DEAR ABBY: I am writing because your column reaches thousands of people every day, and I'm hoping you'll send a message to all the veterans of all branches of the service.

An item I read in the Savannah, Mo., newspaper said that if a veteran has not registered at a Veterans Affairs Hospital since Oct. 1, 1996, on Oct. 1, 1998, he or she will lose all medical benefits for life. It went on to say that the VA cannot notify veterans about it -— the information must be disseminated by word-of-mouth or by letter.

I called the VA and it is true. This law will affect thousands of veterans, and many will not learn of it before the cutoff date. It's wrong to deny veterans their rights. Abby, please print this information in your column. -— SUE KITCHEN, UNION STAR, MO.

DEAR SUE: I'm pleased to print your letter, although the news article was in error, and the situation is not as bleak as portrayed.

After contacting the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA), I learned that this is a wild rumor spread via the Internet. According to Kenneth W. Kizer, M.D., VA undersecretary for health, "There is good news for veterans who are distressed over INCORRECT information spread via the Internet that suggests they will automatically lose their VA medical benefits if they fail to apply for the VA's new health-care enrollment program by Oct. 1, 1998. It ISN'T SO!

"The VA is required by law to begin an enrollment system for its health-care services by Oct. 1, 1998. However, this does NOT mean veterans who have not applied for enrollment by then necessarily lose their eligibility for VA medical care.

"Veterans can apply at the time they need VA care, before or after Oct. 1. In fact, we have been automatically processing enrollment applications for veterans treated by VA since Oct. 1, 1996.

"Not all veterans who apply may be able to get care, especially higher-income veterans. Enrollment will be based on priority groups specified by law -— the highest priority being given to veterans with service-connected disabilities.

"After enrollment begins, some veterans can still be treated by VA without being enrolled: Veterans with a VA disability rating of 50 percent or higher will receive care without enrolling; veterans with service-connected disabilities will receive care for those disabilities; and veterans discharged while on active duty will receive VA care for those disabilities within the first 12 months of discharge."

DEAR ABBY: The letter from Norm Totey about wearing a complete body armor is an excellent description of a man who is afraid to die. A philosopher of long ago stated that a man who is afraid to die does not know how to live.

Abby, keep up the good work. You are wonderful. -—GEORGE D. LUNDBERG, NACHES, WASH.

DEAR GEORGE: The philosopher may have been right, but you and many of my readers missed the tongue-in-cheek humor in Norm Totey's letter. Read it again with that in mind, and I think you'll agree that it's hilarious.

Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.

DEAR ABBY: I never laughed so hard as I did when I read about "Gwen" in the letter from "Turkeyless in Arkansas." I like that girl! I'm sure there are a lot of "hunting widows" out there who would love to have done the same thing (yell, "Run, turkey, run!")

My response to Gwen: You can do one of two things if your man decides to confront you about your "insensitivity" to his hunting:

1. "RUN, GWEN, RUN!" You will always be second to his hunting. It may be the turkey season now, but next on the list will be deer, bear, elk, moose, rabbit, squirrel, pheasant, duck, etc. If you should marry this guy, expect to wake up alone from late October to early April.

So, if snuggling in the morning is what you like to do, get a teddy bear. Don't make any plans without asking his schedule because morning isn't the only time they go hunting; late afternoons are popular, too. If dinners and movies are what you enjoy on Saturday evenings, take a girlfriend instead. And be sure to keep his "If I Go Hunting One More Time My Wife Is Going to Leave Me ... God, I'm Gonna Miss Her" T-shirt handy at all times. Or, you could:

2. JOIN HIM AND HAVE FUN! That is what I finally did after four years of griping and nagging. When I did, I got the opening-day prize -- a 10-inch bearded gobbler! My husband and I have fun hunting together, although I don't go all the time. It taught me to respect his favorite sport, his hunting buddies and him more!

