DEAR ABBY: In January 1983, my wife and I sailed on the Queen Elizabeth II from Fort Lauderdale, Fla., to San Francisco. We were in the middle of a bon voyage party when a young man around 30 peeked into our stateroom. He was a visitor on board, and asked if he could see what a cabin looked like. I invited him in, and we chatted for a few minutes.

As he was leaving, he asked me to do him a favor and purchase four QEII World Cruise T-shirts for his children. (The ship's shops were closed while we were in port, and he would have to disembark before they opened.) He told me what sizes to buy and gave me $30 to cover the cost of the shirts, plus mailing. He gave me a business card -- he worked for a financial organization in Fort Lauderdale.

"How do you know I won't just keep the money and not send the T-shirts?" I asked. He said he had faith in people's honesty.

To make a long story short, I lost his card, so I couldn't send him the T-shirts. When we arrived in San Francisco, I got a Fort Lauderdale telephone directory and made over two dozen calls to different financial companies, but I couldn't locate the young man.

My wife has been nagging me all these years to write to you because we still have the T-shirts. You could put my mind at ease and restore a young man's trust in people by printing my letter. And if you do, I hope he sees it. -- EUGENE GAZZOLO, AUBURN, CALIF.

DEAR EUGENE: It's never too late to make the effort to right a wrong. Should the man see your letter in my column, he will finally know why you didn't send the T-shirts. Then his trust in people may be restored. If I hear from him, I'll let you know.

DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading the letter from "Jennifer in Norfolk, Va.," dealing with the issue of sex education. The question was who should be teaching kids about sex: parents or teachers?

Jennifer makes a broad assumption when she states, "Teachers don't like to talk about the 'touchy-feely' stuff." Well, it's not that teachers don't like to talk about it, but oftentimes they CAN'T talk about it.

I am a young English teacher in the Bay area. I would like nothing better than to discuss sex openly and honestly with my students, but if I decided to do that, I could kiss my teaching career goodbye.

Until the classroom stops being a place for moral battles and starts becoming a place where open communication can flourish without fear, sex education will stay where it is -- buried. -- NO NAME PLEASE, SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR NO NAME: Several of my readers have suggested that rather then calling it "sex education," if it were viewed as health education, the topic might be less controversial. While some parents fear that these classes are sex manuals, in reality all they teach is how pregnancy occurs and diseases are transmitted. Teen-agers need to know much more than this in order to make wise decisions, and ideally both schools and parents should educate young people about sex.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: My New Year's column has become an annual tradition. These New Year's resolutions are based on the original credo of Al-Anon. I am using its theme with some variations of my own:

Just for today, I will live through this day only, and not set far-reaching goals to try to overcome all my problems at once. I know I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I thought I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today, I will be happy. Abraham Lincoln said, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." He was right. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. I will chase them out of my mind and replace them with happy thoughts.

Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

Just for today, I will improve my mind. I will not be a mental loafer. I will force myself to read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

Just for today, I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll make an honest effort to quit. If I'm overweight, I'll eat nothing I know to be fattening. And I will force myself to exercise -- even if it's only walking around the block or using the stairs instead of the elevator.

Just for today, I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will look as good as I can, dress becomingly, talk softly, act courteously, and not interrupt when someone else is talking. Just for today, I'll not try to improve anybody except myself.

We know so much more about nutrition and how much exercise and sensible living can extend life and make it more enjoyable, so just for today, I'll take good care of my body so I can celebrate many more happy new years.

Just for today, I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it, thereby saving myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today, I will gather the courage to do what is right and take the responsibility for my own actions.

To one and all: a happy, healthy New Year! -- LOVE, ABBY

P.S. God bless our men and women in uniform in every corner of the world where our flag is flying. And let us not forget those patriotic Americans who are serving their country in the Peace Corps, as well as those who have served and are now in veterans hospitals and nursing homes.

DEAR READERS: Booker T. Washington (1856-1915), born a slave in Virginia, was the most influential African American leader and educator of his time. Washington advised two presidents on racial problems and policies -- Theodore Roosevelt and William Howard Taft. His accomplishments would fill a large book.

Today I'd like to share a meaningful quote from this great man:

"I believe that any man's life will be filled with constant and unexpected encouragement, if he makes up his mind to do his level best each day and as nearly as possible reaching the high-water mark of pure and useful living."

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: In light of all the negative publicity given to some of the American servicemen with regard to their ungentlemanly behavior where women are concerned, I would like to share an experience I had recently.

I am a female American college student studying abroad at a program in Spain. Recently, three girlfriends and I went down south to the British colony of Gibraltar to sightsee. There, in a lively bar, we encountered about 40 U.S. Navy submarine men who were temporarily stationed there.

We four girls started a conversation with these Navy men centered around the men's families -- they all carried pictures of their girlfriends or wives back home; some even had snapshots of their babies.

While my father may have been leery about his daughter sitting with 40 men, I felt entirely at ease. Not once in the course of the evening was there a lewd remark or an inappropriate gesture directed at us girls. After spending a few hours at this bar, we all went dancing. Again, not a disrespectful hand was laid on my friends or me. To top off the night, when we girls were ready to go back to our hotel, the entire group walked us through the dimly lit streets and saw us safely to our doorstep.

Abby, without a doubt that was one of the most remarkable nights I had in my four-month stay in Europe. The U.S. Navy is to be commended for grooming its men to be respectable, honorable and chivalrous gentlemen. Thank you to the submarine crew of the James K. Polk. -- LORA WILSON, GRANTS PASS, ORE.

DEAR LORA: All too often the rotten apples in the barrel get the headlines while the good apples go unnoticed. Thank you for writing to relate your positive experience.

DEAR ABBY: First, I want to thank you for a column that benefits all ages, sexes and races.

Last year you printed Edgar Guest's poem titled "It Couldn't Be Done." Being an optimistic person, I want to share a poem I ran across. (The author is unknown.) I hope you enjoy it. -- LINDA SCHRADER, TAMPA, FLA.

IT CAN BE DONE

The man who misses all the fun,

Is he who says, "It can't be done."

In solemn pride he stands aloof,

And greets each venture with reproof.

Had he the power he'd efface,

The history of the human race.

We'd have no radio or motor cars,

No street lit by electric stars;

No telegraph nor telephone,

We'd linger in the age of stone.

The world would sleep if things were run,

By men who say, "It can't be done."

DEAR READERS: Have a happy, healthy and prosperous 1997. And remember, if you're driving, don't drink; and if you're drinking, don't drive.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)