DEAR ABBY: Last March, I received a $400 phone bill that included $260 in adult entertainment calls made by my 10-year-old daughter and 11-year-old niece. At first, the phone company refused to adjust the bill, then it gave me credit for half. After five months of fighting with the long-distance phone company, and countless phone calls, I finally got the whole amount credited to my account.

In the state of Oregon, the public utility commission regulates telecommunications. There is a statute that says, "Any obligation that may have arisen from the dialing of a pay-per-call is void and unenforceable if made by an unemancipated child under 18 years of age."

Every state has its own regulations, but a call to your state's public utility commissioner should clarify whether people have to pay the bill in these circumstances. People can also contact the Federal Communications Commission in Washington, D.C.

The phone company knows it is supposed to write off the charges of such calls made by children. Unfortunately, only a small percentage of parents dispute their bill -- even though this is a frequent occurrence. I hope my letter helps other parents. -- VICTORIOUS IN OREGON

DEAR VICTORIOUS: Congratulations. I'm sure your letter will be of interest to other parents of "curious" children. Another effective preventive measure that parents can take is to put a 900 block or an international block on their phone line.

DEAR ABBY: I have some advice for the adult son of "Dad, the Morning Rooster," who can't -- or won't -- get himself up in the morning. I used to have the same problem. I, too, just couldn't wake up in the morning.

The alarm clock on my nightstand would go off, and I'd reach over, turn it off and go back to sleep. Most of the time, I never remembered having turned it off.

I realized I had to do something to keep from missing work, so I decided to make my alarm clock harder to turn off. I bought an alarm clock (a wind-up Big Ben) with bells on the outside. That night, I set the alarm, then placed the clock in a metal dishpan and shoved it under my bed.

The next morning the alarm went off and started rattling the dishpan. The noise shocked me awake. I leaped out of bed to locate the source of the racket and shut it off. (By then I had forgotten where I had put the clock.) By the time I was down on my knees, flailing around beneath the bed, I was so wide-awake I couldn't have fallen back to sleep if I had wanted to.

That young man should try my solution. I can almost guarantee it'll work every time. Sign me ... OLE SLEEPYHEAD FROM FLORIDA

DEAR OLE SLEEPYHEAD: Thank you for the helpful anecdote. For slow risers who would prefer a less radical wake-up, placing the alarm out of reach -- for instance, on the other side of the bedroom -- is a valuable suggestion.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: In Branson, Mo., in the heartland of America, we embrace patriotism. Not only does our community host the nation's largest Veterans Day celebration -- Veterans Homecoming -- we honor veterans every day. Our Fourth Annual Homecoming (Nov. 5-11) was attended by more than 25,000 veterans, and we spared no effort to make that week of celebration even more memorable than in years past.

Abby, the Branson Veterans Task Force is a nonprofit organization that creates events honoring veterans year-round. Among the major events we have planned for 1999: Branson Remembers -- a Memorial Day tribute; an old-fashioned patriotic Fourth of July celebration for veterans and families; special memorial services for POW/MIA Day; a ceremony to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the VFW; the annual memorial service for the Four Chaplains of the USS Dorchester; and a ceremony during which we place the flag at half-staff to honor veterans of the Korean War. And, of course, there will be the Fifth Annual Veterans Homecoming, Nov. 5-11, 1999. These are just a sample, in addition to numerous military reunions and conventions throughout the year.

Celebrated entertainers who make Branson their home will participate in the special events and services, and give of their time and talents -- Wayne Newton, Tony Orlando, the Lennon Sisters, Mel Tillis, the Osmonds, Jim Stafford and Box Car Willie, to name only a few. They enthusiastically join in the programs to let our veterans of all conflicts know they are truly honored guests.

Our goal is not only to honor those who have served, but also to educate our youth regarding the sacrifices veterans have made to preserve our freedom. An ongoing educational program has been created in our schools that includes many Medal of Honor recipients as guest speakers.

So please, Abby, convey to veterans everywhere that Branson, Mo., honors American veterans EVERY DAY! -- DEBBIE IKERD, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR

DEAR DEBBIE: Armed conflicts are painful to remember. As time has passed, many Americans have forgotten what was accomplished because of the sacrifices of the members of our armed forces to ensure our comfort, freedom and well-being. However, we must never forget -- or allow our children to forget -- our courageous veterans, both on the battlefield and behind the lines. This includes not only those of World War II and the Cold War that dragged on for decades, but also those of Korea, Vietnam, Grenada, Panama and Desert Storm.

To all the members of the Branson Veterans Task Force: I salute you for keeping the memory alive. It's a pleasure to publicize your efforts on behalf of all veterans.

DEAR ABBY: I am 11 years old and have read your column for the last three years. Well, I have just been through thank-you card season again. It can be frustrating, but I found out that instead of sending a card, you can give the person a phone call. It's less frustrating than writing, and you get to hear the person's voice. Bye! -- S.H. IN JEFFERSONVILLE, IND.

DEAR S.H.: I disagree! A phone call can come at an inconvenient time -- and then it becomes an interruption. Also, a thank-you note can be read, re-read and saved -- and many become treasured keepsakes.

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My granddaughter's 13th birthday is approaching. It is special because she will be a teen-ager, an exciting time filled with new experiences and responsibilities. I would like to give her some advice about boys and dating. She is already boy-crazy. However, every time I try to tell her something, she says, "Oh, Grandma, you're so old-fashioned! Things are different now."

What I need is some advice from you, Abby. She reads your column every morning before she goes to school, and she doesn't consider your advice old-fashioned.

Please, Abby, can you help me to help my granddaughter? -- GRACE IN GRAPEVINE, TEXAS

DEAR GRACE: Your granddaughter is right about one thing: Things are different now from when you were her age. Teen-agers today must handle far more complex problems than either of us faced when we were young. Today's teens face pressure to have sex, and risk contracting sexually transmitted diseases if they do become sexually active. There is the temptation of drugs, and they must deal with more violence than we ever did.

We have fewer stay-at-home mothers these days, and without the necessary time to communicate with their parents, young people often pick up what they can from other teens who are equally inexperienced. For that reason, I wrote my booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know," which answers many questions teens have about sex, love, drugs, and how to handle the many pains of growing up.

The booklet has been used at both church and nonsectarian summer camps, and many teachers have suggested that it would be even more helpful if it were given to children ages 10 to 12, because today children mature earlier physically than they did a generation ago.

To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: When I was very young, my brothers molested me. I have tried everything to get over my anger toward them, but I still feel that they "owe" me.

Abby, my marriage failed and I have never had a stable relationship because I feel that every man is lying to me and is out to hurt me. I just can't seem to get past the pain. I would like to put this behind me and forgive them, but I can't. -- MOLESTED IN MILWAUKEE

DEAR MOLESTED: You say you feel that your brothers "owe" you and indicate that you cannot heal because of your anger. They cannot repay your stolen innocence, nor can they undo your trauma. As an adult, only you have the power to heal yourself, with the help of others who have been in your situation and with professional counseling. Counseling and a self-help support group are not options; they're mandatory if you're ever going to put what happened behind you. At that point you may -- or may not -- choose to "forgive."

For the location of a support group in your area, send a long (business-sized), stamped (33 cents), self-addressed envelope to: Survivors of Incest Anonymous Inc., P.O. Box 26870, Baltimore, Md. 21212.

I urge you, and anyone who has been molested, to take that first step toward healing today. Don't delay. Write for information, and ask your doctor to refer you to a counselor.