DEAR ABBY: I'm a desk clerk at a hotel in Arizona, and I get hit on a lot. I think the reason probably is that I do not wear a traditional gold wedding band. I am not into diamonds and gold. My husband and I prefer simple silver and turquoise rings.
You would not believe how many rude comments I receive about my ring. When I pointed to my ring and told one man I was married, he said in an exasperated tone, "But that's not a wedding ring!" Says who? I wanted to sock him.
A co-worker referred to my husband as "your husband, your boyfriend -- whatever." I said, "Husband! We're married." He said, "Well, where's your wedding ring?"
Abby, women are the worst. Once I mention I am married, I see their eyes glance to see what kind of "rock" I have, and a mixed expression of revulsion, pity and disbelief washes over their faces. It makes me feel uncomfortable and angry. Sometimes I feel like hiding my hands to avoid this treatment. Why should I have to feel ashamed of my wedding ring?
I have considered trading in our silver and turquoise rings just to please the crowd. Abby, short of toting my wedding certificate around in my backpack, what can I do to fend off this rudeness? -- MARRIED (REALLY!) IN ARIZONA
DEAR MARRIED (REALLY!): There is nothing you can do to curb the rudeness and thoughtlessness of co-workers and hotel guests, but don't let their comments get to you.
I see no reason why you should replace the ring your husband placed on your finger. Nor should you have to carry around a copy of your marriage certificate. A better way to get your message across would be to keep a small, framed wedding photo nearby to present when words fail you.