DEAR ABBY: We live in earthquake country, and my family has always been prepared for any emergency that may occur. We have a large area in our basement containing bedding, clothing, food, water and medical supplies for a family of four.

We recently experienced a rather alarming tremor, and my neighbor called to express her fright. When I told her we were prepared for emergencies, she replied, "Well, great! Now we'll know where to come just in case."

Abby, how could I have answered her without being insulting? Surely neighbors should not be responsible for the welfare of others if they are capable of providing for themselves. -- SHOOK IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR SHOOK: You could have told your neighbor that in the event of a serious emergency, you and your family might be unable to provide for guests -- and if she hasn't already done so, she should see that her family is also prepared. It would have been an honest response, and also good advice.

DEAR ABBY: I am 71. One year ago I was healthy and leading a productive life. Then my car was rear-ended by a careless driver.

I would never have believed a person could suffer so much pain from what seemed like such a small accident. I have been in and out of the hospital several times, in such pain I could not cope with it. The doctor kept me so heavily sedated I remember very little (and sometimes nothing) about several weeks of my life.

To make a long story short: I now realize that I had become totally dependent on all the prescription drugs the doctor ordered. I decided to get off them, but it has been really hard.

I realize the doctor was trying to help me, but I was not aware of how dependent I had become. If I can't get off them, I will be a drug addict. Abby, that's not the way I want to live.

Sometimes the pain gets so bad it's hard not to go back on the pills, but with the help of the Lord and my nonprescription medicine, I'm doing pretty well -- which is better than the other way. -- TRYING TO GET UNHOOKED

DEAR TRYING: Although I respect the healing power of prayer, nonprescription drugs can also be harmful if they are taken in larger or more frequent doses than the directions indicate.

Please ask your doctor for a referral to a physician who specializes in pain management. There are other methods, such as biofeedback, which have been helpful in alleviating chronic pain. You could benefit greatly by checking this out. I wish you the best of luck.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I met on a bus and were married five weeks later. On June 9, we celebrated our 63rd wedding anniversary.

We had a wonderful dinner with champagne so we could toast each other -- and we have decided to celebrate our marriage with a similar celebration on the ninth of every month.

We think it's a good idea, because it's too long to wait for another full year to go by. -- LILI HOLLOPETER, PASADENA, CALIF.

DEAR LILI: I think your idea has merit. When two people love each other, every day is Thanksgiving and every night is New Year's Eve.

My belated good wishes on 63 years of wedded bliss. May you have many more happy years together.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have received many phone calls since the appearance of Carol A. Tauer's letter in your column. Her otherwise interesting and informative letter concerning the ethical implications of the Catholic Church's position on the seal of the confessional contained a couple of errors that I hope you will correct.

It is well known in the Bay Area professional community that I was the treating psychologist (not psychiatrist, as Ms. Tauer states) at Cowell Memorial Hospital on the University of California-Berkeley campus for the patient who murdered Tatina Tarasoff.

Ms. Tauer, an ethics teacher in a Catholic college, said in her letter, "On appeal, the California Supreme Court rejected the psychiatrist's argument supporting absolute confidentiality, saying that a psychiatrist had a duty to warn or protect an identifiable potential victim ..."

But Abby, I never argued for complete confidentiality. When the patient told me of his intention to kill Ms. Tarasoff, I immediately informed the local police (in this case, the University of California Campus Police Department) and wrote a legal letter of commitment (countersigned by the chief psychiatrist of our department) with the intent of hospitalizing my patient. This was exactly the procedure directed by law at that time (1969).

The campus police interviewed my patient and released him, stating that he was "harmless." I wrote a SECOND letter of commitment -- again to no avail -- and contacted the police several more times urging them to save Ms. Tarasoff. They refused to act, and the patient stabbed Ms. Tarasoff to death.

Ms. Tauer's letter implies that I sat back passively, allowing a brutal and unnecessary murder to occur. The truth is I fought vigorously (but unsuccessfully) to prevent this act. Probably, Ms. Tauer refers to a "friend of the court" brief offered by the American Psychiatric Association in which they (not I) argued for complete confidentiality. -- LAWRENCE EARLE MOORE, PH.D., SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR DR. MOORE: Thank you for your letter. I received a great deal of mail concerning the issue of confidentiality, reflecting heated opinions on both sides of the question.

