DEAR ABBY: I am a freshman at Michigan State. When I was home for Labor Day, I came across your column. In it was a letter from a student in Anaheim, Calif. I read it and instantly felt as though somebody knew how I felt.

I feel so all alone. I knew that college life entailed kegger parties and plenty of beer, but you have no idea to what extent until you experience it firsthand. Every night at about 9:30, my entire floor gets their cue. They call friends and go to the frat house. I have been asked to join them a number of times, but have no desire to go. I make up lousy excuses every night. My roommate comes back anywhere from 3:30 to 5:30 a.m. Last time she told me she had had around 13 beers!

Abby, getting drunk is not my kind of entertainment. While intoxicated, anything can happen, from a car accident to AIDS. Why are people so stupid? I am 18 years old and allowed to drink while on vacations, at weddings and things like that. Why would I want to kill myself or get in trouble with the law when I'm at college to better my future, not end it?

I thank "Grieving and Alone" for her letter. I have it taped to the front of my journal and read it at least once a day to remind myself what life is all about. Thank you, Abby, and thanks to all the people who still believe that there are some teen-agers who don't drink or do drugs. -- ALCOHOL-FREE IN EAST LANSING, MICH.

DEAR ALCOHOL-FREE: If your grades are as terrific as your decision-making about substance abuse, you'll finish college with top honors. My experts tell me that according to several studies, college students who drink excessively tend to earn poorer grades and are more likely to drop out than nondrinkers.

I hope you'll take heart in the knowledge that no matter how much noise those party animals make, you and others like you are in the majority. While it may seem like "everyone" on campus is partying at keggers, surveys from the Core Institute at Southern Illinois University reveal that on most campuses, fewer than half the students "binge" drink (down five or more drinks on one occasion).

At Michigan State, you can meet other students who share your views on alcohol abuse through Project IMPACT groups at Student Services 101, a social mentoring program for alcohol-free freshmen. Many campuses have similar programs through their student services centers. You might also consider moving to alcohol-free living accommodations to reduce disruptions from intoxicated roommates. That's an option at MSU as well as more and more campuses around the country.

Your roommate who downed 13 drinks in an evening engaged in very high-risk behavior that could have led to injury or even death. I urge you to persuade her to get some assistance through the student health services' "Alcohol and Other Drugs Program" before another campus tragedy occurs.

For referral to other resources to learn more about college alcohol problems and their solution, contact the National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information. It's a free government service. The toll-free phone number is 1-800-729-6686, and the Web site is: www.college.health.org.

I am pleased that taping the letter from "Grieving and Alone" in your journal helps you. I hope that someone will post your letter where many others can benefit from your wise and courageous example. Thank you for writing. You've given me one more reason to be optimistic about your generation.

Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.

DEAR ABBY: The letter you printed about the widow who was coming on to a married man at church reminded me of something that happened to me. In my case, the minister had to step in and resolve the matter.

Two old gals, each 80 and widowed, wanted to sit with me in church. I'll call them "Mary" and "Alice."

I'm 71 and a widower. I've never been good-looking, nor made much money. I do have my health, however. I love golf, quail hunting and my church, but have no interest in women and romance.

Several months ago I was in church when Mary sat down beside me. I had seen Mary with her daughter, but didn't know her. Every Sunday after that, Mary joined me. I hinted to her daughter to come and get Mary, but somehow she kept slipping away from her daughter.

About a month later, I was joined by Alice, who'd take the spot on my other side. Now I had TWO women with me, both of whom I was trying hard to shed. Alice would sit down with her daughter, make an excuse like going to the rest room, then hasten to my pew.

Then came an incident that still has the congregation laughing. Mary and I were sitting there and the service was about to begin, when along came Alice. Instead of Alice sitting on my right side, she tried to wedge in on my left, between Mary and me.

Curious to see what would happen, I didn't budge an inch. Neither did Mary. So Alice began wiggling her derriere, trying to force a spot between Mary and me. By now, the congregation was giggling, even laughing aloud.

Suddenly, Alice lost her balance and fell right into my lap. The crowd guffawed. Alice's daughter appeared, helped her mother to her feet and led her away. A moment later, Mary's daughter was there leading away her mom. Mary was protesting, "He's MY man. I saw him first!"

