DEAR ABBY: I would really appreciate your help in understanding the real issue in this situation.
My boyfriend, with whom I have been living for the past seven years, keeps a post office box in another town. I have been curious as to why, so I asked him last night because the subject of mail came up. (I had asked before, but got no reasonable answer.) He immediately became agitated and defensive and said it was none of my business. I told him that he was not reacting rationally and the reason he offered -- that he didn't want to do the paperwork to switch over to our hometown post office or home delivery -- didn't make any sense to me.
At that point he stomped away from the dinner table and claimed the real reason I asked that question had to do with lack of trust.
It's true, Abby. When our relationship was rocky a year ago, I learned that other women used that P.O. box to write to him. (He never confessed his affairs; I discovered them myself and confronted him.)
What is the real reason he is keeping this P.O. box?
He says he wants to marry me, but given his verbally abusive and physically threatening behavior last night, I have grave doubts that he can be trusted to build an honest relationship. He wouldn't even speak to me this morning.
What is really going on here? -- SEALED WITH A TEAR IN OREGON
DEAR SEALED: The truth is obvious -- but it's too painful for you to accept. He can't be trusted. Sorry.