DEAR ABBY: As a longtime member of our local traffic safety commission and past volunteer AARP 55-Alive driving instructor, I wish to comment on the recent letter from Tom Lynch of Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

Mr. Lynch suggested that the use of cell phones is safe because truck drivers have used CB radios for many years. What he failed to add is that accidents involving trucks have increased dramatically in recent years. Part of the reason is the increased number of trucks on the road -- but how many others are due to inattentive driving because the driver was on the radio or otherwise occupied?

He also suggested that you will next advocate passing laws against tuning the radio while driving, looking at your passenger and conversing while driving, adjusting the temperature while driving or driving without adequate sleep. While I don't advocate laws preventing those activities, if drivers could be convinced to refrain from those practices, we would have much safer highways.

Driving is a full-time responsibility. Inattentive driving is the cause of more motor vehicle accidents than any other single activity, although it's not always listed on accident reports as such, because it's too difficult to prove in a court of law.

Thanks for your support of highway and driver safety, Abby. -- JAMES G. SEIDL, MEDFORD, WIS.

DEAR JAMES: You put your finger on the problem when you said that inattentive driving is the culprit. I have received mail from many readers complaining about having been caught in traffic with commuters who apply makeup while driving, who turn around to converse with passengers in the rear seat, or to try to control animals that are loose in the car. What many people seem to forget is that the car continues to move while the driver is distracted.

So many drivers ignore stop signs and red lights that some cities have begun installing cameras at busy intersections to record the license plates of the scofflaws. Pedestrians shouldn't have to fear stepping off the curb.

In my own defense, I wasn't entirely off the wall when I suggested there ought to be a law. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Using a cell phone while operating a motor vehicle is against the law in Connecticut, and has been since the days of the old radio-telephone. However, the law is seldom enforced.

Some drivers even keep a telephone headset draped over their rearview mirror for hands-free telephony. -- R.C. JESPERSEN, KEENE, N.H.

DEAR R.C.: Thank you for the information. Whether it's enforced to the max or not, I'm pleased to learn that law is on the books. One down, 49 to go. Other countries have such laws, and we should, too.

DEAR ABBY: I won a gift certificate for two free dinners at a very nice restaurant. If I call another couple to join us for dinner, should I be expected to share the certificate with them -- or do I explain that my wife and I will be eating for free because of the certificate and they will pay for their own dinner? -- JOSEPH F. IN SHERMAN OAKS, CALIF.

DEAR JOSEPH F.: It would be far more diplomatic if you and your wife went alone to the restaurant and enjoyed your windfall, rather than pulling out your certificate for two freebies while your friends present cash or their credit card.

Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.

DEAR ABBY: I need help with a family problem. My 14-year-old son and his friends enjoy sleeping over at one another's homes. Recently he spent the night at a new friend's apartment. I just discovered that the other boy's mother works all night. She left about 10 p.m., and the two boys were left on their own.

I was horrified when I found out and informed my son that he may have his friend over at our home, or he can sleep at his friend's home on the condition that I speak first to a parent to be certain that an adult will be present.

My son says I'm being unreasonable, and my husband sees nothing wrong with two 14-year-old boys being left alone for the night. I seem to be alone in my opinion that this is potentially dangerous. What do you think? Should I back down? -- WORRIED MOM IN MINNEAPOLIS

DEAR WORRIED: Do not back down. It's difficult to be Mom the Enforcer when your husband doesn't support you; however, I agree there should always be an adult on the premises to make responsible decisions should an emergency occur. Dad seems to have forgotten how immature 14-year-old boys can be. Remind him.

DEAR ABBY: With reference to "Dad, the Morning Rooster," who has to haul his 18-year-old son out of bed to go to work: There's another side to the question of slow-to-rise adults. Some body clocks cannot be adjusted.

My husband has this problem. When he was single, he paid the janitor of his building to see that he was up and sitting on the side of the bed each morning before leaving him.

After we were married and both working and sharing transportation, his problem caused me a lot of stress. After I quit working, I thought he could and should change, get a loud alarm clock, suffer the consequences of oversleeping, etc. Nothing worked. I continued to get angry, and he continued to apologize and tell me how much he appreciated my getting him up.

I finally accepted the fact that he is a night person and a very sound sleeper. (He could respond to an emergency in the middle of the night and have no recollection of it the next morning.) I, on the other hand, am a morning person, waking up early and hungry.

My husband worked long, hard hours at a job where he was not in danger of being fired, but certainly didn't get the day off to a good start when he overslept. I finally solved the problem by sending the children, as soon as they were old enough, to wake Daddy. They loved it, and not even he could continue to sleep with a couple of preschoolers climbing all over him.

If possible, night people would do well to follow a career that calls for working afternoons and evenings (such as operating a movie theater). A true night person and a true morning person living together will have to understand and compromise. To people like us, I offer this consolation: It gets better as you grow older. Sound sleepers sleep less soundly, and early risers don't leap quite as eagerly out of bed in the morning. Eventually you meet on middle ground. -- RETIRED MORNING PERSON

DEAR RETIRED: It's true that people have different biological rhythms. However, it's not always possible for an 18-year-old to work nights and sleep in -- particularly if he or she must balance a work schedule with school.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: Yesterday I printed a letter from Gen. Barry McCaffrey (Ret.), director of national drug control policy in Washington, D.C., in which he asked parents to act upon 10 New Year's Resolutions to Raise Drug-Free Kids. Space limitations prevented me from printing the warning signs he said parents should look for. Although there is no single factor for drug use, warning signs of a potential problem include:

(1) Drop in academic performance

(2) Lack of interest in personal appearance

(3) Withdrawal, isolation, depression, fatigue

(4) Aggressive, rebellious behavior

(5) Hostility and lack of cooperativeness

(6) Deteriorating relationships with family

(7) Change in friends

(8) Loss of interest in hobbies and/or sports

(9) Change in eating/sleeping habits

(10) Evidence of drugs or drug paraphernalia (e.g., needles, pipes, papers, lighters)

(11) Physical changes (e.g., runny nose not from cold, red eyes, coughing, wheezing, bruises, needle marks)

Help is available: Call this number for information: (800) 666-3332 and ask for the new Growing Up Drug Free Parents Guide. Call the hot lines for help: (800) 662-HELP or (800) 821-HELP. Or surf for information on the Web at www.whitehousedrugpolicy.gov or www.health.org or www.drugfreeamerica.org.

DEAR ABBY: Do you enjoy large, festive parties where the band is so loud you cannot hear the guest next to you speak?

We went to a very expensive black-tie wedding last week. Most of the guests left the room at various intervals throughout the evening in order to be able to converse with other guests without shouting.

The guests complained to each other about the loudness of the music, but no one felt they could speak to the host and hostess about it because they thought the loud music was their choice.

I spoke with the hostess about it today. She said she also thought the music was too loud, but she thought the guests were enjoying it.

Abby, is there anything guests can do about it? I am not complaining about music in general. It's only the very loud music I resent, which causes me to go home with a sore throat from shouting.

Do other readers agree? -- ROBERTA BERENS, ENCINO, CALIF.

DEAR ROBERTA: I'm sure many readers will agree with you, depending upon their age. It's a generational thing. Young people tend to favor loud music, which explains why so many have hearing problems in their later years. Had you asked the host, the hostess or even the band leader to tone down the volume -- your request may have fallen on deaf ears.

PONDER THIS: "Many a man owes his success to his first wife -- and his second wife to success." -- Sean Connery

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)