DEAR ABBY: I have read your column since I was young, and I know you have addressed this topic before, but I'm hoping you'll go over it again.

My husband was married once before. We lived together for a few years and were married a year ago. His 20-year-old son (I'll call him "Sonny") recently bought a new home. In the foyer, Sonny hung a family picture that was taken years ago. It includes his mother, father (my husband), him and his sister.

When I first saw it, my feelings were very hurt. I told my husband I thought it was inappropriate, since the marriage is history and he is now married to me. I wouldn't have a problem with the picture being kept in a photo album -- but in the main entrance to Sonny's house?

Sonny's mother gave him the picture because she no longer wanted it. She has a boyfriend now and has moved on with her life.

The picture doesn't seem to bother my husband. He thinks I'm being ridiculous and petty. He said if it bothers me that much, I should refrain from going over to Sonny's house.

Abby, please give my husband, his son and me some advice about this. I think it's time for all of us to live in the present. I'd like to see a picture of Sonny and his fiancee hanging on the wall instead. Don't you agree? -- PUT OUT IN PENDLETON, IND.

DEAR PUT OUT: You are reading far more into this than is merited. Your stepson may be sentimental about the time when his original family was intact, and no one can fault him for that. Besides, the house belongs to Sonny, and what he chooses to hang on the walls is his business, not yours.

Now that the family has expanded, why not give him a lovely housewarming present -- a beautifully framed picture of you and his father to hang on the wall next to the family portrait? And if you feel particularly generous, offer to treat him to a professional portrait of him and his fiancee to hang on the other side to balance the grouping.

DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading your response to "Confused About Control." You may have overlooked a few key phrases in "Confused's" letter. This man has described warning signs of spousal abuse. His wife is definitely attempting to control him -- and the issue must be addressed quickly before the problem becomes intolerable.

Key to this conclusion: His wife, "Anne," must approve his clothing purchases. Abby, who is purchasing the clothing, and who will be wearing it? Anne is not making suggestions; she throws hissy fits if he doesn't go along with her. This is clearly intimidation, a major characteristic of spouse abuse, which is quite different from simply expressing dislike for some articles of clothing.

She has already begun to complain about his eating habits, his cologne, his job and his bald spot. Anne wants exclusive choice in what he wears, and more, and "Confused" gives in to avoid his wife's tantrums. Next she will be dictating whom he can see, where and when he can go out, when he can use the telephone and whom he can call. This will include his family. And she'll demand he tell her everything he says and does when they are not together.

Abby, please rethink your answer to this man and strongly suggest that he get some help before he becomes a prisoner in his own home. -- KATHRYN L. MARTIN, COUNSELOR, BREMERTON, WASH.

DEAR KATHRYN: Thank you for caring enough to share your professional expertise. I am printing your letter so that "Confused About Control," and other men who find themselves similarly dominated, will recognize the danger and seek help.

Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.

DEAR ABBY: A friend of mine recently asked if I would be the best man at his wedding. Of course, I told him I would be happy to. However, there is one problem: What exactly do I do? I want to make sure I'm performing all the duties that are expected.

Would you please print a "job description" for me and all the other best men out there who are not completely sure what they are doing? It would be greatly appreciated. -- THE BEST, BUT A LITTLE LOST IN NEW YORK

DEAR BEST: It is an honor to be the best man, and one that is usually accorded to a brother or closest friend. As I point out in my booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding," the best man's job is to help the wedding proceed smoothly. The duties vary somewhat, depending on the type of wedding, but they typically include:

-- Making sure the ushers have their attire and appear for the ceremony on time;

-- Providing his own outfit;

-- Acting as a witness and signing the marriage license;

-- Either separately or with the ushers, providing a gift for the groom;

-- Attending the rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner, if there is one;

-- Volunteering to help the bride's mother in any way he can;

-- Arranging for the bachelor dinner;

-- Helping the groom dress and accompanying him to the church;

-- Taking charge of the wedding ring;

-- Presenting the clergy with the envelope containing the fee for the ceremony;

-- Offering the first toast to the bride and groom;

-- Mingling with the guests at the reception;

-- Helping the groom dress for going away;

-- Checking the car and luggage, and reconfirming the hotel reservations;

-- Driving the couple to the airport or hotel.

DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Mother of the New Kid on the Block," whose son is having trouble finding new friends in a one-friend-at-a-time neighborhood, prompts this letter. She said he gets on his bike and goes to another boy's home, only to find the other boy is not allowed to entertain more than one boy at a time.

Why does he have to go to someone else's house?

When our son was small and we moved to a new neighborhood, I invited the four neighbor boys near my son's age to our house on a Saturday afternoon for lemonade, stories and games. They enjoyed themselves so much they came over to our house to play every day. It was no trouble for me because my son was happy playing with his new friends in a safe place. I knew where he was and what he was doing at all times. The other mothers appreciated the fact that their children were supervised.

Yes, it takes some extra effort, but everything worthwhile takes work and commitment.

Abby, I'm glad I did it because my son had a happy childhood and grew up to be a well-adjusted man. -- JUANA O. ACOSTA, OXNARD, CALIF.

DEAR JUANA: Your solution was wise and loving, but it would have been more fair had the other mothers taken turns entertaining the children. Sharing the load lightens the burden.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I live in Seattle, which is famous for its beautiful environment, lovely gardens and quiet neighborhoods -- until summertime, that is. Then out come all the ice cream trucks with their loudspeakers playing obnoxious music over and over at high volume.

I used to look forward to the peaceful summer days when I could be outside and enjoy my garden, but now all I want to do is hide inside with a stack of pillows.

Noise pollution is on the increase in our already overstimulated world. Is it any wonder that people's nerves are frayed? I also feel sorry for the drivers, who must listen to that awful noise eight hours a day. What do you think? -- ICE CREAM TRUCK HATER

DEAR ICE CREAM TRUCK HATER: Don't fight an American institution, akin to Mom and apple pie. No doubt many adults find ice cream trucks annoying; however, they have a timeless appeal to children, and I have even heard some grown-ups admit that the music takes them back to their childhood.

When you hear the truck approaching, cover your ears and observe the delighted expressions on the faces of the children gathered around it. The good humor may be contagious.

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Needs Help in New York."

I was married March 14, and everyone thought it was a beautiful wedding. My parents were thrilled when we told them we were engaged, but they were also financially limited. They told me they would be able to spend "x" amount of money only -- and that's what they did.

My husband's parents gave us a beautiful rehearsal dinner. My husband's brother and sister and their spouses helped foot the bill for the reception. No one was required to take out a loan from anyone.

Our wedding was a collective effort on the part of everyone who loves us -- from those who stood up for us, to those who worked behind the scenes, to those who helped out financially. Our wedding was special and beautiful because those who are dear to us did what they could to make it so.

"Needs Help" should talk with her daughter and her ex-husband and try to come up with a compromise that will make their daughter's wedding what it should be -- a beautiful memory, not a painful monthly payment. You may use my name. -- JENNIFER L. INGRAM, ST. JOSEPH, MO.

DEAR JENNIFER: I agree. And may I add that from your description, your wedding was the ideal -- a joining of two families, accomplished through an outpouring of love and generosity on both sides. Congratulations and continued good fortune.

DEAR ABBY: I read the letter from "Grieving in Orange, Texas," and I decided to write. I am an 11-year-old girl whose family goes to a local nursing home every week to visit the people there. We enjoy the visits tremendously -- and I know for a fact that the patients enjoy our company. -- TRYING TO HELP IN SPRINGFIELD, ORE.

DEAR TRYING TO HELP: Your letter about this wonderful family project made my day, just as I know that your visits to the nursing home make the residents' days.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)