DEAR ABBY: Early last fall, my mother committed suicide. It was very hard on our family, both emotionally and financially.

Our house was full of old memories, mostly sad ones. My father could no longer bear to live there, so he moved us to Georgia from Boston where my parents had lived since before I was born. Of course, he had to change jobs. Although his new job paid better than the one he held previously, without Mom's income, times were hard. My three brothers and I had to give up many of the extras we had always taken for granted.

One of these extras was summer camp. I had gone to camp in Maine every year since I was 9. I'm now 15, and this would have been my last year to attend. Although I hated the idea of missing camp this year, there was no money for it.

In early January, an anonymous letter arrived. It seems our grandmother told her women's club about our situation. Enclosed with the letter was a cashier's check for $10,000! A member of the club felt so bad that on top of the grief for our mother, we would miss out on camp, that she wanted to help. Because of her unbelievable generosity, not only were we able to go to camp, there was money for school clothes for all of us.

I don't know who the lady was, but because of her I had the best summer of my 15 years. She and my friends at the camp are responsible for an amazing summer for which I am totally grateful.

Abby, if you print this letter, maybe that wonderful woman will read it and understand that I would thank her a million times if I could. She has confirmed my faith that there are good people in this world with kind and generous hearts.

Mom didn't mean to cause anyone any problems, and she would have wanted us to continue our summers as we had in the past. Thanks to this kindhearted stranger, we were able to do that. Sign me ... FOREVER GRATEFUL IN GEORGIA

DEAR FOREVER GRATEFUL: Indeed, there are wonderfully generous people in this world, and your "angel" is one of them. Although the newspapers and television news are filled with the misdeeds of people, along comes someone like your anonymous benefactor, and the basic goodness of mankind is reaffirmed. One day, you, in turn, will be able to pass along the kindness she showed to someone who needs a helping hand. The power of good deeds can be infinite if all who are affected by them are inspired to repeat them.

DEAR ABBY: My sister is getting married for the third time to a man who also has been married twice before. What kind of gift should I get, or can I just settle for sending my good wishes? I want to do the right thing, but I'm getting weary of "getting hit" for gifts every time she goes to the altar. -- MAGGIE IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR MAGGIE: You do not have to give your sister as expensive a present as you perhaps gave at her first wedding, but you should give the happy couple a modest gift, especially if you attend the wedding. A suggestion: momogrammed towels so the new husband will not be reminded of his predecessors. Better yet, ask them what they could use.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: This has always puzzled me. Why do people who are virtual strangers tell you their deepest secrets?

I was on a first date not long ago with "Phil." Before the evening was over, he'd told me about his father's attempted suicide, the fact that he hasn't spoken to his mother in more than 18 years, and his sister's many bad habits -- all of which were described in detail.

On another occasion, the woman seated next to me at a seminar told me more than I ever wanted to know about her struggle with infertility. What gives? -- OFFENDED IN OTHELLO, WASH.

DEAR OFFENDED: Phil may have been talking to mask his first-date jitters. Many people use nervous chatter to hide their feelings. Or perhaps he mistook you for a sympathetic listener. You could have gently stopped his recitation by turning the conversation to another subject, or lightly suggesting that it wasn't necessary for you to learn everything about him in one night.

Some people confide in strangers because it's "safe." They are able to express their emotions and lighten their emotional burden without worrying about the other's reaction, or living with the consequences of what they have disclosed.

DEAR ABBY: I owe you a debt of gratitude. I'm a 20-year-old married college student. "Rick" and I married five months ago, and we live in Palo Alto, Calif. I love my in-laws dearly. They are kind and generous, but I do have one problem with them. They are so perfect they intimidate me.

They live in a lovely house that my husband's father keeps in good repair. The outside looks almost picture-perfect. "Jill," my mother-in-law, has made the interior look like a designer's pet project. She's a great cook, too. Neither of Rick's parents has every tried to make me feel inferior, but how could I ever measure up to their level?

Recently, Rick's father was sent to Oakland on business and decided to bring Jill with him. They asked to come to our apartment since they were in the area. I was scared out of my wits. However, among the gifts I received at my kitchen shower before my wedding were your two cookbooklets. I needed something that I, a novice at cooking, could prepare.

