DEAR ABBY: I am a woman in my late 30s. I am on my second marriage. I was 18 when I married the first time and we had two children. We divorced while the children were young. I met another man and married him within a year. We have one child together.
Abby, I am very unhappy because I have never experienced being on my own. I have such a strong desire to do this that it is making my life miserable. I can hardly stand being home and am starting to resent my family. I love them very much, but I feel that I have missed out by never having lived as a single person. I can't imagine leaving this earth without making this one dream come true.
Sometimes on the way home from work, I feel like driving past my house without stopping. I know that isn't the right way to handle this. I'm so torn. Please help. -- WONDERING WHAT I'M MISSING
DEAR WONDERING: First of all, stop looking at living alone as an unrealized dream and think of it as a fantasy. Instead of glamorizing life alone, consider for a moment the drawbacks -- lonely nights, increased responsibilities, financial pressures, etc. Everyone wonders what life is like on the other side of the fence. Usually, reality is far different from the idealized mental image.
Talk to your husband about ways for you to have time alone: a weekend retreat, or a couple of evenings a month with female friends or by yourself. A creative compromise could save your marriage, not to mention your sanity. So please stop wondering what you're missing and thank the good Lord for what you have.