DEAR ABBY: As the mother of a teen-age girl who has chosen to have sex, I urge other parents to look at the reasons their teen is going outside the family for affection and attention. Perhaps instead of feeling devastated by the fact that their daughter is no longer a virgin, parents should explore the other things going on in her life.
The girl should be made aware that because she has said "yes" once doesn't mean she has to say it again and again. There is a growing movement for "secondary virgins."
I urge parents to have meaningful discussions with their SONS about their responsibility in the matter. Teen-age girls should not have to accept the entire responsibility. Not only are 13- and 14-year-old girls having sex, 13- and 14-year-old BOYS are also having sex. They, too, need information and responsible advice. -- DISAPPOINTED BUT SEEKING HELP
DEAR DISAPPOINTED: Your daughter did not become sexually active because she was looking for the kind of affection and attention she could receive from her family. The reasons that teen-age girls start having sex can range from wanting to be popular, to thinking it will "hold" a boyfriend, to loneliness or curiosity.
However, I wholeheartedly agree that because a teen-ager has sex once does not mean that she (or he) must do it again.