DEAR ABBY: My problem concerns my roommate. We are both third-year college students who transferred to a university together last summer. Because we moved here together, there was no urgency to go out and make new friends. However, I have begun joining clubs and getting involved with church on my own.

My roommate doesn't say anything when I go out with my new friends, but she's obviously miffed when I return. If I try to get her involved, she clings to me and makes fun of the other people in the group. She doesn't enjoy doing many of the things I do, and acts sullen and bored when I include her but gets upset if I don't.

Our lease will expire in August, and we recently received a letter asking whether or not we would be renewing. Both of us agreed that we wouldn't live here next year because it's too expensive, so she keeps asking when I want to go apartment hunting. Abby, I have already been looking secretly, and I don't know how to tell her I prefer not to live with her anymore. I still consider her a friend, and I don't want to hurt her.

What should I do? Another friend tells me that "the devil I know is better than the one I don't know," and that I should just live with my current roommate again next year. -- IN A BIND IN BOSTON

DEAR IN A BIND: Part of the learning experience in going away to school is meeting new people and adjusting to new situations. Since you are no longer comfortable living with your present roommate, she must be told ASAP that you intend to make other arrangements. That will give her plenty of time to find comfortable living quarters for herself.

Be prepared to stand firm, because if she's as dependent as you have described, she'll try to argue and maneuver you into changing your mind. Firmly stress that you still want to be her friend, but that it's important that you both grow and spread your wings during your senior year of college.

DEAR ABBY: May I remind people that there are single fathers who care for their children? Most people seem to think that only mothers have custody of young children. Believe me, a number of single fathers are raising their children.

A few years ago, I took my 20-month-old daughter into the men's room to change her diaper. On the way in, I saw a woman look at me in shock and horror that I was taking a baby girl into the men's room.

Another customer had a different reaction. She said, "Isn't that sweet! Her father is taking care of her." I wanted to shout: "No, it's not sweet. She is my daughter and I love her. I am not trying to be 'sweet.' I am trying to take care of her and raise her with morals, feelings for others, and the ability to stand on her own two feet someday and contribute to society."

Abby, the bottom line is people should be aware that there are able single fathers as well as single mothers. -- DOUGLAS L. GAYNOR IN VIRGINIA BEACH, VA.

DEAR DOUGLAS: In case anyone has forgotten -- I'm printing your reminder. I salute you.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I had to respond to the woman who was uncomfortable with the thought of visiting a nude beach after having a mastectomy. I run a travel agency specializing in nudist destinations, and have seen literally thousands of nude people. I feel qualified to tell "Survivor" she is not alone.

I have seen people of all ages, shapes and sizes, colors, heights and weights. Most of them look like the ordinary folks you see at church or the grocery store. However, I have also seen people with surgical scars, stretch marks, missing arms or legs, piercings, tattoos, wheelchairs -- and lots of mastectomies. I had spinal surgery as a child, which left me with a large scar on my back. If people don't like the scar, they don't have to look.

It's not a beauty contest. Nudists are among the friendliest, most accepting people in the world. They don't judge others by their looks. Please tell "Survivor" to think of her mastectomy as a battle scar, the result of her war with cancer. It shows she won. She should enjoy the freedom and the appreciation of her husband, who sounds like a real gem. -- TRAVELING AU NATUREL, LAND O'LAKES, FLA.

DEAR AU NATUREL: Although some readers were shocked that I didn't take "Survivor's" husband to task for even suggesting a trip to a nude beach, I'm pleased that by far the majority of the comments have been positive. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, I had to have one of my feet amputated. To have a body part voluntarily amputated is one of the hardest choices I have ever had to face. It left me depressed and with a horrible body image. My friends and family were supportive, but there was still a part of me that felt very damaged.

Fortunately, I went to Australia to visit relatives and decided to make a trip to a nude beach. I was apprehensive at first, as my prosthesis was still in a transitional state and stuck out like a sore thumb. No one focused on my impairments, and I was welcomed as just another person at the beach, which meant more to me than any kind words or counseling had before.