Abby, I chose my entire menu from your "More Favorite Recipes." Your tomato salad because it could be made the night before; your Sour Cream Chicken because I could assemble it early in the morning to cook just before their arrival, and the Heavenly Peanut Butter Pie. While I made the salad on Friday night, Rick made the pie. He also helped me with the chicken recipe on Saturday morning.

I'm happy to report that dinner was a great success. My in-laws were impressed. In fact, Jill said, "You've been hiding something from me -- I had no idea you were such a talented cook." Rick's dad was equally complimentary and didn't have to be encouraged to take seconds.

Thank you, Abby, for helping me measure up to Rick's terrific parents. Sign me ... GRATEFUL IN PALO ALTO, CALIF.

DEAR GRATEFUL: I'm delighted that my recipes helped you dazzle your in-laws. (However, I suspect your secret weapon was Rick, the kitchen collaborator!) Next time you entertain, try my carrot cake, the sweet potato pie or the brownies. They're not lo-cal -- but I predict there won't be any leftovers.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: Abby's Favorite Recipes and Abby's More Favorite Recipes. To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets I and II, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I usually get a bit depressed around my birthday, and this past year was especially hard. Two years ago, I lost my grandmother, my father and a girlfriend shortly before my birthday. Also, my new girlfriend dumped me a year ago, just before my birthday. Now I associate my birthday with the loss of people for whom I cared deeply and I become depressed weeks before the occasion.

This year I received two cards in the "snail mail" -- one from my stepmother (which reminded me that my dad can never send me a card again) and one from my oldest sister. I was, however, surprised to receive an e-mail card from another sister and her two small children, another e-mail card from my younger sister and several from Internet buddies. The real kicker was an e-mail greeting from my mother! One of my sisters had shown her how to create a card on the computer and send it to me online.

Because of the snail mail and e-mail cards I received, I didn't feel quite so alone this year. In fact, it was the most loving birthday I've had in years. -- KEN IN GROVE CITY, OHIO

DEAR KEN: Congratulations on having overcome the birthday blues. Thirty years ago, who would have believed that so many people would own personal computers and use them for greetings and personal messages? This age of sophisticated communications technology is a marvel to behold, isn't it? Belated happy birthday, Ken.

DEAR ABBY: This is my first letter to you, but after reading about the woman's husband who urinates in their front yard, I just had to write. When I read your answer I laughed out loud even though I was alone in the house. I was reminded of a solution to a problem that we have here in the desert Southwest.

It isn't unusual for critters from the desert to cruise through town looking for food. The javelina (wild boar) especially can be a nuisance because it travels in family packs, and a group of at least six was checking out my porch every evening to see if my cats had left any food. I'd chase them away, but that deterred them only for a little while. I needed a more permanent solution.

Someone told my daughter about a group of beer drinkers who usually drank outside the house. Instead of going inside to urinate, they'd just do it in the yard -- and they had no problem with javelinas. Other people who were bothered by the pesky creatures tried it, and it worked. I finally talked my grandson into marking his territory in various spots around my yard.

It worked at my house, too. It has to be repeated every so often, but it's such an inoffensive way to be rid of the pests. I'm signing my letter, but do not use my name. It's a small town and I don't need that kind of notoriety. -- ARIZONA READER

DEAR ARIZONA READER: Thank you for an intriguing letter. Several readers wrote to tell me that urine is a pest repellent. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but according to the master gardener, Jerry Baker, urine can be very beneficial in the garden to control pests. I can tell you from experience that urine seems to have eliminated the pack rats that were around our home for years. Since pack rats can be very damaging to one's house, my theory was, "If a little urine gets rid of them, whatta deal!" -- TOM IN TUCSON

DEAR ABBY: Since those of us over the age of 60 are referred to as "senior citizens," that must mean that people in their 40s and 50s are "junior citizens." And if that's the case, it would follow that those in their 30s are sophomore citizens and adults in their 20s are freshman citizens.

If this is true, we would have a new age grouping system that eliminates "elderly" from our vocabulary. For those who ask what comes after "senior," the answer is, "Graduation, of course. We don't die. We graduate." -- GEORGE TIPPEN, SENIOR CITIZEN

DEAR GEORGE: That makes sense to me. And our post-graduate education depends upon the course we take here on Earth.

Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.