DEAR ABBY: With the holidays coming up, please do your readers a favor and print your pecan pie recipe again. Although I had my own absolute, no-holds-barred favorite recipe, I decided to give yours a try -- and my whole family raved, saying it was the best they had ever tasted. I had to agree, Abby, and your recipe is now my No. 1 choice.

I think you should print it every year around this time, when pecan pie is so popular as a holiday dessert. NANCY IN CULVER CITY, CALIF.

DEAR NANCY: I'm delighted that you and your family enjoyed it, because it is one of my all-time favorite recipes. Although it is included in my "Dear Abby's Favorite Recipes" booklet, it has been a while since I've put it in my column. So in the spirit of the holiday season, here it is. There's none better!

ABBY'S FAMOUS PECAN PIE

* 9-inch unbaked pie crust

* 1 cup light corn syrup

* 1 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar

* 3 eggs, slightly beaten

* 1/3 cup butter, melted

* 1/2 teaspoon salt

* 1 teaspoon vanilla

* 1 heaping cup pecan halves

Heat oven to 350 degrees.

In a large bowl, combine corn syrup, sugar, eggs, butter, salt and vanilla; mix well. Pour filling into unbaked pie crust; sprinkle with pecan halves.

Bake at 350 degrees for 45 to 50 minutes or until center is set. (Toothpick inserted in center will come out clean when pie is "done.") Cool. If crust or pie appears to be getting too brown, cover with foil for the remaining baking time.

You can top it with a bit of whipped cream, but even plain -- nothing tops this!

Serves: 8 to 10.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem I hope you can help me with. My husband is a terrific guy and I love him dearly. He is well-educated, clean, well-groomed, handsome and, most important, he is a good daddy. However, he insists on "helping" me around the house with everything from diapers to laundry, cooking to clean-up, the yard work and even homework. Too good to be true?

Well, it's true, but nothing is done to my liking. The diapers are thrown into a trash can in the baby's room, not taken to the garage where they belong. The laundry is "dingy." Meals are either underdone or overcooked, and the clean-up is a "lick and a promise."

How do I tell this wonderful, thoughtful man, "Thanks, but no thanks?"

I appreciate his efforts, but it's often more work undoing his mistakes than just doing it myself. Please help. -- HIS WIFE

DEAR WIFE: Your husband deserves high praise for his efforts. But if his results are not to your liking, it is your responsibility to show him how his efforts can be improved upon. Examples: If the diapers are creating a problem in the baby's room, explain why it's important that they be taken to the garbage. If the laundry is "dingy," explain that it is necessary to wash the white and colored items separately. Showing him how to follow a recipe and use exact measurements should improve his culinary skills. It may take patience, but the results should be spectacular.

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I had to comment on the letter from "R.H.G.," whose mother refuses to wear a hearing aid because she thinks it will make her "old." If she tries one matter-of-factly and refuses to let it change her lifestyle, hardly anyone will even notice it.

I am a male who lost my hearing at age 5, and got my first hearing aid, a clunky body-worn thing, at age 13. My parents were positive that I was frail and weak, so school was all academics and no athletics until I left home for college and started making up for lost time. Of course, I couldn't wear the hearing aid while playing basketball or wrestling, but my teammates and partners had no problem with speaking louder when necessary.

I have been coaching high school and youth league wrestling teams for the last 20 years. My current hearing aid is a behind-the-ear model that I take off and put back on several times at every practice, yet even some of the wrestlers with whom I have worked the most closely have failed to notice the aid for years until I happened to mention it.

"R.H.G.'s" mother could style her hair to conceal a hearing aid, but the best and most effective "cover-up" she can use will be to lead an active life and treat the hearing aid like any other routine item of clothing. -- NAMELESS, PLEASE

DEAR NAMELESS: In this case, the woman's attitude impairment is more disabling than her hearing impairment. I hope she sees your letter.

DEAR ABBY: I know that you have touched on my problem in your column a number of times, but someone wrote an excellent letter you printed, suggesting to family and friends around Thanksgiving that they wished to eliminate gift-giving for the upcoming holidays.

