DEAR ABBY: The last time you mentioned SPAY/USA in your column, we received about 15,000 telephone calls in three weeks. SPAY/USA helps people locate veterinarians or programs with affordable spay-neuter services for cats and dogs. Because you printed the letter in the winter, before litter season, the births of several hundred thousand unwanted pups and kittens were prevented. Most of them would have ended up on the streets or in shelters -- not in permanent homes.

During 1999 we are making a special effort to reach people who are still resisting, still procrastinating, still not making the time or effort to get their cats and dogs to the vet to be spayed/neutered and vaccinated. Abby, if we can reach that hard-core 1 percent of pet owners, we can prevent the killing of 6 million surplus cats and dogs in this country.

Our campaign is called "Start Targeting One-Percenters" (S.T.O.P.). Readers who want to help -- or who have cats or dogs to "fix" -- can call (800) 248-SPAY (7729). Our phone counselors will give them information on the nearest participating vet, clinic or program. Thank you, Abby, for caring. -- ESTHER MECHLER, SPAY/USA, A PROGRAM OF THE PET-SAVERS FOUNDATION

DEAR ESTHER: The fact that only 1 percent of irresponsible pet owners are the cause of the destruction of 6 million innocent animals is certain to leave animal lovers aghast. Dogs and cats that are not intended for breeding should be spayed or neutered. This eliminates the risk of ovarian or testicular cancer, reduces the risk of prostate disorders, and eliminates the urge for the pet to wander and "mark its territory." Readers, spring is upon us, and with it, thousands of unwanted litters -- so please don't delay getting your pets spayed or neutered.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing regarding the letter in your column from the guy who complained about the freeloading guest. He and his roommates might want to seek the advice of a lawyer before taking any action.

I found myself in a similar situation and decided to get legal advice before changing the locks, etc. I was shocked to find that according to the law, my unwanted guest was now my "tenant" and I her "landlord." In order to get her out, I would be required to take her to court and evict her -- a 60-day process -- during which time she could remain in my home, placing me and my possessions at risk!

Another option my lawyer suggested was that I move out, and let my landlord evict her. Of course, that would mean I'd lose my deposit, ruin my credit, and leave myself open to a lawsuit from my landlord.

It took a month, but I tricked her into moving. I quit buying food, blocked all but local calls on my phone and disconnected the cable TV. I told her I had to move because my landlord had sold the house. I packed everything I own, but moved only a few of the valuables for safekeeping.

We now have a new rule at our house -- no temporary houseguests. -- BEEN THERE IN SPRINGFIELD, MO.

DEAR BEEN THERE: Your letter, viewed from a legal perspective, is certainly an eye-opener. After reading it, many hospitable souls may be tempted to roll up their welcome mats.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I was shocked by how you missed the boat regarding "Ex-Mistress in Chicago's" purported plea for forgiveness for her adultery. "Ex-Mistress" went to great lengths to point out how she was lied to and strung along, and how she didn't get what she wanted out of the affair, before she finally offered a clearly insincere apology to the wife of her ex-lover for the pain caused by the wife finding out about the affair.

Infidelity is wrong, Abby. It's not wrong because it didn't give the cheater what she wanted, or because a wronged spouse found out about it. It's the act itself that's wrong. The pain caused to the innocent parties involved, or the perpetrator's disappointment with the results, is merely a foreseeable byproduct of this wrong.

You had an opportunity to point this out to "Ex-Mistress" and the many morally challenged dimwits like her, and you missed it. -- DAVE IN EUGENE, ORE.

DEAR DAVE: Everybody knows that infidelity is wrong. If it hadn't been occurring since before Moses climbed Mount Sinai, it wouldn't have been mentioned in the Ten Commandments. That it's still going on today should be a clue that many people consider themselves "exceptions" to the rule. Condemning infidelity as "wrong" will turn fewer people from infidelity than illustrating for them that it does not work. "Ex-Mistress in Chicago's" letter was a clear example. Read on for another:

DEAR ABBY: I just read the letter from the woman who fell into the trap of a married man. It happened to me, too. I was 21 and recovering from a very difficult divorce, trying to adjust to the fact I'd be raising a child alone. I felt I'd never be happy again, when I was introduced to "John."

