DEAR ABBY: My friend, who is pregnant with her second child, has asked me to give her a baby shower. I don't have a problem entertaining for her, but this is her second pregnancy in two years -- and everyone I've invited refused to attend.
Friends I've talked to think a baby shower is only for the first baby or for babies spaced apart by five to 10 years. Perhaps I would get a better guest response if I didn't invite the same women who were invited to the first baby shower.
Abby, what is the limit for baby showers? How many years between babies, and what is the responsibility of the baby shower hostess? -- BABY SHOWER HOSTESS IN MAINE
DEAR HOSTESS: According to "The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette," a baby shower is not usually given for a second or third child, because the mother already has the essential items from her first child and may not want to put friends who attended the first shower in the position of having to give a second gift.
Instead of a shower, consider a small gathering of close friends at a luncheon or tea. If a guest wants to bring a token gift, an article of baby clothing or an IOU to provide a few frozen meals to the parents after the baby's arrival, it would be a nice gesture.