However, I want to make one point absolutely clear to my readers: You did, in fact, warn the police on at least two occasions. You did NOT rely upon any claim of confidentiality to keep the threats secret.

The Supreme Court opinion cited by Ms. Tauer does not make clear that you attempted to have the patient committed and did not keep the matter confidential.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 62-year-old man who has been divorced for 25 years. I recently retired on a modest income and would like to travel twice a year to various places.

The problem is when I see an ad or a bargain on travel prices, it is so much per person, double occupancy. I enjoy my solitude and would prefer to take these trips alone. Aren't there more options for a single person other than singles cruises that don't penalize one for traveling alone? I would appreciate any information you can provide. -- TROUBLED TOURIST

DEAR TROUBLED TOURIST: Several travel agents confirmed that there are no price breaks for people traveling alone. Rooms and/or cabins are made to accommodate a minimum of two people, and hotels or cruise lines lose money when space is provided to one individual. Single travelers are therefore charged a "single supplement," which is approximately 65 percent of the double occupancy rate. Regrettably, those who travel alone must pay a price for solitude.

If there are options that I'm not aware of, I'm sure my readers will let me know.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Last year a family with three children the ages of ours (5, 7 and 11) moved to our block. These are the nicest kids you could imagine. Our children get along famously with them.

After a month or two, their mom mentioned that they normally skinny-dip in their pool and wondered how we felt about our kids doing so when they were visiting. When I explained that we believe in keeping the body private, she assured me that they would be clothed whenever we visited, and nothing more was said about it.

We have socialized with them throughout the year and really enjoyed it. In addition to their swimming naked, I was told that everyone in their family sleeps in the nude, so I can only assume they walk around naked from time to time.

My husband and I began wearing nightclothes when our first child was nearing 2 because we were both raised to believe that exposing oneself to children was harmful. Yet I keep wondering if it is so harmful, why is this family so well-adjusted?

Frankly, my husband and I would like to sleep in the nude again and I would like to skinny-dip in their pool, but I'm confused as to what is right and wrong. Can you help? -- ELLEN C. IN VALENCIA, CALIF.

DEAR ELLEN: There is no "right" or "wrong" here. How one feels about nudity is a personal decision.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem I have never seen addressed in your column or anybody else's. It's doctors who scribble prescriptions in such a hurry that they can't be read, and pharmacists who fail to double-check them with the doctor.

My frail 95-year-old mother was given a double dose of strong medicine by mistake because of a hastily scribbled prescription. The pharmacist didn't check with the doctor -- he just filled it. The nurse at the doctor's office said this happens all the time.

Another patient was taking medicine four times a day when the prescription should have stated "daily."

My son was given only 100 mg. of medication when it should have been 300 mg.

Abby, this is important. What good is it to have a high-priced doctor if no one can read the prescriptions he writes and the pharmacist doesn't take the time to call and check it out? -- ANGRY IN ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

DEAR ANGRY: Your letter is well worth space in my column. Doctors, please take care when writing prescriptions. And pharmacists, if you can't read the prescription, call and check with the doctor who wrote it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a single woman who has been dating a very nice man for the past year. He is a perfect gentleman, intelligent, kind, comfortably retired and has many friends.

This relationship could lead to marriage. We enjoy each other's company and like to do the same things.

The only thing holding me back is his language. He uses terms like "dis, dat and dem" for "this, that and them."

This may seem childish, but I just can't accept the way he speaks. Sometimes I am embarrassed when we are with friends.

Should I tell him how I feel? He is such a nice person, but I think I will probably quit seeing him because of the language problem. Sign me ... MEANT FOR EACH OTHER IN MILWAUKEE

DEAR MEANT FOR EACH OTHER: The gentleman who is "comfortably retired" would find it very difficult, if not impossible, to change the way he speaks. If you can't accept him as he is and you find him an embarrassment, do him a favor and let him go.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)