DEAR ABBY: I am 15 years old and my boyfriend just told me that he loves me. He has opened his heart to me, and I'm afraid that I have nothing to say to him in return.

I know what I feel for him is more than a crush. My emotions are too strong to just "like" him. I love to be around him, I love to talk to him, and I love it when we embrace. I just don't know if I love him.

I know he's not saying this to get me into bed. We were longtime friends before we went on a date. Besides, he's way too shy for that. It took us two months before we actually kissed.

All I know is I cannot concentrate on my school work. I want to talk with him 24 hours a day. When I am with him I feel like I am on cloud nine, and he can pull me out of my darkest moods. Please help me. Do you think that what I'm feeling could be love? -- CUPID-CRAZED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CUPID-CRAZED: You are not the first teen-ager to ask this question. As I explain in my booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know," the crazy, mixed-up feelings you are experiencing are better known as infatuation. Infatuation

can possibly be the first step toward love, but is not, in itself, love.

During your teens, you will have a number of infatuations. Through a few of these -- and experience -- you will acquire a better sense of what love is.

DEAR ABBY: Your response to "Sitting on the Sidelines in New York," whose husband leaves her sitting at the table and dances with every other woman in the room, disregards the fact that she is upset. The reason she is upset -- jealousy, insecurity or whatever -- is unimportant.

If her husband loves her, he'll recognize that his behavior bothers her and change it, or compromise. Otherwise, he is being selfish and having his fun at her expense. It doesn't matter how good he is otherwise, what other people say, or even if his wife's complaints are unjustified. She is upset -- and it needs to be dealt with.

Yes, "Sitting on the Sidelines" should learn to dance is she doesn't know how. Maybe she also needs to work on her self-esteem. But when a partner in a relationship fails to change hurtful behavior, the couple is heading for trouble. I know. I've been there, and the woman I still love is no longer with me because I didn't act on it.

You men out there (and women), please listen to me: If it's hurting your partner and you truly love that person, then stop what you're doing. Discuss it with him or her and solve the problems to your mutual satisfaction. Otherwise, you may find yourself alone. -- LOST MY LADY

DEAR LOST MY LADY: "Sitting on the Sidelines" indicated that her husband is an otherwise affectionate and attentive partner. As you point out, however, he is not perfect. If he were, he would have done exactly as you recommend. You have learned a very valuable lesson, and I thank you for passing it on.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 79-year-old woman and I'm in pretty good shape for my age. Even so, I tire more easily these days, and shopping in department stores has become harder than it used to be because there is no place to sit down and rest for a few minutes. My feet and legs get tired, and if I could just sit and rest, I would be able to continue shopping. As it is, I end up taking a catalog and leaving, because I can't walk or stand that long.

With department stores competing so heavily for business, wouldn't you think they could put a chair or two near the cash register for us older folks? -- MAXINE, LONG BEACH, CALIF.

DEAR MAXINE: I would think they could -- and should -- even though space in department stores is very valuable.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I just read the letter about the heroin addict who killed herself after writing "King Heroin Is My Shepherd." Her note mentioned "the doctor who told my family it would have been better, and indeed kinder, if the person who got me hooked on dope had taken a gun and blown my brains out."

Abby, I think the doctor who said that was partially responsible for the death of this young woman. She did not need a message of hopelessness and despair, especially from a person of authority and respect.

If only the doctor had encouraged her to hurry to Narcotics Anonymous, she might be alive today. Please print this so that other addicts may find new "courage, strength and hope." Narcotics Anonymous can be reached at 1-800-896-8896. -- CLOSE CALL IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR CLOSE CALL: That letter generated a flood of mail from readers whose lives have been touched by drugs, filled with important messages like your own. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing in response to "A Saddened Mom" who believes "it takes a village." It really does. I'm glad someone seems to understand that children involved with drugs need to be helped by the whole community. I'm 17 years old, and I've already had a close friend (who was on drugs) commit suicide. I wish people would understand that people don't take drugs because they are stupid or naive, as convenient as that would be to believe. People take drugs because they are depressed and believe they have nothing better to do with their lives.

I know a lot of kids who are on drugs and none of them really feel they are truly valuable people. If a parent, relative or close adult had really given them a reason to believe they were worthwhile, special and needed, they wouldn't have needed drugs.

