DEAR ABBY: I have been married for three years and love my husband dearly; however, I'm very close to leaving him. Why? Because I feel invisible. I'm a good wife and do everything within my power to make him happy, but when he comes home from work, he greets me with a "hi" -- then he greets our three dogs with petting and words of love. This infuriates me! It's so painful I have to leave the room.
As of three months ago, my husband decided he sleeps better without me, so we've been sleeping apart. I know he works hard at his job, and it's important for him to get a good night's sleep, but that's no excuse for his behavior toward me. Our sex life has practically come to a halt. I expressed my feelings to him, only to be ignored. When I get affectionate with him, he pushes me away saying, "Not now, honey, I'm too tired."
Abby, I don't claim to be the perfect wife, but the house is always immaculate and the laundry is never piled up. I make hot meals daily and our pets are well-groomed and cared for. I am not drop-dead gorgeous, but I get my share of looks and remarks. I will not seek what I need from other men, but I won't spend the rest of my life in a marriage that consists of domestic duties and nothing more.
My husband never misses your column. Hopefully, he'll see my letter, realize how hurt I am, and change his ways. Sign me ... DESPERATE FOR ADVICE IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR DESPERATE: For the sake of your marriage, it is imperative that you find out exactly what happened three months ago that changed the dynamics of your relationship with your husband. He is behaving like a selfish, insensitive clod. Before you walk out, tell him how you feel and offer him the option of marriage counseling.