DEAR ABBY: Recently you printed a letter from "Dorothy," who was pleased that people with unwanted babies bring them to a hospital or police station, rather than leaving them to die.

That letter appeared in the Sunday paper on April 5. On the same Sunday, at 4:30 p.m., a newborn baby girl was found abandoned at the coffee lounge in front of the main doors of Legacy Emanuel Hospital's Family Birth Center in Portland, Ore.

I don't know if this was a coincidence, but we had never heard of a baby being left at a hospital before. The infant immediately received the medical care she needed and is doing fine. We nurses loved taking care of her, and we named her Star.

More than 200 people called regarding adopting her. Because of Star, attention was called to hundreds of other children in need of homes. Several of them have found homes!

Star presently is in a loving foster home, and if her mother doesn't come forward, she'll eventually be placed in an adoptive home -- making some family overjoyed, I'm sure.

We don't know the mother's circumstances, or why she felt she needed to leave her child -- but we are so happy her mom left her in a safe place. Wouldn't this be wonderful to read about more often?

I hope Dorothy's letter and this one will encourage mothers in dire circumstances to seek help, or to leave their babies where they'll be taken care of. -- JENNIFER BISSETT, R.N., LEGACY EMANUEL HOSPITAL, PORTLAND, ORE.

DEAR JENNIFER: Thank you for a wonderful upper of a letter. I, and many others, share your wish.

DEAR ABBY: I read your column every day, and it seems that at least once a week part of it is devoted to domestic violence. One would think that this problem is rampant in our country. However, there's another side to this subject that needs to be addressed.

All a woman has to do is charge her spouse with domestic violence, and he is automatically considered guilty and immediately removed from the house. My son's estranged wife has done this three times. The first time, the charges were dismissed. The second time, she dropped the charges when she learned that he had taped the incident, proving that she had no grounds.

The third incident is coming to trial soon. My son is sure to win the case, as it is obviously bogus, but there is nothing to prevent her from doing it again.

In the meantime, her boyfriend is living in the house my son is paying for.

I certainly agree that there should be no tolerance for domestic violence. However, the fact that many women are claiming it for their own purposes must be recognized. Speaking to police and attorneys, I am aware that this practice is much more common than the general public is aware.

I cannot sign my name, as my son's case is still in the courts, but I hope that you'll devote some space in your column to this growing problem. Sign me ... SEEKING JUSTICE

DEAR SEEKING: Thank you for pointing out that there are usually two sides to every story. I hope your son not only wins, but his wife will cease and desist from making her false charges.

Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.

DEAR ABBY: Thank you for your recent response to "Pleased in the Sunshine State," whose daughter and son-in-law were helped by Planned Parenthood. Years ago, they helped me, too.

In 1970, when I was 16 years old, I met a man who was 23. Two years later, we were still together and talking seriously about marriage. I knew we were young. My one request was that we wait to have children. My fiance agreed.

My parents had never spoken to me about sex, much less birth control, so I knew nothing about how to avoid becoming pregnant after we were married. I decided to do my senior term paper on methods of birth control. In my research, I discovered Planned Parenthood.

When I explained that I wanted the information for my term paper, they offered to send a speaker to school to speak to my class. On the day of the presentation, many students were late for their next class! The hunger for knowledge that these 17- and 18-year-olds possessed was astonishing. The presenter used visual aids and handouts, and the students' questions were answered honestly and fully. One classmate was seven months pregnant. I wonder if her pregnancy could have been avoided had such an open, frank lecture been given seven months earlier.

I followed Planned Parenthood's advice, and when my husband and I had been married for three years, we decided to start our family. We had our two beautiful children when we knew we were financially stable and mature enough to care for them properly.

Planned Parenthood offers a safe, professional environment where people can take their questions and fears, and be assured they will receive honest information and reliable care for their needs.

If your readers are interested in a presentation like the one given at my school so many years ago, they should contact Planned Parenthood. Education and prevention should be everyone's priority. -- MARY CRUZ CAMPO

DEAR MARY: Although not every school district across the country will allow Planned Parenthood to send educators to their campus, Planned Parenthood is vitally interested in providing education and information wherever it's needed. To arrange for an educational presentation, those who are interested should contact their local Planned Parenthood office.

DEAR ABBY: In response to "Anonymous, Naturally," who was frustrated with late customers, I must share this story about our visit to Ireland:

Unaware of the closing time, my husband and I began shopping in a haberdashery shop in Dublin. The lone clerk began covering the tabled merchandise with large sheets. (That should have been a clue.) We told the clerk we wanted to buy an Irish cap for my husband, and we had come all the way from California in the United States to purchase it.

The clerk's comment was, "Ye should ha'e left 15 minutes earlier!" -- MARIE M. PEDERSON, SANTA MARIA, CALIF.

DEAR MARIE: Faith and begorra, the clerk ha'e a quick wit -- not uncommon for the Irish. Thanks for sharing your story; it tickled my funny bone.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have read your column for many years, and we have learned a lot from you. Never did I think I would have to write to you for advice.

Abby, my 28-year-old son, a medical student and a very bright young man, met a young woman about a year ago. Both of our daughters like this young woman, and so do we. I mention this because of the many women our son has brought home who failed to hit it off well with our daughters.

Our son and this girl decided to get married in late March. Invitations were mailed, plans were finalized, and everything seemed to be OK. Seventy-two hours before the ceremony was supposed to take place, we were notified by our son that the wedding was canceled. Despite this cancellation, we drove to see them in the city where the marriage was to take place. Our son was distraught, as was his bride.

He wanted to get married and then get counseling. (The counseling condition was made by her.) She insisted they get counseling first and then get married, if that was still feasible. She had her reasons -- he had his.

Our problem is, the wedding gifts from her friends, and our friends, had arrived. We expected that those gifts would be returned promptly, but neither she nor our son has shown any urgency. Personally, we don't care what she does with the gifts from her side of the family. But we are from the old school and cannot condone this behavior. Both our daughters are telling us to stay out of it. As things stand, there is a possibility that they might marry later.

What do you suggest? How do we act toward our friends? Please help us clear up this mess and please don't print our name or location. -- RED-FACED PARENTS

DEAR RED-FACED: Your daughters have the right idea. Cross your fingers and pray that your son and his fiancee work out their problems in counseling.

As for your friends, if any of them should ask, tell them the truth -- the wedding has been postponed, and if there's anything further to report you'll be delighted to tell them. If they're your friends, they'll be understanding.

The proper thing for your son and his fiancee to do would be to acknowledge the gifts with a short note, explaining that due to unforeseen circumstances the wedding has been postponed. And if it is canceled, of course, the gifts should be returned.

DEAR ABBY: "Lost in North Carolina" wrote, "Please help me..." because she was left with a 3-year-old, no money and herpes when Harry moved out. She felt that no one else would ever want her.

Please reassure her that it is not true. For 10 happy years I have been married to a lady who was in the same situation as "Lost." In the very early stages of our courtship she told me, "A long time ago in a faraway place, someone gave me a gift I am not happy with but can do nothing about." It was herpes. It mattered not to me who, when or where, as I saw a wonderful person who was willing to share her life with me.

During our years of intimacy, I have avoided catching the disease by avoiding intercourse during her outbreaks, and by the grace of God. Every day I find this wonderful woman more caring, loving and exciting.

I would have missed many years of happiness had I turned away after hearing her "story"! -- CAUGHT THE BRASS RING

DEAR CAUGHT: You sound like an intelligent and discerning man who married his match. I wish you both many more years of happiness together.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)