DEAR ABBY: I am a plastic surgeon and a very busy one, but I am not too busy to write this letter asking you to PLEASE implore parents (especially mothers) to NEVER -– and I repeat, NEVER -– allow their children to stand up in either the front or back of an automobile while it is in motion.

These last few weeks I have been called upon to make some heartbreaking repairs on some very beautiful little faces that had been pitifully mutilated from accidents that came about in just this way. All it takes is one abrupt stop for a youngster's face to meet a windshield, dashboard or the back of the front seat with such force as to break face bones, knock out teeth and cause disfiguring injuries.

Today I nearly wept while I worked with an eye surgeon for nearly two hours in a vain effort to save the eye of a little boy who had been standing in the back of his mother's car when she slammed on her brakes. (The child's eye was gouged out as he struck the ashtray.) If you will print this, I'll be most grateful. -– AN M.D. IN L.A.

DEAR L.A.M.D.: It's appalling that a child should be maimed for life because of the carelessness of his or her parent. I hope your warning will remind parents of the importance of buckling up their children before putting a key in the ignition.

DEAR ABBY: In response to the person who wrote to suggest that a cellular phone would be a good safety item for hikers and campers who are lost in the woods –- I beg to differ! A cell phone is never to be relied upon to help rescuers find you. There are too many areas that don't have service, or because of the terrain, there isn't any cellular reception.

One should never go into the wilderness without a buddy, or without telling someone where you plan to go and approximately when you will return. Of course, a short orienting course in map and compass skills can also prove to be invaluable.

Children should never be allowed to run ahead down the trail. One never knows what kinds of predators are hungry and waiting for that meal opportunity to come along. And yes, wearing a whistle IS standard operating procedure. –- STAYING FOUND IN COLORADO

DEAR STAYING FOUND: You are not the only reader who was kind enough to point out to me -– the quintessential "city girl" -– that in a wilderness area a cell phone might be useless.

DEAR ABBY: Regarding the woman who asked her husband whether he would save his mother or her in a boating accident, everyone missed the boat in their answers.

He should have said: "I would be devastated at having to make such a choice! I love you both so much I would never let either of you ride in a boat unless you were wearing a life jacket!" –- RICK LOOMIS, SCOTTSDALE, ARIZ.

DEAR RICK: You are an angel with water wings, and you're absolutely right! What wouldn't we give for 20/20 hindsight!

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: Yesterday I printed a letter from an Ohio mother regarding a previously published letter from a "Snoopy Mom" who proudly described searching through her teen-agers' belongings.

Today I'll share a sample of the mail I received from teens. Hang onto your hats! Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I am a teen-age male who was infuriated when I read the letter in your column from "Snoopy Mom." I'm willing to bet that if she caught her kids going through her personal belongings, she would lecture them until the sun went down. And you know what she'd be then? A hypocrite! As soon as her teen-agers left the room after telling them that snooping is wrong and that they should respect privacy, she'd start snooping again.

I hope God is on her side, because she is going to need His help if they catch her! –- JEFF IN CHICAGO

DEAR ABBY: There is a difference between invading your children's privacy and noticing if they spend their free time building bombs in the garage. Violating their trust by searching their rooms without justification while they are absent is reprehensible.

A child's diary is a child's diary. In it, a child records innermost feelings and what other kids share in confidence. I'll bet "Mom" wouldn't appreciate it if her kids went through her most private things.

I feel sorry for the children of "Snoopy Mom." They have to spend every day with this callous, irrational, distrusting and insensitive person. She never should have had children if this is how she treats them.

I now realize how fortunate I am that my parents are intelligent enough to respect my privacy and, at the same time, steer me in the right direction. –- RATIONAL 15-YEAR-OLD, BAYSIDE, N.Y.

DEAR RATIONAL: Many teens echoed your feelings. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Conspicuously absent from "Snoopy's" letter were comments on the result of her behavior -– the quality of her relationship with her children. It can't be very good, since her children are probably aware of her atrocious lack of trust, respect and common courtesy. I hope knowing every detail of her children's lives now will make up for this mother's being shut out of their lives when they're older –- JEANA L., AGE 19, IN OHIO

DEAR ABBY: I pity people who feel they must violate their children's trust in order to learn more about their lives. I hope parents understand that once your children learn you do not trust them, they in turn will not trust YOU -– and you'll never be able to rebuild what has been so carelessly destroyed.

Some people may call it "concern," but I call it lack of parenting skills. –- REBECCA (AGE 14) IN WASHINGTON

DEAR ABBY: I realize that parents should know what their children are doing. It's their right to make sure they're not getting into trouble with underage drinking, drugs, premarital sex, etc. But everyone is entitled to at least a little bit of privacy. "Snoopy Mom" gave her children none.

Do her children know she's doing this? Unless she spent a lot of time placing things EXACTLY where they were before, I'm sure they've figured it out! -– TRUSTED TEEN IN TACOMA

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for four years, and I consider myself a good wife. I take extra care of my husband when he's sick or in pain. I cook for him and clean the house. I practically wait on him hand and foot.

But during the last two years, he has changed in ways that make me feel suspicious and angry. He spends a lot of time with his ex-wife. He buys her roses, chocolates, candy and jewelry. He's never bought me anything like that at all. He quit being intimate with me two years ago. That's when he started his five-hour visits with his ex-wife.

I have had this nagging suspicion that something more is going on between him and his ex. I can't ask him if he's cheating on me. He has a very short fuse. He yells, swears and threatens me. I lost my sense of being assertive after our first year of marriage.

If he doesn't love me, why won't he tell me? Whatever's going on with him has put a terrible strain on my heart. Abby, please help! -– CONFUSED IN SACRAMENTO

DEAR CONFUSED: The relationship you are describing between yourself and your husband is not a marriage; it's indentured servitude. You have been such a good cook, nurse and housekeeper -- and completely nonassertive since the first year of your marriage -- that he doesn't want to lose those services.

When a man sees a woman regularly, and buys her candy, flowers and jewelry, it's safe to assume that something is up. After two years, you have already tolerated more than many women would. Bite the bullet and ask him what's going on with his ex-wife. If he gets ugly again, be ready with an ultimatum, and have his bags packed when you do it.

DEAR ABBY: When I read the letter from "Snoopy Mom," who boasted about how she read her children's diaries, eavesdropped on their telephone calls and searched their belongings, I felt truly sorry for her.

My children, now 27 and 24, never gave me a reason to doubt them. Their belongings, in my opinion, were theirs -– and not for my perusing. Both were very active from early childhood throughout college. Neither ever abused their curfews.

My son was a three-time college All-American -- the first in the history of his college. My daughter was president of her college class. Both graduated, and today enjoy successful careers.

I told them early on that they could enjoy life as long as they did it responsibly. The minute they demonstrated to me that they were not capable of that, their lives would have changed dramatically. I'm glad I never had to make that change! -– PROUD MOM IN OHIO

DEAR PROUD MOM: As I pointed out to "Snoopy Mom," if parents have a legitimate reason to question their child's honesty, it's only common sense to check. However, if teens have proven by their actions that they can be trusted, nosiness is not a legitimate reason to conduct a search.

Predictably, I received bushels of heartfelt letters from teens who were outraged by "Snoopy Mom's" letter. Tomorrow, we'll hear what they had to say.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)