DEAR ABBY: I'm writing in response to the letter from "A Mom Who Loves Her Son, Anywhere, U.S.A." She arranged counseling for her angry son, and she wrote hoping that publicity will be given to counselors specializing in adolescents. She also mentioned that the apparent reason for her son's unhappiness and anger was that he "felt intimidated and threatened by groups of older students at his large suburban high school."

This behavior has a name. It's called BULLYING, and it victimizes millions of schoolchildren every year. Presumably, if the son had not been bullied, he would not have become so angry and would not have NEEDED counseling. Surely this is a perfect example of why there is a need for "prevention" –- the elimination of bullying.

"Mom" wrote in response to the tragedy in Littleton. Immediately after the tragedy, young people themselves also responded by identifying bullying as a serious problem in our schools.

Students in Hillsboro High School in Nashville, Tenn., created the "I WILL PLEDGE" and urged fellow students to sign the pledge not to mock or bully others who dress, act, look or talk differently. At the time, these student observations and efforts were reported in the media. Now the media no longer look to these young experts for input and advice, but have reverted to reporting and quoting only adult "experts" who appear not to have heard the youth. While gun control and violence in the media certainly must be addressed, the adult policy-makers and administrators do not seem to grasp the urgent importance of dealing with bullying consistently over the long term in a public and publicized way.

Only with raised awareness of the widespread and devastating consequences of bullying will society be able to rid itself of the attitude that teasing and taunting are "just something to put up with." Only with raised awareness will educators and school personnel realize and accept that only they can accomplish zero tolerance of the bullying that occurs daily in classrooms, restrooms, hallways, cafeterias, playgrounds and on school buses. Only with raised awareness will millions of silently suffering children from elementary school through high school be spared this humiliation and pain. –- ANOTHER MOM WHO LOVES HER SON, ANYWHERE, U.S.A.

DEAR MOM: You have expressed it beautifully. Your thinking parallels my own. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I am 12 years old. Starting in the fourth grade, no one in my class really cared for me. A boy named "Tom" and a girl named "Megan" were the exceptions.

After fourth grade, Megan gave in to peer pressure, so Tom and I were the outcasts. At the end of the year, Tom moved -– so I spent the first half of the sixth grade as the lone outcast.

My family and I moved to Iowa about a year ago. I enrolled in school and for the first few days I was accepted. Then one day I said or did something that offended the other kids and my old life came back. I am haunted with the name-calling and teasing and feel like I'm going crazy.

I came home from school crying, and have even mentioned suicide to my mom. The teachers have helped some, and I've spoken to two counselors. Today I thought of having a train hit my arm, with the intention of breaking it, to prove my seriousness. Please help me. -– 12-YEAR-OLD WEIRDIE IN IOWA

DEAR 12-YEAR-OLD: You are not alone with this problem; you have lots of company. Suicide is not the answer, nor is breaking your arm. You need intensive professional counseling immediately. Please ask your mother to write to me so I can advise her more fully. I promise that your situation will improve.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am the computer operations manager for a large company. As the year 2000 draws closer, people are becoming more concerned about the Y2K bug. The following is my response. If you think your readers would find it interesting and/or helpful, please feel free to print it. -- CARL SCHUTTE, CHULA VISTA, CALIF.

DEAR CARL: While I'm confident the computer geniuses will exterminate the Y2K bug, I frequently hear on the news about people going to great lengths to prepare for it, so I'm sure many readers will be interested in your commonsense commentary. Read on:

Y2K HYPE REPORT

A number of people have been asking me about how Y2K will affect them. First, I got out my crystal ball. Then I cobbled together some thoughts on the subject:

99.693 percent of the Y2K HYPE is to get you, the consumer, to buy, buy, buy! (If you spend enough money, you will be OK, etc.)

I'm sure everyone has seen or heard ads telling us to buy bottled water, long-term storable food (enough to last six months at the least), water filters, wind-up radios, flashlights that use LEDs rather than bulbs, guns and ammunition (go NRA!), computer software that will "fix" any Y2K bugs on their computers (as if it would be the end of civilization if the computer fails), and anything else some nutcase can think up. Then, once all of us have mortgaged our homes to buy all this junk, we are urged to take the rest of our money, stocks, bonds and anything else of value we might have and buy (there's that word again!) gold because that will be the only currency accepted on Jan. 1, 2000.