Would you please run that letter again? It would be helpful if I could reread that letter and your response.

Please do not print my name. -- LONGTIME READER

DEAR LONGTIME READER: Here it is, with pleasure:

DEAR ABBY: I think it was about this time last year that you ran a suggested letter for those who wished to discontinue giving Christmas gifts to friends whom you felt sure would appreciate being removed from their gift-giving list.

I failed to cut it out, and now find that I need to let some friends know that we both probably would appreciate not having to go through the gift-giving procedure simply because we've been doing it for years. Thank you again. -- ANONYMOUS, BUT ONE OF MANY

DEAR ANONYMOUS: Be absolutely up-front with your friends. Around Thanksgiving, write them a short note saying that you are counting your blessings -- and among them are friends with whom you can be completely honest. Then suggest: "From now on, let us exchange only Christmas cards -- no gifts." I assure you they will not be offended.

DEAR ABBY: My husband recently asked me not to wear high-heeled shoes when we are together -- at church, for example.

This did not come as a total surprise to me because in the past he has persuaded me to wear flats. He is 5 foot 7 and I am 5 foot 5 1/2, so when I wear heels, we are about equal in height.

My question: What is the real issue here? Is he insecure? Or is it an "ego" thing? -- MISSOURI MRS.

DEAR MISSOURI MRS.: As I size it up, it doesn't really matter why your husband prefers that you wear flats when you are with him.

If I were in your shoes, I would accommodate my husband without making an issue of it.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Please add this to your collection of "acts of kindness."

When my mother was a young girl, her mother became critically ill with a thyroid condition. Her family had no money for the operation she needed to save her life.

The physician mentioned her problem to another patient of his who happened to be a prominent local citizen.

Shortly afterward, the doctor called my grandmother to tell her that an anonymous person had agreed to pay for the surgery she needed -- no strings attached.

The operation was successful, and my grandmother enjoyed many more happy years with her growing family.

The debt of gratitude we owed her benefactor was impossible to measure. It wasn't until many years later that his identity was disclosed.

The town was Independence, Mo., and the man was Harry S. Truman. -- SUSAN CLOW, PITTSBURG, KAN.

DEAR MS. CLOW: My memories of Harry Truman are very vivid. When he defeated Thomas Dewey for president in 1948, it was such a close race, the Chicago Tribune had already printed its headline: "DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN." Your story about the former president doesn't surprise me. Truman was not only very kind, he also was very modest.

DEAR ABBY: In responding to "A.O. in Los Angeles," you said, "Photographing strangers without permission is a clear invasion of their privacy."

Do you recall a photograph of a sailor kissing a nurse in Times Square on VJ Day? How about a teen-ager bent over a fatally wounded student at Kent State? A multitude of well-known (and important) photographs were taken of strangers (not celebrities) without their permission. Because of this "invasion of privacy," we have the masterworks of Henri Cartier-Bresson, Diane Arbus, Dorothea Lange, Robert Doisneau, Sebastian Salgado and more.

As far as the law is concerned, if a person is in a public place or taking part in a public activity, he or she is a part of the environment and may be photographed.

Please set the record straight! -- KRISTINA BRENDEL, PHOTOGRAPHER AND INVADER OF PRIVACY, SCOTTSDALE, ARIZ.

DEAR KRISTINA: I stand corrected and thank you for setting me (and the record) straight.

DEAR ABBY: This is to "Mom in the Middle" from someone who has been there.

I am a 28-year-old mother of a 12-year-old daughter. I had my first sexual encounter when I was 16 years old. The boy (he was 17) used a condom so I thought I was safe. I was wrong. The condom failed. I don't know how it happened, but it did.

Be glad your daughter was honest with you. I was too scared to tell my mother for fear she would tell my father. (She told my father everything even when she promised me she wouldn't.) Dad was shocked when Mom gave him the news, but he accepted it with good grace.

Although my parents are now doting grandparents, we all wish it had been a few years later.

Involve your husband. He has a right to know. -- LEARNED THE HARD WAY

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)