DEAR ABBY: I am the computer operations manager for a large company. As the year 2000 draws closer, people are becoming more concerned about the Y2K bug. The following is my response. If you think your readers would find it interesting and/or helpful, please feel free to print it. -- CARL SCHUTTE, CHULA VISTA, CALIF.

DEAR CARL: While I'm confident the computer geniuses will exterminate the Y2K bug, I frequently hear on the news about people going to great lengths to prepare for it, so I'm sure many readers will be interested in your commonsense commentary. Read on:

Y2K HYPE REPORT

A number of people have been asking me about how Y2K will affect them. First, I got out my crystal ball. Then I cobbled together some thoughts on the subject:

99.693 percent of the Y2K HYPE is to get you, the consumer, to buy, buy, buy! (If you spend enough money, you will be OK, etc.)

I'm sure everyone has seen or heard ads telling us to buy bottled water, long-term storable food (enough to last six months at the least), water filters, wind-up radios, flashlights that use LEDs rather than bulbs, guns and ammunition (go NRA!), computer software that will "fix" any Y2K bugs on their computers (as if it would be the end of civilization if the computer fails), and anything else some nutcase can think up. Then, once all of us have mortgaged our homes to buy all this junk, we are urged to take the rest of our money, stocks, bonds and anything else of value we might have and buy (there's that word again!) gold because that will be the only currency accepted on Jan. 1, 2000.

Most of these people are the same ones who claim that when you use your ATM or "rewards" card at the supermarket, the CIA/FBI is tracking your buying habits to produce a "profile" on you.

So much for fantasy. Now for a little reality:

Vital utilities or government agencies have been preparing for Y2K for some time now. Could your power go out? Yes. Will it be out for more than an hour or two. Probably not. (Has your power ever been out before? Didn't you live through the outage?)

Will you receive a bill from VISA for $43,554,238,490.32? Probably not. If you do, don't pay it. Call the bank.

Will the bank lose all your checking and savings balances? Probably not. If they do, you have records, they have records, and it will get fixed.

Remember that most of the services affecting you are someone else's livelihood! These companies aren't going to vanish. Any major problems will get fixed FAST. Minor problems will get fixed a little later -– that's why they are called minor problems.

If you will stay calm, don't panic, use your head and don't do something stupid, everyone will get through Y2K JUST FINE.

DEAR ABBY: I am currently enamored of a lady who is sleeping with her ex-boyfriend, but she has consistently told me that she could fall in love with me if she just didn't have him as extra baggage. I have asked her many times why she still carries on with him, but she just shrugs and says she can't tell me for certain.

I have a tremendous amount of love in my heart for this woman, if she would just give me the benefit of the doubt. What should my next move be? –- ANXIOUSLY UNSURE IN L.A.

DEAR ANXIOUSLY UNSURE: Your next move should be two giant steps backward. As long as she's sleeping with her "ex"-boyfriend, she will not replace him with you –- or anyone else.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I really need your help. The problem is my older sister "Myrtle." She's 60, and our mother is 80. Myrtle has become so negative she's pushing away the people who love her. I don't think she means to alienate everyone, but even our mother says, "I can't stand it anymore!"

I don't think Myrtle realizes she has a choice when it comes to her behavior. She chooses to expect the worst. When we go out to lunch she expects to be unhappy with the quality of the food or the service. And she expects to be upset by anything anyone has to say to her. She never has anything nice to say, but always has a mean remark to make or a negative observation. Mother doesn't want to confront her, and has resorted to silence when it comes to dealing with her. She doesn't talk much when Myrtle is around. When I asked her why, she said, "She doesn't like what I have to say, so I'm not going to say anything." Other members of our extended family have begun noticing Myrtle's negativity and are becoming concerned.

My sister realizes she's a difficult person. More than once she's been heard to say, "I'm just a nasty person." Inside, I say to myself, "Is that what you WANT?" I know Myrtle would be very hurt if our mother said she no longer wanted to go out with her. But I think that's what will happen if her behavior doesn't change. Mom is very upset when she returns after spending time with Myrtle, and the stress isn't good for her blood pressure. I love them both, but I don't know how to help. Can you suggest anything? –- CONCERNED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR CONCERNED: Your sister must be a very unhappy woman to be taking her frustration out on everyone around her. Since you have mentioned that other relatives have BEGUN noticing a change in her, I'm assuming that this isn't a lifelong trait of hers.

Your mother has reacted to Myrtle's negativity by refusing to acknowledge or confront it, and you have done the same. Much could be gained if you and your mother had a frank talk with your sister about the effect her attitude is having on those who love her. She could be suffering from mental illness or depression. A medical and psychiatric evaluation could help her greatly, but first she must admit that she needs help, and accept it. Otherwise nothing will change.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a guy for about six months, and we get along great. He seems to be everything I have ever wanted in a guy.

All of a sudden he said he has never wanted marriage. I told him I couldn't go on without some goal. We then broke up.

Now he's trying to come back and telling me he's STILL not interested in marriage, but he can't live without me. I'm confused and want to get away from him. The one catch is that we work, go to college and sing in choir together. How can I emotionally separate myself from him? –- CONFUSED IN OLATHE, KAN.

DEAR CONFUSED: Keep reminding yourself that the "guy" is immature, and the two of you have very different goals. If it's marriage you're interested in, he's a one-way ticket to nowhere.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets I and II, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a plastic surgeon and a very busy one, but I am not too busy to write this letter asking you to PLEASE implore parents (especially mothers) to NEVER -– and I repeat, NEVER -– allow their children to stand up in either the front or back of an automobile while it is in motion.

These last few weeks I have been called upon to make some heartbreaking repairs on some very beautiful little faces that had been pitifully mutilated from accidents that came about in just this way. All it takes is one abrupt stop for a youngster's face to meet a windshield, dashboard or the back of the front seat with such force as to break face bones, knock out teeth and cause disfiguring injuries.

Today I nearly wept while I worked with an eye surgeon for nearly two hours in a vain effort to save the eye of a little boy who had been standing in the back of his mother's car when she slammed on her brakes. (The child's eye was gouged out as he struck the ashtray.) If you will print this, I'll be most grateful. -– AN M.D. IN L.A.

DEAR L.A.M.D.: It's appalling that a child should be maimed for life because of the carelessness of his or her parent. I hope your warning will remind parents of the importance of buckling up their children before putting a key in the ignition.

DEAR ABBY: In response to the person who wrote to suggest that a cellular phone would be a good safety item for hikers and campers who are lost in the woods –- I beg to differ! A cell phone is never to be relied upon to help rescuers find you. There are too many areas that don't have service, or because of the terrain, there isn't any cellular reception.

One should never go into the wilderness without a buddy, or without telling someone where you plan to go and approximately when you will return. Of course, a short orienting course in map and compass skills can also prove to be invaluable.

Children should never be allowed to run ahead down the trail. One never knows what kinds of predators are hungry and waiting for that meal opportunity to come along. And yes, wearing a whistle IS standard operating procedure. –- STAYING FOUND IN COLORADO

DEAR STAYING FOUND: You are not the only reader who was kind enough to point out to me -– the quintessential "city girl" -– that in a wilderness area a cell phone might be useless.

DEAR ABBY: Regarding the woman who asked her husband whether he would save his mother or her in a boating accident, everyone missed the boat in their answers.

He should have said: "I would be devastated at having to make such a choice! I love you both so much I would never let either of you ride in a boat unless you were wearing a life jacket!" –- RICK LOOMIS, SCOTTSDALE, ARIZ.

DEAR RICK: You are an angel with water wings, and you're absolutely right! What wouldn't we give for 20/20 hindsight!

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)