My advice to "Survivor" is, go to the beaches, and when you feel comfortable, join the crowd in nudity. Unlike here in the states, the "perfect body" is not important. The freedom of being yourself, and being free, will mean a lot to you. Good luck, and congratulations on your continued good health. -- FEELING BETTER ABOUT MYSELF IN MINNEAPOLIS

DEAR FEELING BETTER: I'm sure "Survivor" will appreciate your input. Thank you for a terrific letter. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: About 10 years ago, when I was in my early 30s, I went to a nude beach in Vancouver, Canada. It was a perfect, sultry summer Sunday, when one truly thanks the Lord for being alive. I was sunbathing in lazy bliss when out of the sun's glare a couple appeared. They were strolling along holding hands, laughing and talking, their love and happiness apparent.

As they drew closer, I realized the woman had had a breast removed. She was probably in her mid-40s, a truly beautiful woman, glowing in the sun. I'll never forget her. Her femininity wasn't diminished in any way. Her head was held high and her carriage was mesmerizing. She seemed proud and strong as a warrior, who had merely cut off a breast to be a better archer. It made a lasting impression on me. She taught me a lot that day about being a woman, about life and love. I'll never forget the sun goddess with only one breast. -- AN ADMIRER IN SAN FRANCISCO

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I just about flipped at the insensitivity of the husband who suggested that he and his wife -- a breast cancer survivor -- go to the nude beaches on the Riviera.

My story is similar. I've been happily married to a wonderful man for more than 31 years. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1997, followed by surgery (mastectomy), nine months of chemotherapy and reconstruction. I am the proud owner of a very real-looking implant breast and nipple.

The emotions and adjustments are sometimes overwhelming -- especially the hair loss and chemo. "Survivor" does NOT have a problem. She appears to be very positive in her attitude about the future, and very normal in her feelings about being uncomfortable topless. In fact, I'm sure this woman's concerns would strike a similar chord in the hearts and minds of every woman who has suffered through the battle with breast cancer.

I have been on the beach with a lot of topless European women. Most of them would look better with an attractive suit to cover them. -- A FAN IN CINCINNATI

DEAR FAN: I, too, was sure that the concerns of the "Survivor in San Francisco" would resonate with other breast cancer survivors. And that is why I tried to reassure her. I have a basket full of letters from readers who felt compelled to respond. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Until you have personally experienced all the challenges of breast cancer, self-image being one, you cannot fully understand all it encompasses.

To the woman whose husband of 21 years suggested visiting nude beaches together while vacationing in France, I say: "No, YOU don't have the problem -- your husband does. If your husband doesn't understand your reservations, both of you should talk to your physician."

By the way, Abby, since breast cancer occurs in both men and women, I wonder how her husband would feel if the tables were reversed. -- SURVIVOR IN LEHIGH VALLEY, PA.

DEAR SURVIVOR: I hesitate to say that either the husband or wife has a "problem." As I said in my answer, it's possible that the husband still regards his wife as a beautiful woman, and he no longer "sees" her mastectomy scars. Or, he could be so happy to still have her to love and to share a future with, her scars are not important to him. However, I'm printing your letter so "Survivor in S.F." will know others support her regardless of what she decides to do on her European vacation. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Thank God I don't have to deal with a clod like her husband. He cannot be that stupid; it must be deliberate indifference to her feelings.

If her husband had a testicle missing, how do you think he would have reacted to her suggesting the same thing? Are you really so naive, Abby? Your answer left much to be desired. -- KELLY IN SANTA ANA, CALIF.

DEAR KELLY: I can't speak for the husband. However, I have it on good authority from one of my staff that when she visited a nude beach some years ago, while looking up from her book she happened to notice at eye level a man with only one testicle. As I stated in my answer, you see everything at nude beaches.

Not everyone reacted negatively to the idea of a breast cancer survivor visiting a nude beach. Some were wonderfully supportive. And that will be my column for tomorrow.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Booklets, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)