DEAR ABBY: Your response to "Hurt in Connecticut," who was bothered that family members didn't attend her choir concert, was a very good one. Family solidarity should be valued; however, it may be expressed in many ways.
I, too, am a "singing grandmother" who was disappointed when none of my children or grandchildren attended a particular performance of the chorale in which my husband and I both sing. May I share the following thought process that helped us soften the disappointment?
1. Consider the many other ways your sons, daughters and grandchildren demonstrate their love and respect throughout the year.
2. Remember that they all have their own activities, goals and commitments, their own social needs and responsibilities.
3. Remember how you felt at their ages. Would you have had time to attend? Would you have changed or abandoned your previous plans?
4. If you do not wish to accept an invitation to a sports event, glee club performance, etc., it's OK to politely decline.
5. Finally, how would you feel if you were not invited to any of those "boring" events?
I am honored when I'm invited to an awards banquet or graduation. (Attendance is limited, you know.) Singing in the chorale is a personal pleasure, which is enhanced whenever my family and/or friends are able to attend the performance. When they cannot, it is not a rejection. In other words, dear "Hurt," count your blessings. I'm sure you'll feel much better. -- CALIFORNIA GRANDMA
DEAR CALIFORNIA GRANDMA: You're singing my song -- as far as I'm concerned you can repeat another chorus.