DEAR ABBY: I am an orthopedic R.N. Depending on the season and the sport, I receive a lot of phone calls from parents. They usually consist of a dad asking if his little "Johnny" can get his cast off because "Johnny has to pitch in the big game tonight, and the team won't make it without him." Or, it might be a mom calling because "Suzie" has an audition for the ballet and she is in line to dance the lead. "She must have her cast off."

These parents need to get a clue that Johnny and Suzie aren't going to be able to pitch, dance, kick, hoist, twist, bend, etc. with a great deal of agility if they have been in a cast for six to eight weeks.

I have to fight the urge to say, "Mr. Smith, if you want to be the star pitcher so bad, do it yourself; don't do it vicariously through your son."

Abby, we aren't talking professional sports or even college-level sports here. We aren't even talking about those people with a scholarship riding on their participation. No, we're dealing with parents of Little Leaguers and amateur dance troupes.

A normal childhood means recovering from these fractures without pressure from Mom and Dad to perform. Since I can't say this to the parents coming into the clinic, I thought I'd say it this way. -- AN ORTHOPEDIC NURSE, PORTLAND, ORE.

DEAR NURSE: You have spoken plainly, and I pray the parents who need to hear the message heed it. Parents must keep in perspective that the health of the child is more important than the temporary glory of a childhood event. Failure to do so can result in physical damage that can last a lifetime.

DEAR ABBY: I am the proud mother of a wonderful, "very cool," 15-year-old son. We learned recently that the parents of my son's best friend will no longer allow the boys to be together because they learned that we are a single-parent family. They have told their son that it is a bad thing and that my son will end up in trouble because of our circumstances. "Statistics prove it."

May I share my Mother's Day with you?

My day began the night before, with a simple-yet-special dinner cooked by my son, who paid for and brought the food home from the store on his bike. Mother's Day morning began with tiptoes to allow Mom to sleep a little longer while my son cooked a breakfast of eggs, warm pastries and hot coffee. Along with a sweet present, he also gave me the gift of a hard day's work to help me with projects I had wanted to tackle. The day ended happily with an evening together at home, with kisses and, "I love you, Mom" before bed.

I know there are reports of problem kids from single-parent families -- but, Abby, I know of many less-than-perfect children who come from two-parent families, particularly the older brother from the family mentioned above. We all know two-parent families where all members are miserable -- an intact marriage does not guarantee happiness. A happy family is just that ... happy. No matter what the size.

There are many wonderful children from single-parent families. Children should be judged by who they are, not by some ignorant generalization. I say "Bravo!" to all kids who make their parents proud -- especially mine. -- A HAPPIER FAMILY THAN MANY, DEL MAR, CALIF.

DEAR HAPPIER: It's unfortunate that your son was made a victim of discrimination for something over which he had no control. He appears to be both thoughtful and generous, qualities that most people value in a friend.

Having two parents can be advantageous, but it is no guarantee of success or excellence. One committed parent can be better than two who are so involved in their own problems they cannot concentrate on the kids.

Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: A woman I have known for some time recently moved back to town and we have run into each other on several occasions. We're both in our mid-20s and neither of us is involved with anyone right now.

A few years ago I began to develop feelings for her that I never had the courage to express. I don't remember when they started, but since her return I realize I still have them, and now when I am around her I can think of little else. I don't know if she thinks of me as any more than a friend.

I've been infatuated before, but I don't think what I've been feeling for these last few years is infatuation. I believe it is love. I want to tell her how I feel, but I fear damaging our friendship.

If I tell her and she does not share my feelings, I don't know how I will get past the awkwardness of seeing her in social situations in the future. Our social circle is tight, and chance meetings would be unavoidable if I want to keep my friends.

What do you think, Abby? Should I take a chance and tell her how I feel? I have everything to gain, but it looks like so much to lose. -- LOVESICK AND LOSING IT

DEAR LOVESICK: There is something that's in between ignoring your feelings and confessing all. It's called a date. Ask the young woman to have dinner with you. Take her to a restaurant where the noise level is low and you can talk. During dinner you'll have an opportunity to steer the conversation in a personal direction. Be attentive to her responses, and you'll come away with a good sense of where your relationship may or may not go. Good luck!

