DEAR ABBY: For some time I had suspected my girlfriend of sleeping with someone I had considered my best friend. We all lived in the same college house, so it was a tense situation. When I confronted the two of them, they denied it and I believed them. It was easier than thinking that two people I loved were lying to my face. Soon thereafter I witnessed them in a sex act in his car. I was destroyed, but didn't know how to handle the situation, so I kept quiet.
Since that time, my girlfriend and I have moved to New York for the summer. I have cautiously brought up the subject of infidelity with her on several occasions, but I didn't tell her what I had seen. I was trying to give her an opportunity to tell me the truth; the truth is all I've ever asked of her. She repeatedly denied that anything had happened, going so far as to become angry with me for suspecting her. The pain of her lies is nearly unbearable.
Abby, I love them both so much and have no idea how to proceed. I feel like a doormat, a cuckold, a fool; however, I can't bring myself to hate them, even though society dictates that I should. They both mean too much to me to cut them out of my life.
How can my pride be salvaged in a situation like this? Should I allow them to believe their secret is safe? -- DYING INSIDE
DEAR DYING: I don't blame you for feeling hurt. Your girlfriend has not only cheated, she's also proven herself to be a liar -- and your "best friend" has shown he's no better. That combination of punches would floor almost anyone.
You owe it to yourself to tell them what you saw, and that they owe you an explanation. After you get some answers, whether or not you choose to continue either of the relationships is entirely up to you.