DEAR ABBY: I am writing in response to the letter signed "Living in God's Glory and Grace," which described a so-called respectable, churchgoing man who had been a child molester for years, but nobody suspected it until he was caught.

Recently my 10-year-old niece was molested by a family member. She is not getting counseling and seems to be fine; however, this event brought out an issue that my sister and I kept hidden for close to 20 years. We are now 28 and 29, but when we were 10 and 11, a family friend molested me on a camping trip. He had repeatedly molested my sister prior to that, but I found out only after I confessed my tragedy. Although the man never threatened to harm us, it was an unspoken command that we were going to keep it to ourselves.

The day after my niece came forward, a flood of emotions overcame me. We were at my sister's house and I told my mom everything. Mom contacted the police and they sent someone out. We learned that this man now lives in Florida. (We live in California.) The police in both states did extensive background checks, but no records of any kind were found. We were told that they did not have enough manpower to pursue this; also, too much time had elapsed. Today this man is free to do whatever he pleases -- including molesting other children.

I pray every day that this was a one-time incident, but somehow I'm not sure.

Please tell your young readers never to be afraid to tell someone right away. Twenty years proved far too long to wait. -- NO JUSTICE SERVED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR NO JUSTICE SERVED: Far too often, many child molesters go unpunished because their victims are too shy or embarrassed to come forward, or worse yet, because they fear they will not be believed. But the suffering of not reporting abuse can be worse then any embarrassment or disbelief one might encounter. I encourage anyone who has been molested to summon the courage to report the crime, and if the first person you tell doesn't believe you, keep telling people until you find someone who does believe you.

DEAR ABBY: As a longtime reader, I have often been inspired and touched by the special poems and essays you include in your columns. A few years ago, I sent for your "Keepers" booklet, so that I would have some of your favorites on hand in times of need.

Our special "time of need" came last fall, with the death of our daughter Kathy after a long and fierce battle with kidney disease. Her death came about seven months after my mother's death and just three weeks after my mother-in-law's passing.

In the midst of our grief, it was very important to us that Kathy's services be appropriate to her courage, her love, and our belief that death could not destroy the love our family has shared. From "Keepers," we selected two poems, the beautiful "Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep" and "A Parable of Immortality." We have had many positive comments on both readings and requests for copies.

Thank you for compiling your "Keepers" booklet. There are many poems that we love and use often. And once again, thank you for being there. You have often lifted my heart with hope, and at times provided a good chuckle as well. -- BARBARA P. KRAUS, CLAYMONT, DEL.

DEAR BARBARA: Thank you for your kind letter. Clearly, 1996 has been a difficult year for you. Please accept my deepest sympathy not only on the loss of your mother and mother-in-law, but on your cherished daughter as well. I am gratified that I was able to provide some comfort to you and your loved ones.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: In January 1983, my wife and I sailed on the Queen Elizabeth II from Fort Lauderdale, Fla., to San Francisco. We were in the middle of a bon voyage party when a young man around 30 peeked into our stateroom. He was a visitor on board, and asked if he could see what a cabin looked like. I invited him in, and we chatted for a few minutes.

As he was leaving, he asked me to do him a favor and purchase four QEII World Cruise T-shirts for his children. (The ship's shops were closed while we were in port, and he would have to disembark before they opened.) He told me what sizes to buy and gave me $30 to cover the cost of the shirts, plus mailing. He gave me a business card -- he worked for a financial organization in Fort Lauderdale.

"How do you know I won't just keep the money and not send the T-shirts?" I asked. He said he had faith in people's honesty.

To make a long story short, I lost his card, so I couldn't send him the T-shirts. When we arrived in San Francisco, I got a Fort Lauderdale telephone directory and made over two dozen calls to different financial companies, but I couldn't locate the young man.

My wife has been nagging me all these years to write to you because we still have the T-shirts. You could put my mind at ease and restore a young man's trust in people by printing my letter. And if you do, I hope he sees it. -- EUGENE GAZZOLO, AUBURN, CALIF.

DEAR EUGENE: It's never too late to make the effort to right a wrong. Should the man see your letter in my column, he will finally know why you didn't send the T-shirts. Then his trust in people may be restored. If I hear from him, I'll let you know.

DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading the letter from "Jennifer in Norfolk, Va.," dealing with the issue of sex education. The question was who should be teaching kids about sex: parents or teachers?

Jennifer makes a broad assumption when she states, "Teachers don't like to talk about the 'touchy-feely' stuff." Well, it's not that teachers don't like to talk about it, but oftentimes they CAN'T talk about it.

I am a young English teacher in the Bay area. I would like nothing better than to discuss sex openly and honestly with my students, but if I decided to do that, I could kiss my teaching career goodbye.

Until the classroom stops being a place for moral battles and starts becoming a place where open communication can flourish without fear, sex education will stay where it is -- buried. -- NO NAME PLEASE, SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR NO NAME: Several of my readers have suggested that rather then calling it "sex education," if it were viewed as health education, the topic might be less controversial. While some parents fear that these classes are sex manuals, in reality all they teach is how pregnancy occurs and diseases are transmitted. Teen-agers need to know much more than this in order to make wise decisions, and ideally both schools and parents should educate young people about sex.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: My New Year's column has become an annual tradition. These New Year's resolutions are based on the original credo of Al-Anon. I am using its theme with some variations of my own:

Just for today, I will live through this day only, and not set far-reaching goals to try to overcome all my problems at once. I know I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I thought I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today, I will be happy. Abraham Lincoln said, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." He was right. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. I will chase them out of my mind and replace them with happy thoughts.

Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

Just for today, I will improve my mind. I will not be a mental loafer. I will force myself to read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

Just for today, I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll make an honest effort to quit. If I'm overweight, I'll eat nothing I know to be fattening. And I will force myself to exercise -- even if it's only walking around the block or using the stairs instead of the elevator.

Just for today, I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will look as good as I can, dress becomingly, talk softly, act courteously, and not interrupt when someone else is talking. Just for today, I'll not try to improve anybody except myself.

We know so much more about nutrition and how much exercise and sensible living can extend life and make it more enjoyable, so just for today, I'll take good care of my body so I can celebrate many more happy new years.

Just for today, I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it, thereby saving myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today, I will gather the courage to do what is right and take the responsibility for my own actions.

To one and all: a happy, healthy New Year! -- LOVE, ABBY

P.S. God bless our men and women in uniform in every corner of the world where our flag is flying. And let us not forget those patriotic Americans who are serving their country in the Peace Corps, as well as those who have served and are now in veterans hospitals and nursing homes.

DEAR READERS: Booker T. Washington (1856-1915), born a slave in Virginia, was the most influential African American leader and educator of his time. Washington advised two presidents on racial problems and policies -- Theodore Roosevelt and William Howard Taft. His accomplishments would fill a large book.

Today I'd like to share a meaningful quote from this great man:

"I believe that any man's life will be filled with constant and unexpected encouragement, if he makes up his mind to do his level best each day and as nearly as possible reaching the high-water mark of pure and useful living."

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)