DEAR ABBY: After reading the letter in your column signed "Sad Widow in Illinois," I had to respond.

My father died in 1965. My mother was devastated by his unexpected death and was inconsolable. The following May was their anniversary, and I wondered what I should do. Sending Mother a card might cause more sadness, but I just couldn't ignore that very special day.

A friend told me that when her mother's first anniversary had come up after her father's death, she and her siblings did not do anything by way of remembering it. Later, her mother made the remark, "You would think it never happened." And my friend said to me, "Send your mother a card."

So I did as "Sad Widow" suggested. I bought a "thinking of you" card and wrote a letter to my mother, expressing understanding that this was not a happy anniversary, but their marriage was still something to be celebrated.

My mother was deeply appreciative. She called it her "empty anniversary," and thanked me for remembering. My mother died nine days later.

Abby, please remind your readers to remember the surviving spouse on his or her wedding anniversary. It is still a meaningful occasion. -- GRATEFUL JEANNE

DEAR JEANNE: Thank you for your compassionate insight. I wholeheartedly agree with you.

DEAR ABBY: I hope it's not too late for me to respond to your question, "What is a great lover?"

Abby, there's no such thing as "a" great lover. They only come in pairs. -- JOHN WEHRLE, CHARLESTON, W.VA.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My daughter recently asked me if I knew how Father's Day originated. I have been unable to locate any information about it. Abby, do you happen to know how and when Father's Day started? -- IRENE L. IN DENVER

DEAR IRENE: Father's Day was the brainchild of Sonora Louise Smart Dodd (1882-1978), a resident of Spokane, Wash. When Sonora was 16, her mother passed away, leaving Sonora's father, William Jackson Smart, with the responsibility of raising their six children.

After listening to a sermon on Mother's Day in 1910, she mentioned to the speaker that she liked everything he had said about motherhood, but somehow fatherhood seemed something apart. "Do you not think it would be fair and fine to give fathers a place in the sun?" she asked.

The speaker, Dr. Henry Rasmus, agreed. At the next meeting of local ministers at Spokane's YMCA building on June 6, 1910, Mrs. Dodd presented a petition requesting that the third Sunday in June be set aside as a national "Father's Day." It was endorsed by the ministers, and came to the attention of such national figures as William Jennings Bryan and Woodrow Wilson. Both heartily supported it.

In 1914, Congress endorsed Father's Day, and in 1971 a proclamation by President Richard M. Nixon established Father's Day as a national observance.

DEAR ABBY: My husband (I'll call him Dan) is 65. I am 57. We've been married two and a half years. It's the second marriage for both of us. (We were divorced when we met.)

Dan's son is to be married in three months. I've recently learned that Dan's ex-wife has dictated that I am not to be invited to the wedding. Dan is paying for some of the wedding expenses, which is fine with me, but I am heartsick that I will be excluded.

Dan says he is in the middle, yet he has said nothing to them. His comment to me was, "Well, I can't help who they invite."

Abby, I had nothing to do with Dan's divorce -- in fact, his ex divorced HIM. I have been on friendly terms with both Dan's son and his fiancee, and I feel really hurt over being excluded.

Am I wrong to feel this way? And shouldn't Dan have spoken up for me when he learned of his son's wedding plans? -- LEFT OUT

DEAR LEFT OUT: Your husband should have made it plain when he was invited that you should be invited as well. You are not wrong to feel hurt.

DEAR READERS: Today is Father's Day, and I offer good wishes not only to fathers everywhere, but also to those caring individuals who are donating time and energy to mentor young men whose fathers are absent or deceased.

A gift suggestion that is guaranteed to make a big hit with every man who has ever fathered a child is one that doesn't cost a dime: Sit down and write your dad a letter, telling him how much he has meant to you over the years. Tell him how much you love him and why. If you do, I promise you that it will mean more to him than any gift you could buy. Trust me.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)