DEAR ABBY: Several times I have read in your column a list of danger signals that suggest someone may be addicted to alcohol. I brushed it off the first time I saw it since it "obviously didn't refer to me."

I had a good job, a loving wife, eight children and a nice home. I was a social drinker and never missed work due to drinking. At first my wife occasionally nagged me about my drinking.

As time passed, things began to worsen. Co-workers whom I considered less capable were given the promotions I felt I deserved. My relationship with my wife began to unravel, and she avoided my advances. My kids grew older and their friends came to our home less and less often.

When we had a social gathering, my wife and children would beg me not to drink. My health began to deteriorate. More than once my wife threatened to take the kids and leave. Then I would cut down on my drinking and she'd relent, but soon I was hitting the bottle again.

The next time my wife threatened to leave, I thought to myself, "Go, and be damned! If I can't have a few drinks without your nagging, I'd be better off without you." I didn't say it, but it frightened me that I thought it.

Then I saw the test for alcoholism in your column again. I took it and passed with flying colors. However, my conscience wouldn't let me get away with the lies I told myself when I took the test, so I took it again -- this time honestly. You had said that if you answered yes to four or more questions, you had a drinking problem. I answered yes to seven. I finally had to admit I had a problem.

To make a long story short, I've been sober for 12 years now. It wasn't easy. I had that terrible urge to drink several times a year for a few years, but I was able to resist.

I like myself a lot better sober, and so do my wife and children. Abby, please reprint your test; you might help someone else. -- SOMEONE WHO FINALLY GOT SOME SENSE

DEAR SOMEONE: Congratulations on your sobriety. I'm pleased to print the test again.

Readers, if you are unsure whether or not you have an alcohol problem, take this test:

(1) Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so, but lasted only a couple of days? Yes ( ); No ( ).

(2) Do you wish people would stop nagging you about your drinking? Yes ( ); No ( ).

(3) Have you ever switched from one kind of drink to another hoping that would keep you from getting drunk? Yes ( ); No ( ).

(4) Have you had a drink in the morning during the past year? Yes ( ); No ( ).

(5) Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble? Yes ( ); No ( ).

(6) Have you had problems connected with drinking during the past year? Yes ( ); No ( ).

(7) Has your drinking caused trouble at home? Yes ( ); No ( ).

(8) Do you ever try to get extra drinks at a party because you did not get enough to drink? Yes ( ); No ( ).

(9) Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking anytime you want, even though you keep getting drunk? Yes ( ); No ( ).

(10) Have you missed days at work because of drinking? Yes ( ); No ( ).

(11) Do you have "blackouts"? Yes ( ); No ( ).

(12) Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not drink? Yes ( ); No ( ).

If you answered yes to four or more of these questions, you are in trouble. Run, do not walk to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with one another in order to solve a common problem, and to help others to recover from alcoholism.

The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for membership. It is self-supporting through voluntary contributions.

Look for AA in your phone book, or write to P.O. Box 459, Grand Central Station, New York, N.Y. 10017, for information.

Good luck and God bless you.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: From time to time you ask your readers to air their gripes. I have a few suggestions for restaurant personnel.

Please don't ask if we are senior citizens. Some of us may be -- but we don't want to announce it. Senior citizens who want to take advantage of the discounts will ask for them.

And please do not ask if the young person with them is their grandchild. Especially with people having children later these days, it is very often one's child.

Personally I don't like being called "young lady" when I'm obviously not young. Same goes for "young man." It's just as insulting as "old man" or "old lady," as it calls attention to age.

One last suggestion: When you pick up the customer's cash to pay for the meal, don't ask if he or she wants change. Of course they do: If they want you to keep the change, they will tell you. -- ELLIE IN MINNEAPOLIS

DEAR ELLIE: You have made some valuable suggestions. We all know a few people who could benefit from them.

DEAR ABBY: Since this seems to be a time when smokers are finding it increasingly difficult to find a place where they are allowed to smoke, it may be a good time for them to quit.

My husband made that big decision. However, he feels that if you give something up, you should have some reward to show for it. Without saying a word to anyone, he began putting the cost of each day's cigarettes into a bucket.

