DEAR ABBY: I have an 8-year-old son who was disagnosed with diabetes last year. A few months ago, I took him to a matinee at a theater.

I took some dietetic sugar-free wafers and dietetic sugar-free chocolate candies with us. When the young lady at the ticket counter saw that my son was holding some food, she very loudly read the sign that was posted on the wall: "No Outside Food Permitted." (As if I couldn't read.)

I was embarrassed and quite upset. I explained that my son has diabetes and she just repeated to me, "Sorry, ma'am, no outside food permitted." I thought she was very rude.

Abby, couldn't they bend the rules a little bit? My son CAN'T eat the candy they sell. I understand the rules about bringing in outside food -- it would mean they'd lose business. However, there must be exceptions for people with medical conditions. Aren't there? What do you think, Abby? -- ANNOYED IN OREGON

DEAR ANNOYED: If sugar-free items are not sold at the theater, an exception should have been made. However, the ticket-seller wasn't in a position to bend the rules for you. It was beyond her authority. Had you taken your problem to the manager, I'm sure you would have had a more favorable result.

DEAR ABBY: You advised "Feeling Guilty in the Desert" to allow her mother to live with her temporarily if the mother and father separate. Well, let me tell you why that is NOT good advice. How do I know? I'm speaking from personal experience.

I owned my own home and was still unmarried when I foolishly allowed my mother to live with me. She stuck like a leech and insulted every man I dated. I had to fight for every idea I wanted to implement in my own home. It was a miserable fight all the way.

Mom worked and was capable of having her own home, but she was terrified of living alone. Finally, in desperation, I sent all her belongings to my brother's home while she was visiting him. I caught hell from him and his family because they knew it wouldn't work for our mother to live with them. She begged to come back to my home, saying it would be temporary, only until she could find a place of her own.

I weakened and allowed her to return. She lived with me and made my life pure hell until the day she died.

Abby, please retract your advice to "Feeling Guilty." Encourage her to stick to her guns and not allow her mother to take advantage of her. -- LEARNED THE HARD WAY

P.S. I married AFTER Mother died, not before.

DEAR LEARNED: Your letter was one of many warning against allowing a manipulative parent to get a foot in the door. However, I stand by my advice because the daughter had lived in her mother's home until age 29. That means her mother provided for her long past the time when most adults should be self-sufficient. I think she owes her mother at least temporary shelter. And may I emphasize, I advised TEMPORARY shelter, not a permanent home.

After a reasonable period of time during which her parents could resolve their marital problems, it would then be appropriate for the daughter to give her mother her walking papers. It may be difficult, but it is possible to evict an individual, even if she is a parent.

Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are having a major disagreement concerning our two sons' inheritance. When we die, our sons will inherit everything 50-50, with the exception of our family business, which is worth a considerable amount of money. My husband has already turned the business over to our eldest son, "Donald." My husband feels that Donald has earned this because "he stayed with us." Donald and his family have enjoyed a very prosperous life because of the family business.

"Steve," our younger son, started his own business in a different field. He has always struggled, and his family has never known the same level of comfort as Donald's. This troubles me.

I am trying to convince my husband that we should give Steve at least part of his inheritance while we are alive. He needs the money to enlarge his business. We would never miss the money. I think it's fair, but my husband refuses to let Steve have it until we're both dead. What do you think, Abby? -- SADDENED MOTHER

DEAR SADDENED MOTHER: I see no reason to withhold the money from Steve, when to give it to him now would help him and his family.

Unless your husband can give you a valid reason, which does not include standing on ceremony, I recommend consulting with an attorney and arranging to give your struggling son a helping hand.

DEAR ABBY: In response to the woman who cannot forget that her parents were not truthful with her regarding when they got married, here is another story about the same thing:

My mother recently got the shock of her life. While trying to obtain a passport, she received a letter stating that the information she submitted was incorrect. It appears that Mom's father was not her father, and there is no official record of her birth. Also, the maiden name my mother, my siblings and I have used on official documents was the wrong name!

Our grandmother is too ill to explain why she lead us to believe that the man we called "Grandpa" was Mom's father when he wasn't.

When my brother tried to obtain a Social Security number for his infant daughter, he was told there was a problem. My sister and I have received letters from Social Security periodically stating that there was a problem with the name(s) listed. We used to assume that it was because of our name changes upon marriage. We do not assume so anymore.

Abby, our family is trying to sort out this whole mess. My mother will be eligible for Social Security in a few years and is understandably concerned. All of the emotional issues aside, none of this would have occurred if Gran had not lied.

Thank God, my life is an open book! I assured my children, at one point, that they will never wake up to find that their father is not really their father, that I had other children, or that I may not be their mother.

Once our sense of humor returns, I think we will write Gran's memoirs. Thank you, Abby, for existing. -- STUNNED ON THE WEST COAST

DEAR STUNNED: I'm sure the memoirs will make fascinating reading. Your letter calls to mind Sir Walter Scott's memorable quote, "Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!

Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.

DEAR ABBY: I am 16 years old and will be a junior in high school in September. My boyfriend and his parents have invited me on a family vacation with them. About a dozen people will be going.

My parents have known "Ryan" (my boyfriend) and his family for several years. Ryan's parents have offered to talk to mine about this, but so far my parents refuse to let me go. There will be plenty of adults around, and of course Ryan and I would have separate sleeping quarters.

My dad suggested I write to you and ask if you think it would be OK for me to go. He promised that after we receive your reply, we will discuss the issue again. The trip is scheduled for the third week of August, so I need your answer as soon as possible. -- TEEN WHO WANTS TO TRAVEL

DEAR TEEN: The circumstances surrounding your vacation appear appropriate. Your boyfriend's parents will be there to supervise, you will have separate sleeping accommodations, and this is a family vacation.

I am sure over the years you and your family have discussed responsible behavior. Since Ryan's parents have invited you, it means they trust you. If you conduct yourself accordingly, I see no reason why you shouldn't go.

DEAR ABBY: Since I have retired, I go shopping with my wife more often. I have noticed women putting their purses or wallets in their shopping carts, then turning their backs on them while they look for items they may want to purchase.

Anyone could easily pick up these purses or wallets and walk away with them. I would like to see fewer women doing this because I'm the type of person who would chase someone I saw taking another's purse. I'd probably end up in the hospital. So for my sake, please advise women to keep their purses with them, not leave them in the carts. -- FRANK LAWRENCE, REDWOOD CITY, CALIF.

DEAR FRANK: Far be it from me to endanger your health and safety. Ladies, for Frank's sake, please keep your purses and wallets with you; never leave them unattended.

DEAR ABBY: Since I have retired, I go shopping with my wife more often. I have noticed women putting their purses or wallets in their shopping carts, then turning their backs on them while they look for items they may want to purchase.

Anyone could easily pick up these purses or wallets and walk away with them. I would like to see fewer women doing this because I'm the type of person who would chase someone I saw taking another's purse. I'd probably end up in the hospital. So for my sake, please advise women to keep their purses with them, not leave them in the carts. -- FRANK LAWRENCE, REDWOOD CITY, CALIF.

DEAR FRANK: Far be it from me to endanger your health and safety. Ladies, for Frank's sake, please keep your purses and wallets with you; never leave them unattended.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)