My suggestion to "Turkeyless in Arkansas" is: If you care enough about Gwen, don't try to force her to love what you do. Has she considered ditching you because you break out in hives whenever she asks you to accompany her to the mall? If you dump her, watch out! Your friend, who has a much better sense of humor than you, may snatch her up, and next year you'll be hunting alone. -- TALKING TURKEY IN FLORIDA

DEAR TALKING TURKEY: I'm printing your letter in the hope that Gwen will spot it. As a hunter's wife, you have laid on the line what she should expect if she marries her boyfriend.

The comments about "Turkeyless in Arkansas" continue unabated. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Turkeyless in Arkansas." Abby, just because this couple are not birds of a feather doesn't mean they can't enjoy a beautiful nest together. There is nothing written that says you must enjoy the other's hobby. In fact, I personally recommend that each have his or her own personal interests -- it makes for more interesting individuals, who in turn enhance each other as a couple.

I'll bet "Turkeyless" would not want to take a special cooking class, but would like his turkey cooked to perfection. According to him, Gwen can cook and she looks good. She can pamper herself while he hunts, and then they can have a wonderful meal together while he feasts his eyes on her.

My husband loves tinkering with his old sprint and midget race cars. I sit in a rocking chair in my special corner of his workshop and do needlework, and we can still share time and conversation. Once in a while I will hand him a tool; occasionally he gives me an opininon on combining colors. Sometimes I accompany him to a vintage auto swap meet, and once in a while he will walk through a quilt display at a fair with me.

Relationships are give-and-take. Both must give and both must take. -- MARRIED TO VROOM-VROOM, SANTA ANA, CALIF.

DEAR MARRIED: Yours sounds like a model marriage. Happy companions make the best mates.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have seen the world. We're getting on in years and find it increasingly difficult to walk long distances, so we decided to stop flying to other countries.

I was concerned about what to do with our accumulated frequent-flier miles when a friend mentioned the Make-A-Wish Foundation. We donated our miles to it, and the foundation granted a young boy with cancer his wish to visit Disneyland.

Abby, many people allow their miles to expire and go to waste. My wife and I have donated more than 60,000 miles to the Make-A-Wish Foundation. We feel great knowing we have helped to grant the wishes of special children. -- SID FISHER, PALM SPRINGS, CALIF.

DEAR SID: Bless you for your far-reaching generosity. The Make-A-Wish Foundation is dedicated to granting the wishes of children with life-threatening illnesses. The airline frequent-flier program benefiting the foundation currently encompasses five major airlines and helps to provide tickets for children whose wishes involve travel.

Readers, if you would like to donate your frequent-flier miles to this worthy cause, call the airline that issued the miles, or visit the Make-A-Wish Foundation Web site at www.wish.org.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem that's eating at me. I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. I am 31 and he is 30. During the last year and a half, we have lived in a house we own together.

My problem: I want to get married, and he says he's scared, confused and doesn't want to end up divorced. I am divorced and have three children. He has never been married and has no children.

He treats me wonderfully and I really don't want to lose him. But marriage is important to me. I love him and he says he loves me -- but I'd like it to be HIS desire to marry me.

Should I give him an ultimatum? -- WANTS TO BE WED

DEAR WANTS: I don't blame you for wanting to be legitimately married. However, you would be making a big mistake to give him an ultimatum. A good rule to follow: Never give anyone an ultimatum unless you are prepared to lose.

DEAR ABBY: You recently printed a poem about there being so much bad in the best of us and good in the worst of us that people shouldn't gossip. You listed the author as "unknown."

I was born in 1919, and hanging in my mother's house since I was a child was a Victorian sketch showing a prone woman and a devil. Written on the sketch was the following:

"There is so much Devil in the best of us

"And so much Angel in the worst of us

"That it doesn't become any of us

"To say much about the rest of us."

In the corner of the picture is "Copyright 1904 by W.S. Childs." I thought you would be interested. -- M.N. REED, THEODORE, ALA.

DEAR M.N.: Thank you for providing the name of the author. Ella Wheeler Wilcox wrote another version:

"There are just two kinds of people on earth today,

"Just two kinds of people, no more, I say;

"Not the good and the bad, for 'tis well understood

"That the good are half bad and the bad are half good.

"No! The two kinds of people on earth I mean

"Are the people who lift and the people who lean."

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)