DEAR ABBY: I am 24 years old and happily married to a 35-year-old man who has had a previous marriage and has two children, 14 and 12.

We have been married for two years and are completely happy with each other. However, the problem is I want a child of my own and he does not.

When we were dating, we often discussed it, and he would say that he has two and that's all he needs, although he might consider more in the future.

Well, Abby, it's the future now, and I am ready to take on the responsibility of a child. Now he tells me that he wants to get himself "fixed" because he has decided not to have more children. I don't think it's fair to me, being young and healthy and wanting to have at least one child of my own.

I love him dearly, but this has put a big damper on our marriage, and I am not sure how to handle this. Please help. -- UNSURE IN FLORIDA

DEAR UNSURE: Consider this: A man who says he wants no more children and is considering getting himself "fixed" to ensure that he will have no more is a poor candidate for fatherhood. True, he did promise to consider it, but it is obvious that he wants no more children.

I recommend counseling for both of you. If he refuses to get counseling -- go without him.

DEAR ABBY: I have often wanted to write about the following, but hoped that someone else would write and provide the answer first.

I am a pre-op transsexual and usually dress in women's clothing, complete with wig and makeup.

My question is, which rest room should I use when I go out in public?

Abby, please inform your readers that most of us transsexuals and transvestites are in the ladies rest room to use the facilities or to repair our makeup -- nothing more. -- MISS "X"

DEAR MISS "X": When you are dressed like a woman, you should use the women's rest room.

DEAR ABBY: Excuse me for being an old fuddy-duddy, but what has happened to basic good manners?

In my day one did not indulge in kissing in public places -- unless one was bidding goodbye in an airport, train or bus station.

I find it embarrassing to witness public displays of affection between my nephew and his current girlfriend at family gatherings in nice restaurants. Often they have to stop right in the middle of the restaurant on the way out to engage in a long, soulful kiss. Since the couple have been living together for several months, it would seem that they could hold off the kissing until they were alone. This has gotten to the point that it is downright embarrassing for the rest of the family to go out with them.

Don't get me wrong, Abby. I am all for hugging and kissing one's true love, but not on the way out of a nice restaurant with a room full of strangers to witness the spectacle.

Am I hopelessly outdated on this? -- OLD-FASHIONED

DEAR OLD-FASHIONED: Outdated? No! Jealous? Maybe!

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: It gave me great encouragement to observe your readers' response to the Rod Carew family's pleas for marrow donors last spring. I was saddened that a match was not found for Michelle, but one never knows how many other lives were saved because of your informative columns.

Cancer is the No. 1 disease killing our children. Some cases -- like that of Michelle Carew -- resist all of our best efforts. However, the National Childhood Cancer Foundation is helping to raise the cure rate every day. Forty years ago, leukemia was an always-fatal disease. Today, 73 percent of children diagnosed with leukemia are alive and well five years later, and hopefully will go on to lead productive lives.

The National Childhood Cancer Foundation is a non-profit organization. Our goal is to achieve a world in which there are no children with cancer, and the only way to do that is through medical research. We support research projects at more than 100 of the most prestigious pediatric medical centers in the world. The improvements in the response and cure rates of children with leukemia (and a great variety of tumors) have been the most gratifying in the entire history of cancer therapy.

However, the work is far from finished. Research on the cures of tomorrow must be done today or we will remain where we are. Abby, please let your readers know that a donation made to the National Childhood Cancer Foundation gets right to work on projects that are just waiting to be funded. Those wishing to contribute can call 1-800-458-6223 for donation information, or write to NCCF, P.O. Box 60028, Arcadia, Calif. 91066. -- MEREDITH BRUCKER, NATIONAL CHILDHOOD CANCER FOUNDATION

DEAR MEREDITH: I am pleased to publicize this fine organization. I cannot imagine a more worthwhile commitment than that of the National Childhood Cancer Foundation: a world where no children (or their families) will suffer from the devastation of cancer. I wish you well.

DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Ashamed and Heartbroken," about her mother having fallen in love with a much younger man, caught my eye.

After more than 20 years of marriage, my parents were divorced. A few years later, Mother announced that she was going to marry her much younger boyfriend. (He is young enough to be her son.) All of us siblings were skeptical, but we trusted Mother's judgment and accepted her decision. That was more than 20 years ago. Since that time our young stepfather has in some respects been more of a father to us than Dad was. He has always been kind, respectful, supportive and loving to all of us.

Now with the onslaught of years, Mother has been subject to many illnesses and hospital stays. She requires care almost 24 hours a day and her ability to walk is minimal. My stepfather has always been there for her.

Over the holidays, Mother went into the hospital again. I have never witnessed a man so genuinely concerned and loving. Marrying this younger man was the best thing Mother could have done. He is, and always will be, a part of our family, and we love him. -- NOT ASHAMED OR HEARTBROKEN IN TORONTO

DEAR NOT ASHAMED OR HEARTBROKEN: Thank you for your testimonial, which illustrates that love has no age limits. Your mother is in my prayers.

DEAR READERS: Worth remembering: "The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." -- FATHER THEODORE M. HESBURGH, NOTRE DAME

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have recently married a wonderful woman whom I consider the girl of my dreams, and I don't want to spoil what we have together.

My problem is an old girlfriend from my college days. Throughout the years, we have remained in contact, mostly because of her persistence. I've wanted to cut the string with this woman for years, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings and saw no harm in maintaining a long-distance friendship, although her dependency on me and her references to me as her "soul mate" have concerned me.

I was relieved when she finally married, but after her marriage came letters and phone calls, complaining about her husband and asking me for advice. She has told me intimate details about him, and frankly, I don't want to share this kind of information about her with my wife. She treats my wife with disregard, sending letters addressed only to me. Her only references to my marriage are the ones that blame it for the lack of communication between us.

Although I once had affection for her, I no longer want this woman in my life, but this decision makes me feel like a heel. Abby, is a man a heel for wanting to put to rest an old relationship?

Have you any suggestions for ending this friendship once and for all? Ignoring her phone messages and letters hasn't seemed to work, and my wife's patience is wearing thin. -- WEARY IN THE WEST

DEAR WEARY: I suggest you TELL this woman that you no longer want to have any communication with her. Then, if her letters and phone calls persist, ask your attorney to explain to her what the word "harassment" means.

DEAR ABBY: Last summer, I was touched by a simple act of kindness from a stranger in a park.

I had gone to New York from California to visit my boyfriend, but by the third day, it was obvious that he didn't want me there.

Overwhelmed with pain and disappointment, I left his apartment and walked down the Manhattan streets, ending up in a park. I sat down and began to cry, thinking to myself, "Everyone says that people in New York don't care, and no one will notice me."

A few moments later, an elderly gentleman walked over and introduced himself. He said he had been sitting across from me, and asked what could be making me so sad. Through my tears, I poured out my heartbreak -- I told him everything. He listened for a long time and then he spoke. "You are a beautiful woman. Your boyfriend doesn't realize what he has. Anyone who would treat you that way isn't worth your time." Then he gave me a hug -- a long, wonderful hug.

This caring, genuine man was like a guardian angel. He gave me the strength to walk back with my head held high, talk to my boyfriend, and feel strong enough to leave the next day.

I will never forget the man in the park. Sometimes perfect strangers show more kindness than one ever expects. -- B.J. IN CALIFORNIA

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)