. When the eye test was administered, the examiner said, "Lady, you should not even WALK on the road -- much less drive on it!"

So, while she can "paddle her own canoe" -- to use your phrase -- she cannot see where it is going. Does "Widow Driver" want my wife approaching her grandkids' school crosswalk? I doubt it. -- LONE DRIVER, HILLSBOROUGH, N.C.

DEAR LONE DRIVER: I doubt it, too. That letter certainly touched a nerve with my readers. Mail about it poured in for days. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Widow Driver" prompts my own. What a smug, selfish person! There are many reasons why older people cannot drive -- and the LEAST of them is that they don't know how. The aging process may cause blindness and other serious health problems. Most of my friends who need transportation mourn the loss of their independence. No doubt, there are those who could learn to drive, but please don't lump all senior citizens into one group. -- FLORIDA READER

DEAR FLORIDA READER: You're right. Just because older people don't drive doesn't mean they don't know how. Some suffer from medical conditions that do not permit them to drive, and others are exercising good judgment because they could be a danger to themselves or others. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Thank you for your reasoned response to the mean-spirited woman who complained about non-driving widows. I'm sure there are many reasons for a woman to fall into this category. I once read that high-grade morons make the best drivers, and I hate the assumption that a woman who doesn't drive is an inferior being.

Although I have never driven, I served in the Air Force, raised two children, and have led a useful life using public transportation (taxis, buses -- and yes, occasionally good friends). I have "paddled my own canoe" and have never been a "mooch," always offering to buy gas or treat the driver to lunch. And yes, I have saved a bundle by not owning a car. What's wrong with that? -- DONNA IN MESA, ARIZ.

DEAR DONNA: Not a darn thing, from my perspective. I think ride-sharing is an admirable and environmentally friendly way to go. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I was furious when I read the letter from "Widow Driver." Has the milk of human kindness curdled in that woman's breast? To write such an ugly letter has probably caused a lot of women pain and anguish, thinking they are the widows in the letter.

If the woman needs help to pay for the gasoline, she should TELL the widows. I'm sure they'd help.

I'm signing my name as I do on letters to friends, so that people know who wrote this letter and can call me for rides if they need them. -- KATHY T., LAYTON, UTAH

DEAR KATHY T.: Spoken like a good neighbor. I salute you.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: The rules for dieting during the holidays you printed prompts this letter. I want to tell you and your readers about my weight loss and recovery from compulsive overeating through Overeaters Anonymous.

Before I found OA at age 19, I had failed at every diet I tried. I wasn't able to stop shoving food down my throat. Back then, I could easily consume eight candy bars, a pint of ice cream and half a pizza in one sitting -- then wait for the food to digest so I could go back for more. My emotional state, as you might imagine, was equally tortured. I had suicidal thoughts.

Luckily I found OA which, as many know, is based on Alcoholics Anonymous and has a spiritual component. I walked into my first meeting a confirmed atheist, but I was so desperate that I was ready to try anything. And it worked!

I lost 45 pounds, Abby, but more important, I have kept it off for more than 18 years. One of my closest friends lost 102 pounds through OA and has kept it off for nearly two years. My sponsor, who guides me through the program, lost 250 pounds and has kept it off for 27 years. I'm not making that up.

Incredibly, I don't miss the foods I used to wolf down. I eat nothing sweeter than fresh fruit, and I haven't been plagued by the relentless cravings I used to suffer. OA changed the way I relate emotionally to food. I love life now, and often can't wait to get up in the morning.

Please tell your readers they can find OA in the phone book under Overeaters Anonymous or through directory assistance. -- GRATEFUL IN L.A.

DEAR GRATEFUL: I'm delighted to do it. I hope your letter will inspire others who are waging the battle against compulsive overeating and who are unaware that help is available.

Overeaters Anonymous has more than 8,000 groups in 58 countries. Local chapters are listed in the telephone directory. There are no dues or fees, and no membership lists are kept. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop eating compulsively. There is no shaming, no weighing and no embarrassment. You will be welcomed with open arms into a fellowship of compassionate women and men who share a common problem.

There are chapters in almost every city, but if you have difficulty finding one near you, visit the Web site: www.overeatersanonymous.org, or send a long, stamped, self-addressed envelope to OA World Service Office, P.O. Box 44020, Rio Rancho, NM 87124-4020.

CONFIDENTIAL TO "IMPATIENT TEEN": Although it may seem to you that time is standing still, before you know it, you'll be old enough to date. Henry Van Dyke summed it up nicely in the poem "Time Is":

"Too slow for those who wait,

"Too swift for those who fear,

"Too long for those who grieve,

"Too short for those who rejoice,

"But for those who love,

"Time is eternity."

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets I and II, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: For the last nine years, thousands of your readers have written and called us at the American Optometric Association to apply for free eye care available to low-income working people through VISION USA.

Although this service helps people of all ages, VISION USA 2000 will mark the start of the program's emphasis on aiding children. This focus aligns with VISION USA's commitment to "America's Promise -- The Alliance for Youth," a program headed by retired Gen. Colin Powell and dedicated to helping "at risk" youth.

Each year, more than 7,000 optometrists donate their services to VISION USA. Since the program's beginning, free eye exams have been provided to more than a quarter of a million children and adults. Among those helped was an 8-year-old boy diagnosed with a detached retina. The VISION USA optometrist arranged for eye surgery at no cost, which saved the boy's vision.

An 11-year-old girl who was extremely nearsighted had broken her glasses and her parents couldn't afford new ones. After a new pair was donated, she reported that she could now see the chalkboard even from the back of the classroom. One young girl was thought to have a learning disability, but after an eye exam, it was discovered that she was farsighted and had a high degree of astigmatism. With glasses, she is now able to see, and her schoolwork has improved considerably.

We hope you will alert your readers to the VISION USA 2000 program. Application forms are available now from VISION USA, 243 N. Lindbergh Blvd., St. Louis, MO 63141, or on the AOA Web site (www.aoanet.org) in the "Meet the AOA" section (click on the VISION USA logo). Many libraries now offer free Internet access for persons without a home computer. Completed forms must be postmarked by Jan. 20, 2000.

Abby, we appreciate your support of VISION USA. You are helping many hardworking, deserving people and their children to see better and to have healthy eyes. -- HARVEY P. HANLEN, O.D., PRESIDENT, AMERICAN OPTOMETRIC ASSOCIATION

DEAR DR. HANLEN: I'm pleased to help spread the word.

Readers, from Jan. 3 to Jan. 31, 2000, low-income working people can be screened for eligibility for VISION USA by calling (800) 766-4466. Phone lines will be open weekdays from 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. (CST). Interested persons are encouraged to apply early, in writing, because of the heavy demand for the phone lines in January.

To qualify for the free eye care, persons must: have a job or live in a household where there is one working member; have no health insurance that covers eye examinations; have an income below an established level based on household size; and have had no eye exam within the last two years. Eligibility requirements may vary in some states.

DEAR ABBY: I have recently become aware of my impressionable personality. Growing up as a child I used to help my father roll joints and eventually started smoking pot. During my college years, my roommate was a purse-snatcher and I started snatching purses with him. Just recently, I started a job with a man who cross-dresses. The high heels are ruining my feet and I don't look very good in miniskirts. Please help me. -- SUGGESTIBLE IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR SUGGESTIBLE: You not only have an impressionable personality, you also have a bizarre sense of humor. I suspect you also know someone who writes crank letters to advice columnists.

Your "problem" will become an asset as soon as you start surrounding yourself with people who are involved in constructive activities such as volunteer work. Please don't wait.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)