DEAR ABBY: This is good advice any time of the year, but especially now that the weather is cold. Please tell your readers to locate the main water shut-off valve in the house and make sure it's in good working order now, before they have an internal water leak.

I work as a dispatcher, and you would be surprised at the number of people who call and don't know where the water meter and shut-off valves are located. They become frantic when a pipe breaks and causes damage, and demand that a water company representative respond immediately to turn off the water.

Most water companies are not responsible for internal leaks, but that's hard to explain to a panicked customer.

While they are at it, they should also locate and inspect the shut-offs for sinks, toilets, washing machines, etc. -- WATER COMPANY DISPATCHER

DEAR DISPATCHER: Good advice. People should also make sure the wrench they may need is handy and that they know how to use it.

DEAR ABBY: I'll get straight to the point. I lie too much. Sometimes I lie about little things, but other times I lie about big things.

Last week, I woke up and realized that my habit of lying was wrong, and one day I'll have to pay for it.

I've tried to stop, but over and over I catch myself doing it again. I want to talk to my mom about this, but when I get ready to ask her for help, I feel embarrassed and scared.

Abby, I desperately need your advice. -- NEEDS ADVICE IN VIRGINIA

DEAR NEEDS ADVICE: You're right -- someday you will have to pay for your lies if you continue.

When you find yourself lying, confess immediately that you stretched the truth or embroidered it -- then apologize. Most people will be forgiving when you immediately admit a wrong.

Not only will you feel better about yourself, you won't have to keep track of all the lies so you can cover for them.

Don't hesitate to ask your mother to assist you in breaking this habit. She loves you and wants the best for you, so go ahead and talk to her about it while you have the desire to quit.

DEAR ABBY: My husband passed away many years ago when our children were very young. I have remained close to his family and they are a big part of my children's lives.

I am planning to remarry and don't know if I should stop referring to them as my in-laws. We will always be close, but I don't want to hurt them or offend my new in-laws.

Abby, how should I refer to "old" in-laws? -- IN-LAW RICH IN NEW YORK STATE

DEAR IN-LAW RICH: Your in-laws are now your former in-laws, except in some cases in which the IRS states that they are in-laws 'til death do ye part. However, since you are on such friendly terms with them, continue to call them "Mom," "Dad," "sister-in-law," etc. In view of the emotional attachment, it's justified.

CONFIDENTIAL TO MY JEWISH READERS: Happy Hanukkah!

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 26-year-old married mother-to-be. Lately, I have been increasingly frustrated with children calling adults by their first name. I am not talking about adults to whom the children are closely related; I am talking about neighbors, friends, parents, etc. I have recently been introduced to the children of several acquaintances and neighbors by my first name. I realize that I am not elderly, but I AM an adult.

I was always taught to respect my elders and to refer to them as "Mr.," "Mrs." or "Miss" unless invited to do otherwise. It is not the children's fault -- it is the adults who allow them to do this.

I plan on raising my children to follow this rule of thumb: If you're not sure what a person prefers to be called, ASK! Some adults don't mind young children calling them by their first names, but have we become so informal that everyone is now a Tom or a Nancy? How do I get around this without sounding like a stick-in-the-mud? -- OLD-FASHIONED IN READING, PA.

DEAR OLD-FASHIONED: You are correct in your statement that your dilemma is caused by the thoughtlessness on the part of the parents, who should ask you, before the introductions are made, how you would like the children to address you.

Deal with this by making your wishes known in a friendly way. When a parent introduces you as "Nancy," say with a smile, "When Jimmy and Janie are 21, they may call me Nancy. But for now, I'd prefer to be called Mrs. Smith." And then direct a friendly comment (or question) to the child.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing this letter to warn parents how easily kids can get into things when you least expect it. My niece (I'll call her Karen) and her 1-year-old daughter, "Kimberly," were at home. Karen was in the kitchen and Kimberly was in the bedroom.

Karen became concerned because she couldn't hear what Kimberly was doing. When she checked on her, Karen found that the child had gotten hold of her purse and had the strap wrapped around her neck. Kimberly's lips were turning blue and she was very pale. Karen unwrapped the purse strap from around the child's neck and attended to her. Karen was terrified, but thankful that she had checked on Kimberly when she did.

It's amazing, Abby. My niece and her husband had baby-proofed the electrical outlets, kitchen and bathroom cabinets, and even put doorknob covers on doors they didn't want Kimberly to open. Now, after that frightening afternoon, Karen also makes sure she puts her purse, diaper bag or anything else with straps out of reach. -- AN AUNT IN DENVER WHO CARES

DEAR AUNT WHO CARES: Thank you for the warning. I'm sharing it with my readers, along with the reminder that drapery cords and those for venetian blinds can also be very dangerous for toddlers and small children, and should be kept out of reach of tiny hands.

DEAR ABBY: I need to know the proper thing to do with my wedding rings. My husband and I have been married for 12 years, and are now divorcing. He is 85 and I am 73. This is his third marriage and my second. My first husband died after 38 years of marriage.

My husband purchased the rings for his first wife, gave the same ones to his second wife, and then to me. He has now asked me to return them. I really don't feel like giving them back, but I want to do the right thing. This is a mutual, friendly separation, and we are planning to visit each other after he moves out of state. Will you please tell me the proper way to handle this? -- ELOISE IN ASHEVILLE, N.C.

DEAR ELOISE: Since the rings were originally purchased for his first wife, be a lady and return them to your about-to-be-ex-husband. However, I wouldn't blame you if, as a condition, you request that he replace them with a lovely cocktail ring.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: In this hectic and often confusing world in which we live, one of the most priceless treasures I possess is a happy and mutually sustaining marriage. Hanging in our bedroom is a wall plaque we received on our wedding day, almost 20 years ago. Over the years and through various moves, it has accompanied us and always found a place of honor in our home. The author's name is not shown. I wish I knew who wrote these beautiful sentiments, for although 20 years have passed, the words of wisdom are timeless. Perhaps you will find it worth sharing with your readers. -- VALERY STEWART, OXNARD, CALIF.,

DEAR VALERY: Indeed I do -- and here it is. Read on:

THE ART OF MARRIAGE

A good marriage must be created.

In marriage, the little things are the big things ...

Never being too old to hold hands.

Remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.

Never going to sleep angry.

Having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.

Standing together facing the world.

Forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.

Speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

Having the capacity to forgive and forget, and then forgetting what you forgave.

Giving each other an atmosphere in which to grow.

Not only MARRYING the right person, but BEING the right partner.

DEAR ABBY: Re: visible house addresses. As a longtime member of an ambulance corps, I endorse making house numbers visible from the street. More than once I have had to run up and down a street trying to locate the house from which 911 was called because someone was having chest pains, or worse. In addition to having visible house numbers, if possible someone should be stationed at the front door or outside to signal to the responding emergency personnel.

I do not agree, however, with encouraging your readers to find or start a group to paint curbside addresses. While this practice can be helpful in certain circumstances, it is worthless when snow, ice or leaves cover the curb.

The efforts of those who want to help should concentrate on your last suggestion: Your street numbers should be clearly visible from the street and well-lighted at night. -- C.B. YOUNG JR., RAMSEY, N.J.

DEAR C.G.: Sorry, living in sunny California, I failed to consider adverse weather conditions in other sections of the country. I should have thought about parked cars blocking curbside numbers. I concede that clearly visible numbers on the house is the better idea.

Other readers complained about places of business not having address numbers that are easy to spot. Those could be important to emergency personnel as well as to customers.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)