DEAR ABBY: My husband of 12 years has just informed me that he has invited his former girlfriend to our home for an upcoming weekend. He wants her to see our home and city. He says he just wants to talk with an old friend with whom he has a lot in common and has not seen for 15 years.
Abby, over the last two years, he has talked with this woman about once a month or so. It never occurred to me to be jealous or concerned because I trusted him and he's never given me any reason not to. He would tell me about their conversations if I wasn't in when she called. It was never an issue for me until he invited her to spend the weekend without consulting me.
When I told him I would feel uncomfortable having "Rene" stay with us, especially since she's not a mutual friend of ours, he accused me of being insecure, became extremely angry and was silent for several days. He also told me that if I don't agree to it, then he will see her in secret.
I was shocked and assumed he spoke out of anger. Now I'm not so sure. Have you any thoughts on this? -- ERODED TRUST IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA
DEAR ERODED TRUST: Many. If the situation were reversed and you informed your husband that an old boyfriend he had never met was coming to spend a weekend in your home, I'm sure he would have been shocked and angered that you had acted without first consulting him.
Ordinarly, I wouldn't advise giving in to blackmail. However, since he's threatening to "see her in secret" if you don't agree to accommodate her, put on your most charming face and play hostess of the year. And if you or any of your friends know an attractive, unattached bachelor, invite him over for a lovely family dinner.