DEAR ABBY: I have read many letters in your column over the years that have made my writing fingers itch, but "Papa Know-It-All" made me race to my word processor. This guy would try the patience of a saint!

Abby, my 76-year-old father has lived with us for more than four years. I'm blessed with a wonderful father. I don't know what I'd do without him. While my husband and I work long hours, Dad tends to the household chores, takes care of the four pets, runs errands, works part time, volunteers in his spare time and socializes with friends of all ages. He knows when to butt out of our business and asks us if we're interested in his opinion. He also pays his own living expenses out of his Social Security income and wages.

Certainly he has his faults, and we struggle with irritations, but his willingness to contribute to the family activities and responsibilities goes a long way in balancing the score.

I showed Dad the letter about "Papa Know-It-All" and asked him what his response would have been. He said, "Throw him out on his a--." -- DAUGHTER OF A WONDERFUL FATHER, OAKLAND, CALIF.

DEAR DAUGHTER: Your father is a man of few words, but many inner resources. Although I received a stack of letters condemning "Papa Luke's" controlling behavior, one reader had a bone to pick with me about my answer. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: You gave good counsel to "Papa Luke's Prisoners." However, I think the Serenity Prayer has been overworked in recent years.

"Prisoner" might like to try this one instead:

"Lord, this situation stinks and we both know it. Now, I'm going to try something different, because what I've been doing hasn't been working. And if Thou wishest to contribute to the miracle, be my guest!" -- THE REV. D.M. MEEKER, JOPLIN, MO.

DEAR MR. MEEKER: God gifted you with a wicked sense of humor. Your version is certainly an attention-getter. Although many people strive for a personal relationship with the Lord, somehow I hadn't envisioned it as being so informal. Your interpretation will probably wind up posted on more refrigerators than you know.

DEAR ABBY: I have learned the most important truth about relationships the hard way.

My girlfriend, "June," and I broke up recently. June was the most wonderful woman I had ever met, and I loved her very much, but I took her for granted.

We were together for two years. We'd had trouble in the past about my lack of commitment, but after each argument, I promised I would change. I tried to improve, but each time I lapsed into the same selfish behavior. Finally, she had enough and ended the relationship.

Abby, if any of your readers recognize this pattern, I would urge them to pay less attention to themselves and more to their partners. Buy her flowers, take her out, tell her when you're going to be running late. Surprise her, tell her how important she is to you, write her sweet notes. Tell her you love her. Do it now, and do it often -- otherwise, it may be too late. -- LOST MY LOVE IN GEORGIA

DEAR LOST: Perhaps it isn't too late after all. Clip this letter and take it to June with two dozen roses. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she's capable of forgiveness one more time.

Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.

DEAR ABBY: Do I have a right to be angry with my late mother's best friend? (I'll call her "Mary.")

Mother passed away less than a month ago from cancer. She left all her worldly possessions to me, her only daughter. I have three older brothers. We are very close and I intend to share Mother's things with them and their wives. We have never bickered over material things.

Three weeks after Mother's death, Mary and her husband, "John," visited my father at home. Over coffee, Mary asked Dad if he would return a piece of jewelry that she had given to Mom. Dad replied, "Of course, take anything you need," meaning anything of Mary's. I hadn't even sorted Mom's clothes and jewelry yet. Mary helped herself to two necklaces, four pairs of earrings, a wristwatch and my mother's birthstone ring. She had even helped herself to a pair of earrings that Mom and I had made together in a jewelry class. She hadn't given any of those items to Mother.

Mary also reorganized all the jewelry and moved it from one drawer to another. I was livid. However, I politely told Mary she could keep whatever she had given Mom, but she should please return the other items. (How could she think she came before her friend's children?)

Now, Mary is pouting. She acts like I'm a spoiled, selfish person because I made her return the items.

Abby, this "friend" would cry while Mom was sick, and say she couldn't deal with seeing her when she was in the hospital. She cried loudest and hardest at Mother's funeral. I don't understand her insensitivity.

