DEAR ABBY: Our national flag, "Old Glory," does not get the respect today that it deserves. The enclosed piece titled "Remember Me?" may remind our citizens to respect it and honor those who have died in battle so that "Old Glory" could continue to fly over the land of the free. Please print it again. -- CLAY MATTHEWS, WORLD WAR II VETERAN, RIO LINDA, CALIF.

DEAR CLAY: Thank you for reminding me of this moving piece. Today is Flag Day, and I'm reprinting it to remind American citizens to respect our national flag, and in turn, honor our veterans who bravely fought in days past, and our servicemen and women taking part in the Kosovo operations even now.

REMEMBER ME?

by David C. Graham

Hello. Remember me? Some people call me Old Glory, others call me the Star-Spangled Banner, but whatever they call me, I am your flag, the flag of the United States of America.

Something has been bothering me, so I thought I might talk it over with you -- because it is about you and me.

I remember some time ago, people would line up on both sides of the street to watch the parade, and naturally I was leading every one, proudly waving in the breeze.

When your daddy saw me coming, he immediately removed his hat and placed it against his left shoulder so that his hand was directly over his heart -- remember?

And you, I remember, were standing there, straight as a soldier. You didn't have a hat, but you were giving the right salute. Remember your little sister? Not to be outdone, she was saluting the same as you with her right hand over her heart -- remember?

What happened? I'm still the same old flag. Oh, I've added a few more stars since you were a boy, and a lot more blood has been shed since those parades of long ago.

But now, somehow, I don't feel as proud as I used to feel. When I come down your street, you just stand there with your hands in your pockets. You may give me a small glance, and then you look away. I see children running around you shouting; they don't seem to know who I am.

I saw one man take his hat off, then he looked around, and when he didn't see anybody else take off their hat, he quickly put his on again.

Is it a sin to be patriotic today? Have you forgotten what I stand for, and where I have been? Anzio, Guadalcanal, Korea and Vietnam!

Take a look at the memorial honor rolls, and see the names of those patriotic Americans who gave their lives to keep this republic free. When you salute me, you are actually saluting them.

Well, it won't be long until I'll be coming down your street again. So when you see me, please stand straight and place your hand over your heart, and I'll know that you remembered. I'll salute you by waving back!

DEAR ABBY: I'm engaged to be married during the summer of 2000. Most of our plans are working out well -- except for one.

I don't believe in the Bible, or the devil or God -- and my fiance believes there is "something" out there, but not necessarily a god. So the question is, if a clergyman can't marry us, who could that won't make us say or do anything "religious"? -- FRUSTRATED IN BREMERTON, WASH.

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Congratulations on your upcoming marriage. Since you prefer not to have a religious ceremony, enlist the services of a justice of the peace or a judge.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My purpose in writing to you is to ask for your assistance in recognizing all the citizens across our country who take time away from their work and, in some instances, their families, to serve as jurors. They may serve in criminal cases ranging from misdemeanors to death penalty trials, and in civil trials from dog-bite cases to complex business litigation. It's an often difficult and sometimes thankless task, but we in the courts want people who serve as jurors to know how much their participation means to the judges, attorneys and parties in these trials, and how vital each individual juror is to the success of the whole system.

We believe a sense of humor is always helpful in surviving one's "tour of duty." With that in mind, I'd like to dedicate this poem by one of our court's staff to all jurors -- past, present and future:

A JUROR'S PRAYER

I sat around for half a day before they called my name,

And now I'm in the jury box and wondering why I came.

It's 2:00 p.m., I ate too much, and now I'm on the nod,

Oh please, just help me stay awake 'til 5:00 o'clock, dear God.

Thanks, Abby, for helping us spread the word. -- ALAN SLATER, JURY COMMISSIONER, SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA, COUNTY OF ORANGE

DEAR ALAN: I'm pleased to publicize your message. I'm certain that anyone who has ever sat on a jury will identify with your "Juror's Prayer." Kudos to those who perform their civic duty despite the disruption in their daily lives. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I have never written to you before. Yesterday, I completed jury duty, having served six days. I had the honor to serve on the jury of a murder trial. On a positive note, my fellow jurors and I were treated very well. Every effort was made to keep us comfortable. The judge was fair and impartial. The experience was interesting and educational, and I was proud to be part of the American judicial system.

