DEAR ABBY: I love reading your column. A couple of years ago, I read a piece on forgiveness and realized that, like many other people, I don't know how to forgive or ask for forgiveness. Your column helped. Would you please run it again? -- MRS. G.S.K.P., LAKE WORTH, FLA.

DEAR MRS. G.S.K.P.: Pleased to oblige. Since this is International Forgiveness Week, your letter is timely. The poem you requested was written by George Roemisch.

FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness is the wind-blown bud

which blooms in placid beauty at Verdun.

Forgiveness is the tiny slate-gray sparrow

which has built its nest of twigs and string

among the shards of glass upon the wall of shame.

Forgiveness is the child who laughs in merry ecstasy

beneath the toothed fence that closes in Da Nang.

Forgiveness is the fragrance of the violet

which still clings fast to the heel that crushed it.

Forgiveness is the broken dream

which hides itself within the corner of the mind

oft called forgetfulness so that it will not bring

pain to the dreamer.

Forgiveness is the reed

which stands up straight and green

when nature's mighty rampage halts, full spent.

Forgivness is a God who will not leave us

after all we've done.

So, dear readers, a gentle reminder: If perchance you are the "heel" that crushed a violet -- this is the week to seek forgiveness.

DEAR ABBY: I received a down comforter for Christmas. It has done such a great job of keeping me toasty warm, I wake in the middle of the night sweating. Yet if I throw off the comforter, I find myself freezing again. (My parents gave me the comforter because I constantly complained about how cold the house is.)

One of my friends suggested that I sleep in the nude. She started doing it herself after she got an electric blanket. I tried it a few times and it works. I no longer wake up sweating.

I am writing because I feel guilty about sleeping in the nude. Nobody knows that I sleep in the nude. I keep a full-length robe that completely conceals my body to slip on when I get out of bed, but I still fear that I'm doing something wrong. My friend, who also sleeps in the nude, tried to reassure me that what I am doing is not immoral -- and she is more active in our church than I am. But it hasn't erased my doubts. Can you help? I want to continue sleeping in the nude, but want to do so guilt-free. -- NAKED UNDER THE FEATHERS

DEAR NAKED: As long as you sleep alone, why should you feel guilty? Sleeping in the nude is harmless. It's neither indecent nor immoral. And since you keep a bathrobe handy, I see no reason why you shouldn't continue if you're more comfortable that way.

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I read with interest the letter in your column from "I'd Rather Be Alone." I agree with what you and she said, but I was disappointed that you let her get away with saying there are far too many verbally abusive HUSBANDS out there. Out of fairness, there are too many abusive PEOPLE. It is a stereotype to think that only men are abusive.

I was in a verbally abusive marriage for 11 years. My wife would yell, scream and swear at me in front of our children. When I tried to leave the house, she would block the door with her body and tell me I couldn't leave. She would belittle me, call me names and berate me for things that she had done.

Years of counseling did not help. She was powerless to change her behavior, and I finally had to file for divorce. Please, Abby, it's not always the man who is the abuser. -- ALONE AND RECOVERING IN OREGON

DEAR ALONE AND RECOVERING: If I implied that only males are verbally abusive, I apologize, for that was not my intention. A pattern of verbal abuse is far more serious than an occasional lapse of temper; it's about controlling one's partner. It's intended to drain the victim of confidence, and its volume increases so that the victim is thrown off balance and reeling from emotional battering. If abusive behavior cannot be resolved with therapy, the sensible solution is to end the relationship -- as you did.

DEAR ABBY: I am a widow. How do I announce my daughter's engagement? My daughter and I want to include her late father's name, but are unsure if it is proper. Is there a correct form for this? -- ASKING IN OLYMPIA, WASH.

DEAR ASKING: According to Emily Post's "Complete Book of Wedding Etiquette," the wording for the newspaper announcement of your daughter's engagement should be: "Mrs. Bob Smith announces the engagement of her daughter, Miss Roberta Smith, to Alan Jones, etc. Miss Smith is also the daughter of the late Bob Smith."