Should I confront her, since she's acting like I'm the selfish one, and explain why I thought her actions were inappropriate? -- ALICE IN FLORIDA

DEAR ALICE: Since the jewelry was returned, I see nothing to be gained by confronting her. Her behavior was inconsiderate. However, it's possible that she misunderstood your father when he told her to take anything she needed. Give her the benefit of the doubt and try not to nurse a grudge.

DEAR ABBY: A few months ago, I did something that I consider "standing up for the little guy." My husband thinks what I did was out of line. Here's the story:

Mom and I went shopping at a mall where there happens to be only one public telephone. We needed to use it, so we waited patiently in line for about five minutes. It appeared that the caller was bored and just "chewing the fat" with a friend to pass the time. Mom left the mall to find another phone, but I stayed in line to indicate that I needed to make a call.

After a few more minutes, the man turned to me and told me he'd be on the phone for another 15 minutes or so. I told him that he should not tie up a public phone that long. He grunted and continued his phone conversation.

I moved out of sight and enlisted the help of six high school boys. They distracted him while I reached around and clicked down the receiver button to cut off his call. Then I ran.

Abby, I am 30 years old and had never done anything like that before, but I was proud of myself for standing up to someone I considered an arrogant jerk.

Was I out of line? -- ONE FOR THE LITTLE GUYS

DEAR ONE: Yes. Your behavior was both rude and immature.

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DEAR ABBY: I am a freshman at Michigan State. When I was home for Labor Day, I came across your column. In it was a letter from a student in Anaheim, Calif. I read it and instantly felt as though somebody knew how I felt.

I feel so all alone. I knew that college life entailed kegger parties and plenty of beer, but you have no idea to what extent until you experience it firsthand. Every night at about 9:30, my entire floor gets their cue. They call friends and go to the frat house. I have been asked to join them a number of times, but have no desire to go. I make up lousy excuses every night. My roommate comes back anywhere from 3:30 to 5:30 a.m. Last time she told me she had had around 13 beers!

Abby, getting drunk is not my kind of entertainment. While intoxicated, anything can happen, from a car accident to AIDS. Why are people so stupid? I am 18 years old and allowed to drink while on vacations, at weddings and things like that. Why would I want to kill myself or get in trouble with the law when I'm at college to better my future, not end it?

I thank "Grieving and Alone" for her letter. I have it taped to the front of my journal and read it at least once a day to remind myself what life is all about. Thank you, Abby, and thanks to all the people who still believe that there are some teen-agers who don't drink or do drugs. -- ALCOHOL-FREE IN EAST LANSING, MICH.

DEAR ALCOHOL-FREE: If your grades are as terrific as your decision-making about substance abuse, you'll finish college with top honors. My experts tell me that according to several studies, college students who drink excessively tend to earn poorer grades and are more likely to drop out than nondrinkers.

I hope you'll take heart in the knowledge that no matter how much noise those party animals make, you and others like you are in the majority. While it may seem like "everyone" on campus is partying at keggers, surveys from the Core Institute at Southern Illinois University reveal that on most campuses, fewer than half the students "binge" drink (down five or more drinks on one occasion).

At Michigan State, you can meet other students who share your views on alcohol abuse through Project IMPACT groups at Student Services 101, a social mentoring program for alcohol-free freshmen. Many campuses have similar programs through their student services centers. You might also consider moving to alcohol-free living accommodations to reduce disruptions from intoxicated roommates. That's an option at MSU as well as more and more campuses around the country.

Your roommate who downed 13 drinks in an evening engaged in very high-risk behavior that could have led to injury or even death. I urge you to persuade her to get some assistance through the student health services' "Alcohol and Other Drugs Program" before another campus tragedy occurs.

For referral to other resources to learn more about college alcohol problems and their solution, contact the National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information. It's a free government service. The toll-free phone number is 1-800-729-6686, and the Web site is: www.college.health.org.

I am pleased that taping the letter from "Grieving and Alone" in your journal helps you. I hope that someone will post your letter where many others can benefit from your wise and courageous example. Thank you for writing. You've given me one more reason to be optimistic about your generation.

Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.