I haven't been bothered by either woman since. I'm told the minister met with both families and the daughters agreed to exercise more control of their mothers. I'm enjoying church a lot more these days. -- 71 IN ST. LOUIS

DEAR 71: How fortunate that Alice's fall from grace occurred in church, where the minister could intercede on your behalf.

Many years ago I was told that the most dangerous place a tourist could be while on safari was between a hippopotamus and water. Your experience illustrates that it can be equally dangerous to get between an amorous woman and the object of her affections.

DEAR ABBY: The company I work for is located on an island, and we must commute by ferry. We can either walk on, take a bus, hitch a ride or drive our cars aboard, but the latter is quite expensive.

My problem: One of my co-workers constantly asks for a ride. She walks onto the ferry and wants to ride with me from the dock to work. She never brings her car, so she can't reciprocate by offering rides to those of us who accommodate her.

Abby, this woman talks nonstop, and I don't always feel sociable. I cherish my private time while I am commuting.

Is there a way I can tell this co-worker she's not welcome to ride with me without offending her? -- IRRITATED ON THE FERRY

DEAR IRRITATED: Probably not. People who are insensitive enough to continually mooch a ride usually become very sensitive when the intrusion is called to their attention. However, honesty with diplomacy is the best way to go. Explain to your co-worker that your commute to work is your "think tank time," and you concentrate more effectively when you are alone with no distractions. Then ask her to please understand and to forgive you for not sharing your car.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I just found this letter I wrote to you last January:

"Dear Abby: I work in a bakery with my boyfriend. He took a couple of days off because of an emergency. I now have to do both our jobs by myself. The stress is on. It's 2 a.m., and I want a cigarette so bad I'm climbing the walls. My jaw is sore from chewing gum instead of smoking -- and I hate pain.

"I smoked my last cigarette Jan. 2. About an hour ago, on my break, I decided to read the paper before making a quick trip to the convenience store. Smack in the middle of your column was another one of those "stop-smoking" letters from a woman named Jill Dial. In the middle of her letter, in capital letters, it said, 'DON'T GIVE UP!' It also said that after a month I will feel better. I sure hope so, because right now I want a cigarette as bad as I did last week, and I sure don't feel better. This is the longest I have gone without a cigarette in 26 years."

Abby, please don't stop printing those "irritating" stop-smoking letters. -- FEELING BETTER IN MINNEAPOLIS

DEAR TIRED: I need little encouragement to keep printing those stop-smoking letters. This one's for you. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: If I've learned nothing else from reading your column, I have learned to thank a person right away and not postpone it.

Abby, thank you so very much for your annual crusade in November against smoking. Thank you for my 10 years of smoke-free living. I'll think of you for many years with a grateful heart.

I smoked for more than 40 years. I started as a preteen. I had tried to stop a few times, but had been unsuccessful. I guess the reasons I finally succeeded were: (1) I truly wanted to stop; and (2) Your crusade gave me a reason to stop for a day. That day turned into more days -- and here we are.

Keep up the good work! I'm sure there are many more converts waiting in the wings. Please keep pounding out the message that smoking is NOT COOL. -- WALTER IN ALLENTOWN, PA.

DEAR WALTER: Your letter made my day. I commend you for overcoming your addiction. Allow me to be the first to congratulate you on your 10th anniversary of kicking the smoking habit.

What a fitting way to announce that tomorrow, Nov. 19, marks the 22nd Annual Great American Smokeout. The Smokeout is a one-day campaign to encourage smokers to quit smoking for 24 hours -- to prove that they can do it. In 1997, 24 percent of smokers (approximately 11,280,000 people) participated in the Great American Smokeout. Of those participating, 19 percent reported they were smoking less or not at all one to five days later. That's more than 2 million people who are well on their way to healthier, smoke-free lives -- thanks to the American Cancer Society.

I am told that while "cold turkey" is the most difficult, it's also the most effective way to kick the habit. Those who need help or want more information about the effects of tobacco may call the local chapter of the American Cancer Society or 1-800-ACS-2345.

So, Dear Readers, if you're hooked on tobacco and have been saying, "One of these days, I'm going to quit," why not join the Great American Smokeout and quit tomorrow? It won't be easy, but it will be the best Thanksgiving gift you can give yourself and those who love you.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets I and II, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)