When it is time to send the wedding invitations, use this wording:

"Together with their families, Roberta Smith, daughter of Alice Smith and the late Bob Smith, and Alan Jones, son of Mr. and Mrs. Mark Jones," etc.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 32-year-old, well-built woman who is often told that I'm very attractive. I am also gay, and have been in a committed relationship for six years.

At work, men frequently hit on me and ask, "Do you have a boyfriend?" Although the town I live in is fairly open-minded, I don't really want to "out" myself to clients, because not all of them are open-minded, and I don't want to cost my company any business because some clients may be bigoted. How should I rebuff such verbal advances? -- ANONYMOUS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR ANONYMOUS: Say, "I'm flattered -- but I'm already involved with someone."

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a retired psychiatrist who became blind as a result of a gunshot wound during a burglary in my home. Since that time I have relied on my guide dog, Alder, to maintain my independence. I was very pleased to see the letter in your column from Carl Augusto of the American Foundation for the Blind, which gave people tips on what sighted people should do when they meet a blind person. I'd like to add a few points that weren't covered, specifically about what people should and should not do when meeting a blind person with a guide dog.

Alder is a friendly 3-year-old black lab, and people's first inclination is to pet him. However, when guide dogs are working, they are responsible for the safety of their masters. Petting, distracting, or worse, feeding guide dogs while they are working can be very dangerous. A distracted dog may lead its master into a harmful situation. Also, if you see a blind person with a guide dog whom you suspect may need assistance, please ask that person first. He or she can tell you how to safely provide help without interfering with the dog.

Abby, thank you for giving me this opportunity to let people know about a subject that is so important to those of us who rely on our guide dogs. -- JOHN PHELAN, M.D., WESTLAKE VILLAGE, CALIF.

DEAR DR. PHELAN: I'm passing along the message. A person walking with a guide dog should not be mistaken for someone taking a stroll with a pet. The animal is working and should not be petted.

It's fine to comment that the dog is beautiful, dutiful or well-trained. But anything beyond that could be seriously distracting.

DEAR ABBY: I've been married to the greatest man for the last eight years. We have only one problem. Because he's an avid golfer and I'm not, he promised me, before we were married, one vacation each year anywhere in the world. The choice is entirely mine to make.

Our travels so far have included India, Nepal, Vietnam, etc. In October, we have a cruise scheduled to the Middle East (Oman, Yemen, United Arab Emirates and Kuwait.) Abby, he absolutely refuses to go! The cruise line assures me that they won't sail if the Persian Gulf is not safe.

My husband reads only the sports section and your column in our local paper, so I know he'll see your answer. Shouldn't he keep his premarital travel agreement? Please advise. -- RESTLESS IN RANCHO MIRAGE

DEAR RESTLESS: The U.S. government issues travel advisories to alert American tourists when certain countries are experiencing a political climate that might be dangerous to them. Your travel agent should be able to reassure your husband that he won't be cruising into hostile waters.

However, that may not be the core issue. Regardless of the premarital agreement, joint vacations are meant to be enjoyed by both parties. Since you have the money, surely there is some other area of the world you could visit that you would both enjoy without one party being fearful. Why not negotiate?

DEAR ABBY: Approximately 12 years ago, a close male friend had a little too much to drink. I offered him a place to spend the night -- the other side of my bed. Nothing happened between us. We just slept in the same bed. A few weeks later, my friend introduced me to my future husband. We have been happily married for 10 years.

Recently my husband and some buddies at work were discussing the things women tell their husbands. He mentioned the above situation. None of the men believed this could happen, so now my husband does not believe me.

How many of your readers have had a similar experience? I would love to prove his buddies wrong. -- CLEARING MY NAME, NOT MY CONSCIENCE

DEAR CLEARING: Many men and women have shared a bed all night and nothing has happened. This includes married couples. Trust me. Readers, I welcome your input.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)