John was brilliant, outgoing, handsome and very wealthy. He wined and dined me like I never dreamed possible. A couple of weeks after meeting me, he flew his private jet to Florida where I was visiting my parents and took me to a fabulous restaurant. I fell head over heels. He surprised me with a beautiful diamond bracelet for my birthday and made countless promises over the months. He kept the fact he was married a secret. By the time I found out, I was too much in love to break it off. We lived in different states, so it was easy for him to keep things hidden.

One night, I invited "Cynthia," one of my girlfriends, to join us for dinner. We had a great time, and enjoyed many other outings together with her and her boyfriend. This lasted a year and a half, until things with John began to fall apart. Last weekend I found out that Cynthia had gone away skiing with John. My heart is crushed. I've never been so hurt in my life. I love John more than life itself, but apparently he doesn't feel the same. I'm in tears as I type this, Abby.

Please print this so maybe they'll read it and see the damage they have caused. Please help me. -- DROWNING IN TEARS

DEAR DROWNING: The damage they have caused you? If you think you're hurting, imagine how John's wife must feel as the wife of a serial philanderer. You're learning a tough lesson, my dear. Your affair with John reminds me of the frog who was asked by a scorpion to ferry it across the river on its back. "No," the frog replied. "If I take you, you'll sting me and I'll die." The scorpion swore a solemn oath that he would not sting, so the frog started to take him across the river. When they reached the middle, the scorpion stung the frog viciously. "Why did you sting me?" cried the dying frog. "Now we'll both die." The scorpion replied, "It's my nature!"

The next time you find out a man is married, do the intelligent thing: Disengage your heart and run in the opposite direction.

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DEAR ABBY: I am 31 years old and have been healthy all my life -- or so I thought.

I have annual physical examinations and PAP smears. I trusted my doctor to let me know about any abnormal test results and thought that "No news is good news." Well, I don't think that way anymore.

Last April, I had a physical, and because I heard nothing from my doctor, I assumed everything was OK. However, in July, I had a minor problem and called for an appointment. My regular doctor couldn't take me so I was seen by another doctor in the same group.

The new doctor asked why I hadn't returned for my "pinch biopsy." I was startled -- remember: No news is good news. My doctor had failed to notify me that my PAP smear showed level-three dysplastic cells on my cervix. It seems that for three years, my PAP smears had shown precancerous cells, but the test results had been simply filed in my chart and nothing was said to me about them!

I was frightened and angry that this had slipped by my doctor. What is the annual exam for, if not to catch such things at an early stage?

Biopsies were done the next day and surgery was scheduled for two weeks later. Part of my cervix was removed to eliminate the precancerous cells, but the new doctor warned me that the cells may appear again in the future. He said I would PROBABLY be able to get pregnant and carry a baby to term.

Abby, I wonder what would have happened to me had I not had that minor problem that caused me to see another doctor? Would my regular doctor have caught the oversight at some point or would the reports have remained unnoticed in my file? His negligence could have cost me my life!

I now have a new doctor.

Abby, please warn your readers not to buy into the adage that no news is good news and to call their doctors for test results. Ignorance of the results could cost a life while knowledge of them could literally save one. -- LUCKY IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR LUCKY: You are indeed fortunate that your condition was discovered before it became life-threatening.

In these days of managed medical care, doctors are seeing far more patients than they used to -- and many of them expect their patients to be more sophisticated and responsible about their health than a generation ago. And part of that means shouldering the responsibility to CALL THE DOCTOR for test results instead of waiting to be notified. Your letter illustrates how important it is to take the initiative.

CONFIDENTIAL TO MY READERS: Easter will soon be here, and although I've cautioned you before, I must caution you again: If you plan to surprise a child with a live rabbit, baby duck or chick, please consider that living creatures need proper care. Unless you are absolutely certain that the little creature will receive the care it needs to survive, please give a stuffed bird or animal instead. Regardless of how cute baby animals are, they should not be given to children on impulse.

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