DEAR ABBY: "Jack" and I were recently married and are now expecting our first child. Unfortunately, what should be a joyous time for us has turned into a battle of wills.
Advertisement
The day we found out I was pregnant, Jack told me if our child is a boy, he wants to name the baby after both his grandfathers, only one of whom is still living. I told him then I didn't care for either name and suggested we compromise by using one as a middle name, and then selecting a first name that we both like.
We learned last week that we are, indeed, going to have a boy. Jack refuses to discuss any other names. He said he has decided "not to be flexible on the subject" and doesn't care if it is fair or if I like it.
His attitude is killing all the joyful anticipation I should be feeling over the birth of our son. He has made it clear that "honoring" his grandfather is more important to him than considering the wishes of his wife -- the mother of his child.
I've tried telling him how I feel about naming the baby, and that I won't sign the birth certificate unless our son has a name we both agree on. He says he doesn't care; he'll sign it without me.
Shouldn't I have a say in choosing the name my firstborn will carry for the rest of his life? I can't get my husband to listen to me on the subject. What should I do? -- SAD MOM-TO-BE, WHITTIER, CALIF.
DEAR SAD MOM-TO-BE: It is unfortunate that naming the baby has become a battle of wills. However, there may still be some room for compromise.
Consider agreeing to name the boy after his paternal great-grandfathers, then promptly give the child a nickname. Or, tell your husband that if he names the first child, it's your right to name the second -- and put the agreement in writing.