Most of these people are the same ones who claim that when you use your ATM or "rewards" card at the supermarket, the CIA/FBI is tracking your buying habits to produce a "profile" on you.

So much for fantasy. Now for a little reality:

Vital utilities or government agencies have been preparing for Y2K for some time now. Could your power go out? Yes. Will it be out for more than an hour or two. Probably not. (Has your power ever been out before? Didn't you live through the outage?)

Will you receive a bill from VISA for $43,554,238,490.32? Probably not. If you do, don't pay it. Call the bank.

Will the bank lose all your checking and savings balances? Probably not. If they do, you have records, they have records, and it will get fixed.

Remember that most of the services affecting you are someone else's livelihood! These companies aren't going to vanish. Any major problems will get fixed FAST. Minor problems will get fixed a little later -– that's why they are called minor problems.

If you will stay calm, don't panic, use your head and don't do something stupid, everyone will get through Y2K JUST FINE.

DEAR ABBY: I am currently enamored of a lady who is sleeping with her ex-boyfriend, but she has consistently told me that she could fall in love with me if she just didn't have him as extra baggage. I have asked her many times why she still carries on with him, but she just shrugs and says she can't tell me for certain.

I have a tremendous amount of love in my heart for this woman, if she would just give me the benefit of the doubt. What should my next move be? –- ANXIOUSLY UNSURE IN L.A.

DEAR ANXIOUSLY UNSURE: Your next move should be two giant steps backward. As long as she's sleeping with her "ex"-boyfriend, she will not replace him with you –- or anyone else.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I really need your help. The problem is my older sister "Myrtle." She's 60, and our mother is 80. Myrtle has become so negative she's pushing away the people who love her. I don't think she means to alienate everyone, but even our mother says, "I can't stand it anymore!"

I don't think Myrtle realizes she has a choice when it comes to her behavior. She chooses to expect the worst. When we go out to lunch she expects to be unhappy with the quality of the food or the service. And she expects to be upset by anything anyone has to say to her. She never has anything nice to say, but always has a mean remark to make or a negative observation. Mother doesn't want to confront her, and has resorted to silence when it comes to dealing with her. She doesn't talk much when Myrtle is around. When I asked her why, she said, "She doesn't like what I have to say, so I'm not going to say anything." Other members of our extended family have begun noticing Myrtle's negativity and are becoming concerned.

My sister realizes she's a difficult person. More than once she's been heard to say, "I'm just a nasty person." Inside, I say to myself, "Is that what you WANT?" I know Myrtle would be very hurt if our mother said she no longer wanted to go out with her. But I think that's what will happen if her behavior doesn't change. Mom is very upset when she returns after spending time with Myrtle, and the stress isn't good for her blood pressure. I love them both, but I don't know how to help. Can you suggest anything? –- CONCERNED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR CONCERNED: Your sister must be a very unhappy woman to be taking her frustration out on everyone around her. Since you have mentioned that other relatives have BEGUN noticing a change in her, I'm assuming that this isn't a lifelong trait of hers.

Your mother has reacted to Myrtle's negativity by refusing to acknowledge or confront it, and you have done the same. Much could be gained if you and your mother had a frank talk with your sister about the effect her attitude is having on those who love her. She could be suffering from mental illness or depression. A medical and psychiatric evaluation could help her greatly, but first she must admit that she needs help, and accept it. Otherwise nothing will change.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a guy for about six months, and we get along great. He seems to be everything I have ever wanted in a guy.

All of a sudden he said he has never wanted marriage. I told him I couldn't go on without some goal. We then broke up.

Now he's trying to come back and telling me he's STILL not interested in marriage, but he can't live without me. I'm confused and want to get away from him. The one catch is that we work, go to college and sing in choir together. How can I emotionally separate myself from him? –- CONFUSED IN OLATHE, KAN.

DEAR CONFUSED: Keep reminding yourself that the "guy" is immature, and the two of you have very different goals. If it's marriage you're interested in, he's a one-way ticket to nowhere.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets I and II, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)