DEAR READERS: Today is Thanksgiving Day, and this is my traditional Thanksgiving column.

Take a few minutes to think about what you have to be thankful for.

How's your health? Not so good? Well, thank God you've lived this long. A lot of people haven't. You're hurting? Thousands -- maybe millions -- are hurting more. (Have you ever visited a veterans hospital? Or a rehabilitation clinic for crippled children?)

If you awakened this morning and were able to hear the birds sing, use your vocal cords to utter human sounds, walk to the breakfast table and read the newspaper, praise the Lord! A lot of people couldn't.

How's your pocketbook? Thin? Well, most of the world is a lot poorer. No pensions. No welfare. No food stamps. No Social Security. In fact, one-third of the people in the world will go to bed hungry tonight.

Are you lonely? The way to have a friend is to be one. If nobody calls you, call someone. Go out of your way to do something nice for somebody. It's a sure cure for the blues.

Are you concerned about your country's future? Hooray! Our system has been saved by such concern -- concern for fair play under the law. Your country may not be a rose garden, but it also is not a patch of weeds.

Freedom rings! Look and listen. You can still worship at the church of your choice, cast a secret ballot, and even criticize your government without fearing a knock on the head or a knock on the door at midnight. And if you want to live under a different system, you are free to go. There are no walls or fences -- nothing to keep you here.

As a final thought, I'll repeat my Thanksgiving prayer; perhaps you will want to use it at your table today:

Oh, heavenly Father,

We thank thee for food and remember the hungry.

We thank thee for friends and remember the friendless.

We thank thee for freedom and remember the enslaved.

May these remembrances stir us to service,

That thy gifts to us may be used for others. Amen.

As an afterthought: Want an instant high? The surest cure for the post-holiday blues is to do something nice for someone. Why not call someone who lives alone and invite him (or her) over for dinner?

Better yet, call and say, "I'm coming to get you, and I'll see that you get home." (Many older people don't drive, and those who do don't like to go out alone after dark.)

Try it. And let me know the results.

P.S. Special greetings to those of you in the military who wrote from remote corners of the world to tell me that you are using my Thanksgiving prayer on this Thanksgiving Day. God bless you!

(What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: While I was growing up, my mother was married several times. Unfortunately, over the years I lost contact with my stepfathers. Every year around the holidays, I think back with fondness on these men who shaped my life. I wish I could tell each of them that their presence, however brief, had a lasting effect on me.

To the bank manager I would ascribe my own successful career in banking.

The one who insisted that I eat my vegetables would be amazed to learn that I've become a vegetarian.

I would say to the hard worker who juggled two jobs to support us, that by his example, he instilled a strong work ethic in me.

My biological dad would be thanked for many things, not the least being his faithfulness. He sent the child support checks for 15 years without fail for a child across the country he was barely allowed to know. I always knew he cared.

I feel lucky to have learned so many things from such fine men. -- GRATEFUL TO ALL MY DADS

DEAR GRATEFUL: If childhood is a learning experience, yours was not wasted. I'm printing your letter of gratitude as a reminder for fathers, both absent and present, that children are taught by the examples the adults in their lives have set for them.

DEAR ABBY: Five years ago, my sister "Emmy," who has two children, married "Brad," a man with three kids of his own. The children were close in age -- 7 to 10. Now they're almost all teen-agers.

Emmy recently separated from Brad and is considering divorce. The main reason seems to be that Brad's children are disrespectful and disobedient, and are getting into trouble at school. Emmy says she's tired of being "the wicked stepmother" trying to discipline them without any help from him. Brad is very easygoing, and his children do have some behavioral and emotional problems.

I don't want my sister to be unhappy. She should do whatever she thinks is right for herself, her son and daughter. Frankly, if she can't deal with her stepchildren, perhaps they're better off without her as well.

My problem is, I like Brad and I'm fond of his kids. For five years I've considered them part of our family. I feel very uncomfortable suddenly having to treat them like outcasts. Emmy feels that if I continue to see them, I'm taking his side and not supporting her.

Personally, I'm happily married, with a new baby who is very popular with his "step" cousins. I'd appreciate hearing what you think. -- BETWIXT AND BETWEEN

DEAR BETWIXT: The root of your sister's unhappiness is her husband's unwillingness to accept his responsibility as a parent, and it has sabotaged the marriage. Small wonder the children have problems! It's interesting that you are not more sympathetic to the battle she has been through during the last five years, nor more protective of her feelings.

What you decide to do in the long run is up to you. However, until your sister decides whether to continue or end the marriage, in the interest of family loyalty, I think you should back her up.

Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.

DEAR ABBY: I am 49, divorced, and partially living with a 67-year-old man. He has been divorced nearly 10 years.

He and his wife divorced because he had fathered a child by another woman. He never married this woman, but he does take care of the financial obligations for mother and child.

He and I fight a lot because of his involvement with his ex-wife and ex-mistress. We have never spent a major holiday together because his adult children have all the family dinners, and I am not "family." I share my home, cabin, family, friends and vacations with him. Yet he thinks he "owes" the holidays and birthdays to his family. Last year we planned to have his birthday party at his house. We invited his children, but not the ex-wife, ex-mistress or child. Well, no one showed up. They all blamed me for the exclusion.

I'm fairly intelligent and own my own business. Deep down, I want to get rid of him, but like the old rhyme says, "When it's good, it's very, very good -- and when it's bad, it's horrid."

By the way, he recently went on a cruise with his ex-wife, and when they go to family gatherings, they share a room. I am supposed to understand that it's "family." Well, I am sick of this sick family.

He says he would take me to family events, but the children don't want me. He says he doesn't want to hurt them any more than he already has, because the affair that produced the child lasted for 12 years of his marriage. He argues that as long as we spend weekdays together he should be able to spend the dozen-or-so birthdays and holidays with them. I think I should be included in family events or at least considered. Am I wrong? -- HAD ENOUGH IN MINNESOTA

DEAR HAD ENOUGH: I have to wonder why you want to be included at birthday or holiday celebrations with people who have made it clear they want to exclude you. Your friend is trying to keep you happy by spending weekdays with you, but -- face it -- he has too many other females in his life to concentrate on you alone. You will always be the caboose at the end of the train. Frankly, I think you deserve better.

DEAR ABBY: Would you please publish again your letter on tickling? I have just returned from visiting my daughter and her husband, and he tickles his two little girls too often. He says they must like it, because they laugh. It is very distressing to me. -- WORRIED GRANDMOTHER IN KNOXVILLE, TENN.

DEAR WORRIED GRANDMOTHER: You are right to be concerned about your son-in-law's behavior. Pediatric specialists say that excessive tickling stimulates children inappropriately and should be discouraged. Remind him that in ancient times, tickling was used as a method of torture. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: How right you are to point out that constantly tickling someone is cruel and should not be tolerated. My Irish grandmother told me at least 50 years ago of a situation that took place near her hometown in Ireland.

A neighbor had at least two wives pass away before anyone paid much attention to it. Then another neighbor reported hearing hysterical laughter coming from that house. Well, it was later determined that the man had been tying his wives to the bedpost, and tickling the soles of their bare feet with a feather! He continued until the hysteria did them in. In truth, they were tickled to death. -- PAT HOLLINGSWORTH, BRITISH COLUMBIA

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)