DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Gil," has an ex-wife I'll call Shirley, and an 11-year-old daughter. Shirley divorced Gil three years ago for another man.
She always goes out to Gil's car and makes small talk when he takes his daughter home from weekend visitations. Last Halloween, instead of waiting in the car, she came into my living room. This summer, Shirley dropped by Gil's family reunion briefly and brought him a gift to celebrate his recent baptism. She also calls my home regularly and asks for Gil.
In my opinion, when you divorce someone, that pretty much says you don't want to see the person again. I believe Shirley should also be divorced from the family. I want to start a new life with Gil, but somehow I keep running into this woman.
Abby, wouldn't it be good manners for Shirley to stay out of sight? -- KATHY IN HUNTSVILLE, ALA.
DEAR KATHY: Considering the circumstances of the divorce, I'm surprised that Shirley felt comfortable dropping by the family reunion. However, Gil will always have a tie to Shirley because of their daughter, so it's to everyone's advantage to maintain a friendly relationship. If you want a happy future with him, try harder to control your resentment and accept the fact that he has "baggage." Sometimes you have to take the bitter with the sweet.