"Straight" kids are taught to stay away from "bad" kids, which is too bad -- because peer pressure works just as well in reverse. Peer groups are oftentimes enough to save a child. Fortunately, most of my friends have been saved from drugs by peer pressure. I shudder to think how rare that is. -- YOUNG ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER IN NEW ORLEANS

DEAR ABBY: Thank you for the reworded 23rd Psalm, "King Heroin Is My Shepherd." It is powerful testimony against drug abuse. It's a shame that an educated, talented 23-year-old young lady had to give her life to produce it. What a difference she could have made in the lives of others if she had been allowed to reach her potential. The loss is incalculable.

Neither my wife nor I has ever used illegal drugs, alcohol or tobacco. We have raised six children who, to our knowledge, have never used any of those substances either. For this success I give a great amount of credit to the reading of articles like this one to our children as they were growing up. They always knew where their parents stood and we tried to be totally up-front, honest and fair with them.

I am a volunteer high school teacher. I have already used this column as a teaching tool. Rarely do I have every student's undivided attention, but when I read your column to them, no one even blinked. There was dead silence afterward. I know it helped to reinforce the commitment of some to stay off drugs and help their peers to stay off drugs, too.

Thank you, Abby, and thanks to the 23-year-old's family for sharing that sad suicide note with the world. I hope some good may come of it. -- DENNIS J. DAVIS, GLENDORA, CALIF.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of one year and I have been going through some turbulent times these last several weeks, and at one point we decided to part ways. I was shocked when he handed me a "bill" totaling $1,393.

I admit there were amounts on there that I had told him I would pay back -- but it only added up to half of his total. Amounts like $5, $10 and $20 that I thought he had given in unconditional good spirit were listed on there under months and exact dates throughout the entire year we had been dating. For example, he would say, "Here, Hon, put some gasoline in your tank." I have helped him out monetarily from time to time, but I never expected that he was keeping track of what he was giving me, much less that he'd ask for it back.

Now we're trying to mend our relationship, and I can't get that "bill" out of my mind. He said he wrote it up and gave it to me because he was mad. Now I have a hard time accepting anything from him. I even wonder if this relationship is worth mending. What is your advice? -- CONFUSED IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR CONFUSED: Your boyfriend may have acted in a moment of anger, but he did not compile his detailed ledger on the spur of the moment. If you are looking for a generous man, keep looking. This one is not above using the purse strings to try to control you.

DEAR ABBY: We hear so many horror stories concerning children of divorce, it might be encouraging to hear of one where both parents handle the situation very well.

Since the divorce seven years ago, the two children (now 11 and 13) have been in the custody of their mother. Of course, the father has visitation rights. Never has either parent said anything derogatory about the other. The two have always lived in different areas -- now Cleveland and Dayton, Ohio -- and each has initiated phone calls to the other for the children.

When the mother (my daughter) goes to her Air Force reserve duty in Dayton, the children stay with their father, and occasionally, she, too, stays there. Similarly, when the father and his wife come to Cleveland to see the children, they have stayed at my daughter's home -- as have his relatives.

Last Christmas, they had the greatest arrangements, demonstrating what exemplary parents they are -- the new wife included. During the Christmas vacation, the girls spent several days with their father, then on Christmas Eve when he brought them back to their mother's home, he and his wife stayed overnight, so they could all share Christmas morning with the children.

Abby, wouldn't it be wonderful if more divorced couples could handle the situation so well? -- GRATEFUL GRANDMA IN FLORIDA

DEAR GRATEFUL GRANDMA: Some do, but unfortunately, most do not.

DEAR ABBY: In your tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., you said: "In 1964 he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Dr. King's principles of nonviolence were based on the teachings of Christianity."

Abby, Martin Luther King had to go to India to learn the principles of nonviolence, because they were neither understood nor practiced in the United States.

The civil rights movement in the 1960s reminds us of how violent white Christians really are. They are as violent as Muslims and Jews, if not more violent. Remember, we have had nearly 5,000 lynchings in our history. Christians proclaim brotherly love, love for your neighbor, peace on earth and other notions -- but they often do not practice them. -- HUGO BORRESEN

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)