DEAR ABBY: I am a mature, 21-year-old college student who has a tattoo. (Gasp!) I read your column religiously and was infuriated with "Worried Parents in Washington." Getting a tattoo does not make you a bad person, a criminal or more likely to commit a crime. I have never even been pulled over for speeding. My friends with tattoos have never been in trouble with the law either, nor have they any experience with drugs. Tattooing is a form of expression, and becoming more and more commonplace with young people. The art has been around for thousands of years.

I found the comment, "People with tattoos are usually individuals who have been or still are in prison, and tattoos are not reflective of our cultural background," particularly offensive. "Worried Parents" should allow their daughter to make her own decision to keep or remove her tattoo. It does not change the person she is or will be. They should back off and allow her to make her own choices and live with the aftermath. -- JENNIFER L. LEWIS, MARYVILLE, ILL.

DEAR JENNIFER: I wish you hadn't taken offense so quickly and had reread the sentence that bothered you. It read: "We discussed it with her and explained that in OUR country, people with tattoos are usually individuals who have been or still are in prison, and that tattoos are not reflective of OUR cultural background." In other words, they were raised in another culture where tattoos are less common and less accepted than they have become in this country. I agree that the tattoo will not change the daughter as a person.

The letter from "Worried Parents" needled more than a few readers. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I was shocked at the attitude of "Worried Parents in Washington." All my sister's friends at an all-girl Catholic school have tattoos, and they come from very high-class backgrounds.

Abby, those people can't control their daughter's entire life. Maybe if they had let her have a little more freedom when she was younger, this wouldn't have happened. -- JULIE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR JULIE: We don't know whether the girl and her parents are in the U.S.A. permanently, or whether they plan to return to their country of origin in the next few years. In some countries, parents CAN control their daughters' entire lives.

DEAR ABBY: When I was 13, I worked in a beauty supply store. All of the wonderful women who worked there had tattoos. None had been in prison. During college, I worked in a Beverly Hills skin-care salon. I saw lots of naked bodies -- rich, famous and otherwise. You wouldn't believe how many had little hidden tattoos. Not just rock stars and actors. Some were producers, writers, accountants, civil engineers, etc.

My favorite "tattooism": The difference between people with tattoos and people without is people who have them don't care if you don't have one. -- THREE TATTOOS SO FAR

DEAR THREE TATTOOS: I am aware that people in many professions sport tattoos, including doctors, nurses, lawyers and college professors. For many, their tattoos have a deeply personal meaning. A reader from Berkeley informed me that in some cultures, the meaning can be spiritual or religious as well.

However, I would caution those who are contemplating permanent body art to think twice about it -- because tattoos are harder to get rid of than they are to get.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Many years ago, my wife, our 2-year-old daughter and I went camping in a state park in upper Michigan. We were 15 miles from any town, camped near a nice little lake. One afternoon, I decided to walk in the woods and took my binoculars along. In just a few minutes I looked around and saw nothing but trees! I realized I was lost. Looking through my binocs, I located a patch of white, realized it was our laundry on the line and followed it back. But I had felt the panic of being disoriented.

A family with three small girls arrived at a camp in the mountains. Immediately, the youngest ran into the woods and others played around. Suddenly, they realized the youngest was missing and began searching and calling. No luck. She was out of earshot. Night fell and still no sign. About 100 rescuers searched into the night. The following morning, they found her under a log, very cold and tired. Think of the anguish of the parents and the cost of a search party!

Small children should have a whistle tied around their necks when they go on picnics and camping. That way, they can blow until rescued. There are many kinds of communication devices on the market that anyone going into the mountains, winter or summer, can purchase. Not long ago I read about a fellow caught in an avalanche who was able to direct rescuers to him because he had a walkie-talkie. A word to the wise ... WM. T. ELLIOTT, IRVINE, CALIF.

DEAR WM. T. ELLIOTT: The suggestion to supply a whistle for small children who are being taken camping is a good one -- and could avert many anxious moments. As to the reminder that high-tech devices can be lifesavers for adults going into wildlife recreational areas, one only has to recall the stranded climbers who have been saved because they remembered to bring along cell phones to know that they are great insurance.

DEAR ABBY: You had a letter in your column a couple of months ago from Kristy Hawkins, who was keeping a journal of her child's life. I do the same thing.

Abby, you heartily endorsed the idea, but you wrote that you were passing her idea along to "mothers" everywhere. I know you meant no slight, but the word should have been "parents." Fathers are everywhere in the lives of their children these days. I see them at school, sports, church, playing in the yard, and even at Girl Scout meetings.

I realize it is still common for the father to work to support the family while the mother cares for the little ones, but fathers play an important role in rearing children. If we are ever going to stamp out discrimination, we must be conscious of our own biases and stop giving only half the parenting partnership all the credit. -- FRUSTRATED FATHER IN PORTSMOUTH, R.I.

DEAR FRUSTRATED FATHER: You are right, of course. It was a slip of the pen, and I'll take my lashes with the wet noodle.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a young woman who, along with my friends, has run into many different men -- and many different styles of dating. We have compared notes, and decided that it's time to share some basic "dating guidelines" for the men out there:

1. Whoever asks (male or female), pays. Whoever pays makes the plans.

2. If you really like a girl and are broke, don't ask her to share costs -- and if she offers money, refuse. If she's worth your emotional investment, she'll be happy going to free concerts, picnics, etc.

3. A guy who asks for money to help with the date before he's asked you to be his girlfriend (usually around three months) is usually just "marking time" and looking for a fling until someone he really likes comes along. And even if you're going steady, don't assume she'll share the expenses from then on.

4. Meet her where it's convenient for her the first few dates, and after that, pick her up from work or her place. Open doors, help her with her coat, etc.

5. Don't whine and sulk if she won't sleep with you right away. It's truly unattractive, and if you're dating her just for sex, and that's obviously not what she's in it for -- be nice, break it off and say goodbye.

6. Call several days ahead to ask, then call to re-confirm the night before.

These are the basics, Abby. If your readers have anything else to add, we're open to suggestions. -- 20-SOMETHING IN L.A.

DEAR 20-SOMETHING: Your contemporary rules for dating may raise a few eyebrows, but they seem sensible to me. Readers? Anything you'd like to add?

DEAR ABBY: In about a month, my sister "Jane" and her husband, "Dick," are going to Hawaii for a vacation. Dick enjoys the nude beaches, but Jane does not -- and she has gotten a lot of verbal abuse about it.

For the entire 32 years of their marriage, Dick has verbally abused my sister because of her weight. Jane has tried every diet known to man, and then some. Her self-esteem is low. He takes every dime he makes, and refuses to allow her to buy clothing when her weight is up. She works in the public sector and feels terrible because she can't dress as well as her co-workers.

During the last conversation I had with her, she said, "Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the vacation, but I just can't go nude. And Dick says he'll cut my bathing suit off me if I refuse. I don't know what to do."

Of course, Dick has never had a weight problem and has always looked like he walked out of GQ.

Abby, could you please offer some suggestions? I know Dick needs counseling, but that is out. -- JANE'S SISTER

DEAR JANE'S SISTER: Dick doesn't need counseling as much as your sister does. Jane needs to understand why she has tolerated for 32 years the kind of treatment you have described, and to become strong enough to demand the kind of respect she deserves from the insensitive man she married. Until she does that, nothing will change.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets I and II, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)