DEAR ABBY: A year ago, my son learned that a girl he had dated in high school 30 years ago was living about an hour's drive from where he lived. He hadn't seen or heard from "Susan" since he joined the Air Force in 1966. When he heard that she was in the hospital recovering from heart surgery, he went to see her. Well, that was the end of his marriage to "Jan," a kind, loving wife and mother.
He left a wonderful wife for a selfish, conniving divorced woman. I still consider Jan my daughter-in-law. Never will I accept the home-wrecker he married. He has alienated himself from his brothers and parents.
Abby, please tell people who feel nostalgic never to rekindle an old flame. The fire my son started has burned his entire family. Now, we have only ashes for memories.
Jan still is considered a member of our family. She always is included in family gatherings. He is not even invited. -- BITTER IN OHIO
DEAR BITTER: Although your relationship with your former daughter-in-law was a good one, all could not have been rosy between your son and Jan. Had his marriage been solid, he would not have been tempted by his old flame.
Please talk to your son. Perhaps he had good reason to leave Jan for Susan. If so, be more supportive of his choice and more accepting of Susan. You can remain friends with Jan and include her occasionally, but in the interest of family harmony, make time for your son and his present wife.