DEAR ABBY: I have been meaning to write to you for a very long time. I'm not interested in a reply. This is a thank-you note.

Eleven years ago, the following piece was published in your column. I had just taken the first step regarding "doing something" about my drinking. At that time, I was a 49-year-old woman, and honestly admitting that I had a problem with alcohol was extremely difficult.

Initially, this poem is what kept me going back to AA. I had been a prisoner, doing hard time in the high-walled prison of alcoholism.

I still have the original, almost worn-out copy from your column. It's been printed and reprinted (not for monetary gain) many, many times. I can't begin to tell you how many of us it has helped.

Perhaps it's time for you to do a rerun.

Thank you! -- ALCOHOLIC IN RECOVERY, NO NAME, ANY TOWN, DATE OF SOBRIETY: JULY 16, 1985

DEAR RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC: Congratulations on your continuing sobriety. I agree, the poem is well worth repeating.

THE DILEMMA

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out for another is to risk involvement.

To expose feelings is to risk rejection.

To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule.

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or love. Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave. He has forfeited his freedom.

Only a person who dares to risk is free.

DEAR ABBY: Please help me. I'm 30 years old and have a professional career. My whole life I have dealt with the embarrassment of showing my embarrassment. My face tends to turn bright red very easily. If I'm a little uncomfortable or speaking to a group or even if people look at me, I blush. It gets worse when someone points it out.

I'm tired of it. I want to know how to stop turning red and what to say to people who feel compelled to call attention to my redness. -- FEELING BLUE FROM TURNING RED

DEAR FEELING BLUE: Blushing cannot be controlled. It occurs when a person feels embarrassment, shame, modesty, confusion or is at a loss for words. There is nothing you can "do" about it, so when someone rudely calls attention to your redness, I suggest you say nothing.

DEAR READERS: And you thought there was nothing funny about the law. David Broome of Phoenix sent me something that may change your mind. These are questions (taken from official U.S. court records) lawyers have put to people on the stand:

Question: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

Q: Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?

Q: What happened then?

A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."

Q: Did he kill you?

Q: Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

Q: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

Q: Were you alone or by yourself?

Q: How long have you been a French Canadian?

Q: Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

Q: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.

A: That's me.

Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

Q: Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?

A: I'll be three months on Nov. 8.

Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was Aug. 8?

A: Yes.

Q: What were you doing at that time?

Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?

A: I used to be.

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

Q: So you were gone until you returned?

Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q: Were there girls?

Q: You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?

A: Yes.

Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?

A: Not yet.

Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel?

A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?

Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I was very disappointed in your response to "No Regrets" who thinks infertile couples should realize that "an empty womb is not a tragedy." "No Regrets" would rather mentor the children of friends and family than be a mother. She self-centeredly concludes that infertile people should give up their dream of being parents and instead volunteer at a school. That may be fine for her, but it is outrageous for "No Regrets" to say that because she has chosen not to be a mother, others must abandon their dream of becoming parents.

You praised her for being generous and for exemplifying the adage "Life is what we make it." In doing so, you set back the hard work done by infertility support groups such as Resolve who try to educate the public so that employers, insurance companies, legislators, doctors, families and friends of infertile couples can understand that infertility is a devastating medical crisis, not a minor inconvenience.

We infertile people are fully aware of the need to come to some resolution of our crisis. Some succeed in becoming parents after medical treatments or through adoption. Some foster or volunteer to help children. Others focus on enjoying the advantages of an adult-only life. But the road to resolution is painful. Our pain is deepened when, out of ignorance, people imply that we are making a big deal out of nothing. It is considered perfectly natural for people to be joyful about expecting a baby. Why then is it so hard to understand the flip side -- not being able to be parents causes the same measure of grief?

My husband and I have had to distance ourselves from family and friends who were insensitive when we needed their compassion. When they disregard the feelings of infertile couples, we must, in self-defense, withdraw from sharing our feelings.

Thank God for the friends who understood. Our Resolve support group was a lifeline. They gave us courage to get through the worst days of a seven-year struggle. No one understands like one who walked in our shoes. I'm glad we didn't give up. This year we were finally able to adopt a beautiful boy. Becoming his parents has filled our hearts with joy.

Abby, it is my hope that this letter will sensitize others to the pain of infertility, and bridge the gap, fostering greater understanding. -- HAPPILY RESOLVED IN CHICAGO

DEAR HAPPILY RESOLVED: Congratulations on your beautiful son. I appreciate your letter.

Perhaps "No Regrets" seemed insensitive to your pain, but for those who have tried everything possible to become parents and it hasn't happened, mentoring others' children offers some gratification.

For those of you who still have hope, once again, I urge you to contact Resolve Inc., which offers emotional support, peer counseling, medical referrals and education for people with infertility problems. Send a business-sized (long), self-addressed, stamped envelope to: Resolve Inc., 1310 Broadway, Dept. DA, Somerville, Mass. 02144-1731.

Good luck to all of you who dream of parenthood. May your dream come true.

YOUR CHUCKLE FOR THE DAY: "As my good friend Al Capp told me a few years ago, the best thing to do with a confirmed hotel reservation slip when you have no room is to spread it out on the sidewalk in front of the hotel and go to sleep on it.

"You will either embarrass the hotel into giving you a room, or you'll be hauled off to the local jug, where at least you'll have a roof over your head." -- ART BUCHWALD

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)