On the negative side, I was extremely disappointed and quite disgusted with the attitudes of virtually everyone outside the court. The first day, about 200 potential jurors showed up. I overheard numerous conversations of people scheming to get dismissed. Once the jury was selected, most people asked why I didn't try to get out of it. My boss (I work full time) was upset and worried that things wouldn't get done. My co-workers were upset they would have to fill in while I was out. All but a few members of my family seemed annoyed and worried about how my jury duty would inconvenience my spouse and my children. All this when the defendant's future was at stake.

I didn't mind the inconvenience because I truly believe it is my duty and honor to serve when called to do so.

It troubles me that so many "average" people try to get out of serving jury duty. I was made to feel almost ashamed that I WANTED to serve. If I don't do it, who is left to serve? Being called to jury duty is an honor and privilege. More Americans should respond to it as such, and show respect to those who serve. -- FRUSTRATED JUROR, UPSTATE N.Y.

DEAR FRUSTRATED: I hope that at least one person who reads your letter (and preferably 12) decides not to shrink his or her responsibility when the summons arrives. In this country, we're supposed to be tried by a jury of our peers -- and the only way to guarantee that is for all of us to shoulder our fair share of the responsibility when called upon.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a performer who makes most of her living as a children's entertainer. Along the way I have also paid some dues as a waitress. I would like to offer some advice to the restaurant owner who has occasional problems with adults who fail to control their children and who then become offended when they are asked to do so.

My experience is that all customers, adults as well as children, respond best to an idea when it is presented as a benefit to them. When children nag me for a balloon animal before it is their turn to receive one, I often explain: "You know, I can't remember things very well, and if you tell me what you want now, you'll have to tell me over and over again because I'm so forgetful. But if you wait until it's your turn to get a balloon, then you'll need to tell me only once!"

It's hilarious, but it works. The children calm right down, and I'm able to make everyone a balloon animal in an enjoyable setting.

Something else I have observed is that it's important to establish the rules of proper behavior up front, and then stick to your rules. The restaurant owner should post a sign near the entrance that says something like this: "We love your children and they are welcome in our establishment. For their safety and the comfort of other patrons, we ask that they remain in their seats throughout your visit, unless accompanied by an adult."

If the parents don't respond positively to this very thoughtful reminder and do nothing to control their children, then they should be asked to leave -- because they are not worth the irritation to your good customers, or the possible lawsuits should their children be injured. In my business, I have found it's never a mistake to make and enforce a rule that makes things pleasant for the majority and allows me to do my best work. -- THE GOOD FAIRY ELFREDA, NASHVILLE, TENN.

DEAR ELFREDA: There's plenty of food for thought in your letter. Small children have short attention spans and often become restless and irritable when required to sit still in adult company for long periods of time. The wise parent plans ahead for this by bringing along a coloring book or favorite toy so the child won't be bored during long spans of adult conversation.

DEAR ABBY: After reading the letter from "Still Hurting," we had to write. The letter concerned a woman who witnessed a mother embarrass her son by asking him if he was "stupid or dumb or both" while they were in a store.

Abby, my mother was very embarrassed because she thought it was referring to HER. Because of that letter, we now have a deal with our mother. Whenever her temper starts to get out of hand, we let her know before she says anything hurtful to us. We're proud to say our mother has not said anything hurtful since that letter ran.

Thank you for pointing out to our mother that words can cause lasting scars. It changed her. Now we get hugs, kisses and no more hurtful words. -- HAPPIER KIDS IN FRESNO, CALIF.

DEAR HAPPIER KIDS: I'm pleased that the letter motivated your mother to stop her verbal abuse. It takes great self-discipline to change the habits of a lifetime, and I applaud her for it.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)