DEAR ABBY: I laughed out loud when I saw your column featuring famous sayings with original endings provided by a fourth-grade class in Ventura County, Calif.
At our computer Web site, the Geezer Brigade for "seniors with an attitude," a competition was held to see if Geezers couldn't outdo the little whippersnappers. Here are the results:
APHORISMS FOR THE '90s FROM THE GEEZER BRIGADE
-- All that glitters is not ... necessarily something you want your only daughter sticking through a hole in her nose.
-- The early bird catches ... hell from the union.
-- A penny saved is ... something you could've invested in the biggest bull market in history, if only you hadn't listened to your idiot brother-in-law.
-- The road to hell is ... paved.
-- If you can't stand the heat ... hire an assistant.
-- The squeaky wheel ... got to be lead singer in my son's rock group.
-- It's always darkest just before ... you try to find your seat in a movie theater.
-- To err is ... not permitted by the IRS, and to forgive is unheard of!
-- JOHN KERNELL, CHARLESTON, S.C.
DEAR JOHN: If some people are curious about what seniors are doing with computers these days, your letter should put their curiosity to rest.