DEAR ABBY: Several years ago you published the address for International Soundex Reunion Registry in Carson City, Nev. Please print it again and again.

When I was 17, I gave birth to a baby girl and put her up for adoption. I had no choice about it. I wanted her to have a good life. I always wanted to know my daughter and wanted her to know how much I loved her, so when she reached 18, I registered with ISRR. I faced a lot of criticism when I decided to let her find me.

Yesterday, she found me! It is the most wonderful, amazing thing that has ever happened to me. I've waited 33 years to know her and it was well worth the wait. She's beautiful inside and out, articulate and a college graduate. Never a day went by that her parents didn't let her know how loved she was.

When she walked in, she handed me a gift and said, "Happy Mother's Day." I have no other children and have waited all my life to hear those words. She had been searching for me since 1996, and had sent her registration to ISRR last week. At 4:30 Tuesday afternoon they called her and told her they had found her mother.

I'd like to offer a huge thank-you to the Websters for taking such good care of Laura Marie, and for guiding her and raising her. Her mother died last July of lung cancer, and I am heartbroken that I could not know her.

Another huge thank-you to International Soundex Reunion Registry. They made it all possible! To birth parents and adoptees: Register with Soundex. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Abby, please feel free to publish any or all of my letter, and our names. I want the world to know how happy we are. -- KATHLEEN KOEHLER, SANTA ANA, CALIF.

DEAR KATHLEEN AND LAURA MARIE: I'm pleased that your search ended so happily. It's gratifying to know I was able to help you find each other. Congratulations to you both.

The International Soundex Reunion Registry is a group I have recommended for many years. They are efficient, honest, and operate with the philosophy that neither the identity of the birth parents nor the adopted child shall be disclosed unless all parties are agreeable to a reunion. Birth parents and children can register, and when the children reach legal age -- if both parties are registered and want to find each other -- a match is made.

The address is: International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR), P.O. Box 2312, Carson City, Nev. 89702. Send a long (business size), stamped, self-addressed envelope to the registry and request Soundex forms.

DEAR ABBY: I am fuming! I heard it again today on the news -- I refer to the term "elderly." It went something like this:

"The elderly 63-year-old woman was able to give the police a description of her stolen automobile ..."

Abby, I am 69 years old and do not consider myself "elderly." Perhaps I don't walk as fast as I used to, but I still perform all my duties with enthusiasm and a clear mind. So I ask you, Abby, what age is "elderly"? -- JUST WONDERING IN CHICAGO HEIGHTS

DEAR WONDERING: My dictionary defines "elderly" as "being past middle age," a definition with which a growing number of people might disagree. I suspect that when many people use the term "elderly," what they really mean is "decrepit," which means "wasted and weakened by, or as if by, the infirmities of old age," which is no compliment.

Readers, please write and tell me how YOU would define "elderly."

Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.

DEAR ABBY: Several weeks ago I began dating a man I care for very much. We discussed a future together and things seemed to fall into place. We thought it was wise to have HIV testing before we got too intimate -- which means we were very cautious -- but we did become intimate.

His test came back positive. He wasn't too shocked, nor was I. I care deeply for this man. He's 38 and I'm 31. We both have been married several times, and now I feel like I should never be with anyone else. I know the risk involved with staying with him. However, I can't imagine not being there when he needs me.

His lifestyle has changed in the last few months, and if he continues living a healthy lifestyle, he could live a fairly normal life, which I'd very much like to be part of.

I don't worry about his giving me AIDS, but I do worry about how I will take care of him if and when he gets sick. I have two wonderful kids ages 9 and 5. I want to see them grow up and have families of their own.

I've believed in God all my life, and never thought he would put me in a situation like this. I can't seem to understand what God wants from me, although I pray a lot lately. I'm afraid to consult our pastor with this private problem.

Can you help me sort this out? -- FAITHFUL MISSOURI READER

DEAR FAITHFUL READER: The recent breakthroughs in AIDS therapy have given new hope to many people. With luck, your boyfriend will be one of them.