One lazy weekend, he surprised us by bringing his bucket of money to us to count. Believe it or not, we had enough for a well-funded family vacation. -- NAN IN WYANDOTTE, MICH.

DEAR NAN: I believe it. If all who smoke would count the cost of their habit for a year, they might find that they too could afford a vacation, or something equally rewarding. This, of course, would be in addition to better health.

Readers, take the challenge and see what your cigarettes are costing you each year. Do you really want that much money to go up in smoke?

DEAR ABBY: I recently submitted a letter to USA Weekend in response to a poll on home-schooling. The editor printed only the last sentence of my letter. It read, "No person learns social skills by staying at home."

Abby, home-schooling was not a good experience for me. I had an isolated, abusive and lonely childhood. A local woman, on reading the sentence the editor published, went into a tizzy. "Home-schooled children are not isolated," she declared to our local newspaper. She insisted that her children were not isolated, and to hear her tell it, they were little wonders due to being educated at home.

Had the editor published my entire letter, she would have realized that I was speaking only about myself. However, she gave me food for thought. It dawned on me that when we hear praise for home-schooling, it always comes from the parents.

Abby, how about giving the children a chance to express their feelings about home-schooling? -- OPAL IN OREGON

DEAR OPAL: You asked for it, you got it. Students of home-schooling, may I hear from you?

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Our community is currently rallying support for a 10-year-old who has cancer. We have orchestrated many blood drives in her honor. However, at the City of Hope hospital in Duarte, Calif., and the Red Cross blood donating centers, we've encountered the same situation: Not one person who has donated blood was ever asked if he or she would like to be put on the bone marrow registry. I had to ask the person drawing my blood several times to be placed on this list. It seemed to be a problem for them.

I want your readers to know that if you donate blood, there are no additional needles to get your bone marrow registered. To get on the registry, you must allow them to draw a little more blood -- without any additional needles.

Also, while donating blood, it's important to sign up for the blood platelets donation. People with cancer need platelets desperately.

I think it's inexcusable that people who draw blood from other people don't explain how easy it is to get on the bone marrow registry. It's also inexcusable to me that they don't explain the need for platelets.

There's no better charity than donating blood to hospitals that treat children for cancer. You can even receive a $5 gift certificate, which you can then give to any child currently under the care of the hospital. This allows the child to go to the gift shop and purchase a magazine or cartoon coloring book.

Thank you very much, Abby, for your attention to this matter. Please help spread the word about donating blood and the bone marrow registry. -- JIM MULLIGAN, GLENDALE, CALIF.

DEAR MR. MULLIGAN: Thank YOU, for an important letter. After reading it, I made inquiries about it with both the Red Cross and City of Hope. A media representative from the Red Cross informed me that "donors wishing to be placed on the bone marrow registry must have their blood tested for Human Leukocyte Antigen (HLA) type, and sign a consent form allowing his or her name to be placed on the bone marrow registry. This HLA-type testing is NOT performed on WHOLE blood donors, which may have been the reason he (Mr. Mulligan) was not made aware of the bone marrow registry at the time. It is performed, however, on apheresis donors.

"Apheresis, available at most Red Cross blood donor centers, is a special kind of blood donation enabling the collection of platelets. Blood donors who want to learn more about apheresis donation should call 1-800-GIVE-LIFE to find their nearest Red Cross Blood Center. Once their blood is HLA-typed, and their consent is given, they will be registered as potential bone marrow donors."

Charles M. Balch, M.D., the president and chief executive officer of the City of Hope, had this to say: "The policy of City of Hope Donor Center is to ask each blood donor if he or she would also like to register with the National Marrow Donor Program (NMDP). This is done when the donor first arrives, and then again during the medical screening. In addition, the donor registration area contains signage with information on registering with the NMDP.

"However, despite efforts to inform blood donors of the NMDP, oversights can happen. If the individual who contacted you was not asked if he wished to join the NMDP registry, it was an oversight on our part. We are currently in the process of taking steps to ensure that our policy is followed without exception. In addition, we're planning to redesign the donor center canteen/waiting area to create a more effective visual presentation of all our donor programs. As a pioneer of one of the world's largest bone marrow transplantation centers, we support the efforts, and understand the importance of the NMDP."

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)