DEAR ABBY: I have always been close to my aunt. She's my father's sister and is in her early 40s. She's perky, gregarious, charming and very pretty. She's single and insists that she is happy that way. I'm not convinced.
In the last two years, she has dated three men -- one was married, one engaged and one was recently divorced. Initially, all three seemed to genuinely care for her, but after a few weeks, they reunited with their former mates.
It would be one thing if Aunty could say, "Good riddance," and get on with her life, but this is not the case.
She visits the workplaces of their former mates, hoping for an opportunity to drop the bomb that the guys are philandering. She also calls and pages these men at work, then makes excuses to us why they never call her back. Abby, she even drives by their homes and businesses repeatedly.
I'm beginning to dread her visits, and the tales of her activities embarrass me. There is no reason for a woman with her looks and personality to get mixed up with attached men, and carry on like this when they no longer want to see her. When family members comment on her behavior, she gets defensive and angry, but nothing changes.
Abby, is there any way to get her out of this vicious cycle? I would like to see her settled and happy with one man instead of wasting her time on men who are not available. -- EMBARRASSED NIECE
DEAR NIECE: Aunty, with all her charm and beauty, may unconsciously not really want a permanent commitment. She needs to find out why she chooses only men who are not available. I recommend counseling for Aunty.