According to Mervyn Silverman, M.D., past president of the American Foundation for AIDS Research (AmFAR), with proper protection, you can significantly reduce your risk and maintain your negative HIV status. Obviously this means NEVER letting your guard down, and always using protection with penetrative sex. For information on the best preventive methods, contact your local or state AIDS office.

Your boyfriend seems to be doing well, and with the new drug therapies, he could continue to do well for many years. However, should his condition worsen, there are home-care agencies to help you with his care. And in many communities there are support groups for caregivers of people with HIV. You should both look for the resources available to you. A call to the Centers for Disease Control AIDS hotline (1-800-342-2437) can help you in your search.

I wish you both the very best of luck.

DEAR ABBY: Our dad, age 60, divorced our mom five years ago, after 26 years of marriage. There are six children. Dad is soon to be married to a divorced woman with three grown children and grandchildren.

Shortly after our parents' divorce, Dad inherited a substantial amount of money because of the death of his mother and his aunt. Both his mother (our grandmother) and his aunt had intended that the six of us would be remembered through our father.

Would it be appropriate for us to ask Dad to make a prenuptial agreement to ensure our grandmother's and aunt's wishes are honored? -- THE WONDERING SIX

DEAR WONDERING SIX: I have said many times that a prenuptial agreement is a good idea for couples with property and children from previous marriages. However, the person to discuss that subject with your father should be his attorney, because although it shouldn't be, the issue is often emotionally charged.

Call your dad's attorney and suggest he (or she) talk to your father about prenuptial agreements.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm sending you an article that was published by the SPCA of Texas. It brought me to tears when I read it, knowing how many owners abuse and neglect their pets. It also reminded me how much my little dog loves and depends on me.

Please, please put this in your column with the hope that it might make even one abusive pet owner stop abusing his or her pet, or just as a reminder to other pet owners about how sensitive and loving their pets are. If it saves even one helpless pet from further abuse or neglect, it will be worth space in your column. -- LISA D. FOURNIER, ALLEN, TEXAS

DEAR LISA: I think it's excellent, and well worth sharing with my readers. I hope those who need the message will take it to heart. Read on:

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR A RESPONSIBLE PET OWNER

1. My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years. Any separation from you will be very painful.

2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.

3. Place your trust in me -- it is crucial for my well-being.

4. Don't be angry with me for long, and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment. I HAVE ONLY YOU!

5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I understand your voice when it's speaking to me.

6. Be aware that however you treat me, I'll NEVER forget it.

7. Before you hit me, remember that I have teeth that could easily crush the bones in your hand, but I choose not to bite you.

8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I've been out in the sun too long, or my heart may be getting old and weak.

9. Take care of me when I get old. You, too, will grow old.

10. Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say, "I can't bear to watch it" or, "Let it happen in my absence." Everything is easier for ME if you are there. Remember, I love you.

DEAR ABBY: I am a writer of short stories and poetry, but I think I would have to ponder a long time to top the letter I read in your column a few weeks ago.

It concerned a woman who was cremated and her ashes spread over the family plot, to give life to the wildflowers -- only to have a drought set in. Still she produced an abundance of forget-me-nots.

Truly a tale of God's love for those understanding his promise and how he will carry it through. Thank you and the lady for sharing it. -- MEL IN PHOENIX

DEAR MEL: Thank you for the kind words. Her letter touched me, too.

DEAR ABBY: Dr. James Prentice of Austin, Texas, wrote to you about being on the set of "That Hagen Girl" in 1947 and seeing "a young Ronald Reagan and a young actress whose name I don't recall."

I wonder how many people wrote to say that the young actress was probably Shirley Temple in her first "grown-up" role? -- MARGARET BROMBAUER, MILWAUKEE

DEAR MARGARET: A dozen -- but your letter was the first to arrive, so yours is the one I'm printing. Thanks for setting the record straight.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)